Unhappy with family gift

[Anonymous]

Its suspect that the OP won’t tell us what the activity actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP. If someone isn’t willing to spend a few hours with family, why should I even get a regular gift? That seems crazy to me.

And yes, my point in family experiences is that it’s one time of the year we can all make time together. It’s something we can count on.

Time together feels like the basis of most relationships. They live within an hour of us. What should I do, not talk to them all year, ask for a list and ship them gifts to show I “care”. That’s silly.

No, this is ridiculous. Spending time together as a family is not a gift. You invite them over for a dinner at your house and you spend time together. Spending the day at a spa with the entire family as a gifts is another story, maybe they don't like the spa or whatever experience you are gifting them. I have really litte vacation time and all family overseas so my time is really precious. For the 50th anniversary IL gave us as a gift staying at a resort in the middle of total nowhere rural wisconsin with a water park for a week. That year i had to give up going to see my family overseas because i did not have enough time, had to fly with a 6month old baby and spend time in a condo for a week in the middle or nowhere with w baby woule could not go to the water park. I went because i love my IL and wanted to celebrate their 50th but i did not see the staying as a gift to me, it was a nightmare i still remember and my kid is in HS. I love spending time with my IL but not doing activity they dictate as we have different habits

OK I would seriously love this! Do you know the name of the resort?
I would love to do an escape room too. All the horrors everyone is throwing out in this thread is giving me great ideas for immediate family activities (no one else in our experience!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP. If someone isn’t willing to spend a few hours with family, why should I even get a regular gift? That seems crazy to me.

And yes, my point in family experiences is that it’s one time of the year we can all make time together. It’s something we can count on.

Time together feels like the basis of most relationships. They live within an hour of us. What should I do, not talk to them all year, ask for a list and ship them gifts to show I “care”. That’s silly.

No, this is ridiculous. Spending time together as a family is not a gift. You invite them over for a dinner at your house and you spend time together. Spending the day at a spa with the entire family as a gifts is another story, maybe they don't like the spa or whatever experience you are gifting them. I have really litte vacation time and all family overseas so my time is really precious. For the 50th anniversary IL gave us as a gift staying at a resort in the middle of total nowhere rural wisconsin with a water park for a week. That year i had to give up going to see my family overseas because i did not have enough time, had to fly with a 6month old baby and spend time in a condo for a week in the middle or nowhere with w baby woule could not go to the water park. I went because i love my IL and wanted to celebrate their 50th but i did not see the staying as a gift to me, it was a nightmare i still remember and my kid is in HS. I love spending time with my IL but not doing activity they dictate as we have different habits

OK I would seriously love this! Do you know the name of the resort?
I would love to do an escape room too. All the horrors everyone is throwing out in this thread is giving me great ideas for immediate family activities (no one else in our experience!)

And this is it. What if love to do with some people is not what I’d like to do in required conditions with other people.

My ILs are all lovely people, but I don’t want to drive for an hour with my exhausted 6YO to go get locked in a room with them in the name of fun and family. Nor do I find a normally fun thing as fun as it could be with them.

Don’t get me wrong. I like them. I do enjoy their company. I am concerned and invested in their wellbeing. But they’re not my idea or desire of fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its suspect that the OP won’t tell us what the activity actually is.

She said a board game, color books, etc - things she already has in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP. If someone isn’t willing to spend a few hours with family, why should I even get a regular gift? That seems crazy to me.

And yes, my point in family experiences is that it’s one time of the year we can all make time together. It’s something we can count on.

Time together feels like the basis of most relationships. They live within an hour of us. What should I do, not talk to them all year, ask for a list and ship them gifts to show I “care”. That’s silly.

No, this is ridiculous. Spending time together as a family is not a gift. You invite them over for a dinner at your house and you spend time together. Spending the day at a spa with the entire family as a gifts is another story, maybe they don't like the spa or whatever experience you are gifting them. I have really litte vacation time and all family overseas so my time is really precious. For the 50th anniversary IL gave us as a gift staying at a resort in the middle of total nowhere rural wisconsin with a water park for a week. That year i had to give up going to see my family overseas because i did not have enough time, had to fly with a 6month old baby and spend time in a condo for a week in the middle or nowhere with w baby woule could not go to the water park. I went because i love my IL and wanted to celebrate their 50th but i did not see the staying as a gift to me, it was a nightmare i still remember and my kid is in HS. I love spending time with my IL but not doing activity they dictate as we have different habits

OK I would seriously love this! Do you know the name of the resort?
I would love to do an escape room too. All the horrors everyone is throwing out in this thread is giving me great ideas for immediate family activities (no one else in our experience!)

Why would you want to travel to the middle of nowhere Wisconsin for a water park? Yuck, yuck,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP. I would much rather give and receive experience gifts than more crap my kids don't want. I also like that OP is taking the initiative to actually plan it. I have one relative who keeps giving my kids "experience" gifts but then never follows up and does it. She gave my daughter the same "experience" 3 birthdays in a row, but never actually took her to do it.

Don’t give us something to do. It’s a hassle and your idea of fun. It’s something we need to schedule and takes up a free day, which we rarely have. It’s okay, you don’t need to give anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP. If someone isn’t willing to spend a few hours with family, why should I even get a regular gift? That seems crazy to me.

And yes, my point in family experiences is that it’s one time of the year we can all make time together. It’s something we can count on.

Time together feels like the basis of most relationships. They live within an hour of us. What should I do, not talk to them all year, ask for a list and ship them gifts to show I “care”. That’s silly.

No, this is ridiculous. Spending time together as a family is not a gift. You invite them over for a dinner at your house and you spend time together. Spending the day at a spa with the entire family as a gifts is another story, maybe they don't like the spa or whatever experience you are gifting them. I have really litte vacation time and all family overseas so my time is really precious. For the 50th anniversary IL gave us as a gift staying at a resort in the middle of total nowhere rural wisconsin with a water park for a week. That year i had to give up going to see my family overseas because i did not have enough time, had to fly with a 6month old baby and spend time in a condo for a week in the middle or nowhere with w baby woule could not go to the water park. I went because i love my IL and wanted to celebrate their 50th but i did not see the staying as a gift to me, it was a nightmare i still remember and my kid is in HS. I love spending time with my IL but not doing activity they dictate as we have different habits

OK I would seriously love this! Do you know the name of the resort?
I would love to do an escape room too. All the horrors everyone is throwing out in this thread is giving me great ideas for immediate family activities (no one else in our experience!)

Why would you want to travel to the middle of nowhere Wisconsin for a water park? Yuck, yuck,

It's probably Wisconsin Dells. So I guess you write off the entire state of WI as yuck? You sound ignorant and small minded.

[Anonymous]

No, it’s a gift. You get what they want. If it’s a required time/place though, that’s annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its suspect that the OP won’t tell us what the activity actually is.

She said a board game, color books, etc - things she already has in the house.

Wait, so OP is throwing a hissy fit over inviting people over for coloring books and pizza?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP. If someone isn’t willing to spend a few hours with family, why should I even get a regular gift? That seems crazy to me.

And yes, my point in family experiences is that it’s one time of the year we can all make time together. It’s something we can count on.

Time together feels like the basis of most relationships. They live within an hour of us. What should I do, not talk to them all year, ask for a list and ship them gifts to show I “care”. That’s silly.

No, this is ridiculous. Spending time together as a family is not a gift. You invite them over for a dinner at your house and you spend time together. Spending the day at a spa with the entire family as a gifts is another story, maybe they don't like the spa or whatever experience you are gifting them. I have really litte vacation time and all family overseas so my time is really precious. For the 50th anniversary IL gave us as a gift staying at a resort in the middle of total nowhere rural wisconsin with a water park for a week. That year i had to give up going to see my family overseas because i did not have enough time, had to fly with a 6month old baby and spend time in a condo for a week in the middle or nowhere with w baby woule could not go to the water park. I went because i love my IL and wanted to celebrate their 50th but i did not see the staying as a gift to me, it was a nightmare i still remember and my kid is in HS. I love spending time with my IL but not doing activity they dictate as we have different habits

OK I would seriously love this! Do you know the name of the resort?
I would love to do an escape room too. All the horrors everyone is throwing out in this thread is giving me great ideas for immediate family activities (no one else in our experience!)

NP but I’m guessing that poster is talking about the Wisconsin dells. There are lots of “resorts” w indoor and outdoor water parks there. It’s about an hr from Madison or closer to 2 hrs drive from Milwaukee.

[Anonymous]

What is your experience gift, OP? You make it sound like your “gift” to them is inviting them over to your house for dinner and coloring…that’s NOT a gift 😂

[Anonymous]

Just so I'm clear....

You texted your SIL that their gift is that you'll have them over for board games and get their kids new coloring books, and you're upset that she didn't respond?

She could have responded. I might have responded "thanks" to you while saying "wtf" in my mind. Hosting your family doesn't count as a gift. That's

[Anonymous]

If you're gifting me an experience for my family, I want to be able to do it when it works for me, not on a schedule that you have picked out. Odds are they are sick of these obligatory family functions that you keep forcing them into.... That probably work for you and your family scheduled but not always theirs. Also you did not ask a question so what did you want them to respond with?.

[Anonymous]

Having your family over is not a gift or something that should only happen once a year. Wtaf!

[Anonymous]

There is a reason this ends up being the one time the entire family is together. If they all wanted to be together more often they would be. You trying to force the family together with your experience gift may be getting old. Guilting people with a get together disguised as their gift will only work for so long.