selling family home, kids are guilting us

[Anonymous]

Why sell? Rent it out. We own 4 properties and plan to never sell any of them.

[Anonymous]

Life changes. Nothing stops it. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life changes. Nothing stops it. End of story.

This. And really, your kids may be upset about it for a little bit but they will get over it. It won't traumatize them.

[Anonymous]

We raised four kids in a huge and beautiful home in a nice suburb that even the kids’ friends had fond memories of. We sold the house after the youngest left for college and downsized to a smaller house in the city.

When I got wind that the kids were laying a guilt trip on my spouse I reached out to them separately and told them to knock it off or I’d make them regret it. I told them that while I understood how they felt they knew full well that it was not an easy decision for us to make and they had no business making my spouse feel bad about it. We were already going through a major life change as new empty nesters and their attitude about this was selfish and uncaring.

They got the message and changed their tune. It did not take long for them to adjust after that, and now it’s as if we never lived in that house.

Try this approach. Even if it’s you and not your spouse who’s getting hit up with the guilt trip or is the one feeling guilty, tell them to knock it off. You are entitled to a life too. Don’t put up with their bullshit. They’ll come around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why sell? Rent it out. We own 4 properties and plan to never sell any of them.

Go away. Not relevant and not helpful. Besides, I can’t think of anything worse than owning four properties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless one of them can take over mortgage, not much can be done.

Tons of Tiktok of kids not wanting to sell their childhood homes and they moved on...

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to them, tell them you are sad too and explain why as adults sometimes you have to make necessary financial decisions for the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to them, tell them you are sad too and explain why as adults sometimes you have to make necessary financial decisions for the long run.

The "kids" are adults, not five year olds. A simple "Because we're the parents and we said so, that's why" should suffice.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 12 and 15 and I’ve been telling them for the past year they I’m selling this house as soon as they’re out of the house, so I’m preparing them. Youngest wants to buy it, and I’m like sure, if you have the $$$.

[Anonymous]

I won't lie... I occasionally drive past each of my (divorced) parents former homes and feel nostalgic. So many memories wrapped up in those houses. But your kids will get over it. You will have so much less stress by downsizing. Don't feel guilty. It's ok for everyone to acknowledge that it's sad saying goodbye to a home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. No I have not talked to them about how it makes me or them feel. Thank you for that input. I will sit down with them and talk about our feelings as well as theirs. I am also sad to sell. So many amazing memories here and longest I have ever lived any where but we are excited for the next chapter and of course our next home will be their home too. No matter where I live, my kids are welcomed with open doors

I think this is the only way to go, OP. My parents sold their house when I was in my mid-30s and I was such a jerk about it. Finally, my mom told me that she was worried my father would have a heart attack one morning, shoveling out the walk. I was still living in a city condo and just didn’t understand how much work that place required. I needed my mom to spell it out for me. Your kids are even younger so probably lack any perspective on this. Listen to their feelings and consider it a blessing that your home contains fond memories for them. Be patient, but firm. You are doing the right thing for you and your spouse. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

A conversation with the "kids" about the Guilt Trip is needed. Maybe your family can plan a different sort of trip moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them to cut it out. They've made their opinion vocal, you've heard them, you're doing this for financial reasons and if they are that upset they can present you with an offer. Otherwise they need to grow up and deal with it. People downsize. That's life.

+1

I have all the sympathy in the world for adult children who struggle with the things their parents did wrong and the parents tell them to grow up and deal with it. But this is a freaking house. Be nice to your kids but don’t let them guilt you about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why sell? Rent it out. We own 4 properties and plan to never sell any of them.

Because being a landlord sucks. Sure it could go well and you could make money. But ultimately, most renters are not careful with the property, don't tell you about minor issues, so when something happens it is major. You could easily get terrible renters and have them "destroy" the house, causing you thousands to repair (and years in courts to get any money beyond the deposit).

Not to mention financially, your renters could go at the end of a lease, and it could take you 3-6 months to find new ones potentially. Costing your thousands.

[Anonymous]

We have two kids, one in high school and the other one in their 1st year of college and we are already having these conversations.

They know Mom and dad will downsize once they are done with College. We might wait longer but our kids know that's our plan.

My kids are fine with it but I have boys....OP might have girls. lol.