selling family home, kids are guilting us

[Anonymous]

They are welcome to buy it, you have a every right to sell your home if they move out. I understand there tons of memories but still.

[Anonymous]

I will say that if your kids don't live close enough to come for day visits, having a nice comfy large house with a pool guarantees you will see them more when they are older and once they have kids: it's a fun place to come visit you. Where will they stay when they visit you in your small place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why sell? Rent it out. We own 4 properties and plan to never sell any of them.

Thanks for making it harder for me and others like me to buy a first home. No one should be allowed to own a second (or more) home until everyone has a first home (who wants one.)

[Anonymous]

Once you move it becomes normal quick. You’ll be surprised how much you don’t miss your old house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the timing is just hard in early twenties if the kids aren’t fully established in their own homes and lives, which is unlikely. Once they have their own home, kids, etc and just generally set up on their own they will be less affected and more understanding of the reasoning. I would have been pretty sad in my early twenties if my parents moved. Now I’m in my mid-thirties and I fully support them if they want to downsize. I am able to more clearly think about their aging and what is best. I don’t think many, maybe some, college kids are worrying about their parents next stage of life plan- they are busy trying to figure out their own.

This sounds right to me. My parents were always in a huge hurry to move the the next stage of life and would put pressure on us kids and themselves to move forward to where they wanted to be in 5-10 years, even if it wasn't where they wanted to be now.

Just as one example, they sold their dream home in their mid-60s because they decided it would be too much to maintain in their 70s. In the end I think they really regretted not staying in the house and enjoying the space to host family gatherings and spread out for a few more years. Their "retirement" house is much more cramped and they hate being on top of each other. It's been really hard for them.

I'd take a good look at interest rates and see how much money you'll actually save by moving and consider if it would be just as good to move in 1-3 years. It's fine if you want to downsize and that's the plan, but is now the right time? Your kids say it's too soon. Maybe there are reasons why now is the perfect moment or maybe next year would be okay too.

[Anonymous]

Any update from the OP since this thread is six months old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you acknowledged that this will be painful for them? Kids want to be able to come home, and to many people that means the house they grew up in. It might help to acknowledge that this might kind of suck for them. But explain that you are getting older and the house is too much for you. And make sure they know that the new place will still be their home.

If it makes you feel better, I know lots of families who moved - whose kids were at various stages and were upset - and the kids /adults always adjust.

My parents moved 90 minutes away the week after I went to college. I hated that I couldn't go back "home". I really hated it. Yes I got over it, but I lost all connections to my high school friends but 1. Now as an adult, I get it, I get the desire to move and begin a new chapter.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s rough to do this when your kids are in their early 20s and/or still in college. Can’t you wait a couple years? Transitioning into independent adulthood is emotionally hard enough without feeling like your “home” is gone too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sell? Rent it out. We own 4 properties and plan to never sell any of them.

Thanks for making it harder for me and others like me to buy a first home. No one should be allowed to own a second (or more) home until everyone has a first home (who wants one.)

What stupidity! Why should everyone own a home? People should rent. If some person is smart enough to own multiple properties and rent them out then the renters have a roof over their heads. Home ownership is not an inalienable right.