Friendship breakups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

+1 It's textbook narcissistic abuse:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2019/10/triangulation-and-narcissism#1

https://www.narcissistexposed.com/narcissist-smear-campaign/

So we're saying my ex-friend is a narcissist? Huh. That would jibe.

No, the PP talking about a smear campaign is describing narcissistic abuse. I'm not saying she isn't. I don't know anything but your perspective and intent. But your quickness to jump on this without reading the links suggests that maybe she is better off.

I did read the links. My ex-friend apparently was engaged in a smear campaign against her other friends, and was using me as the "accomplice." The links suggest this is a behavior of narcissistic abuse toward her other friends.

Yeah, sure you read all three links in oh, about 2.5 minutes. You already said you weren't friends with the victims which would be required for a smear campaign, it's just like the PP above said with people weaponizing therapy speak that they don't understand. Which you should try.

Oh, I am in therapy. Thank you for your concern. I have discussed my ex-friend at length; my therapist for months encouraged me to end our friendship as she felt the friend was toxic.

It isn't difficult to read those links in 2.5 minutes...?

Anyway, I'm a bit lost as to what you're accusing me of, but it doesn't really matter. I hope you have a better day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

Ok, so I listened to someone crap on her friends, tried to defend her friends to her, but also did not do anything else to stop the behavior. I own that I did that, don't feel good about it, and have broken up with the friend. It doesn't seem like anyone's feelings will be helped by me going up to her friends to let her know of her behavior, so I'm not going to.

It would help them be informed. Why do their secrets get broadcasted while the gossip remains safe to continue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

Ok, so I listened to someone crap on her friends, tried to defend her friends to her, but also did not do anything else to stop the behavior. I own that I did that, don't feel good about it, and have broken up with the friend. It doesn't seem like anyone's feelings will be helped by me going up to her friends to let her know of her behavior, so I'm not going to.

It would help them be informed. Why do their secrets get broadcasted while the gossip remains safe to continue?

Why would they listen to someone they aren't friends with though? I would imagine that the middle person (apparently the narcissist) is talking negatively to them about the original person, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

Ok, so I listened to someone crap on her friends, tried to defend her friends to her, but also did not do anything else to stop the behavior. I own that I did that, don't feel good about it, and have broken up with the friend. It doesn't seem like anyone's feelings will be helped by me going up to her friends to let her know of her behavior, so I'm not going to.

It would help them be informed. Why do their secrets get broadcasted while the gossip remains safe to continue?

Why would they listen to someone they aren't friends with though? I would imagine that the middle person (apparently the narcissist) is talking negatively to them about the original person, too.

I'm sorry...what? Could you try that again?

[Anonymous]

That came off rude, but I just didn't understand the phrasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to ghost a longtime close friend from college. We had so many great times and laughs together through college and in our twenties as we lived in the same area. We were bridesmaids for each other and had playdates for our kids. Then she and her husband ended up getting a divorce when he cheated on her and she wouldn't forgive him.

The problem was that my husband and this man have become close friends themselves. They work in the same field, and her now-ex is very prominent and well-connected. So it would be professional suicide for my husband to take her side or even to remain neutral. My former friend couldn't believe that anyone who knew what happened would choose her ex over her, and was furious with me for not making my husband stop associating with her ex.

It got to the point where we just couldn't maintain my friendship with her and our close connection with her ex, so I had to drop her. It's not just that he is too valuable a friend and associate for my husband. It's that she played her own part in his cheating by getting too emotional over things we all face and deal with, like her father passing away in this case just as she finished her first trimester for her second kid. She was a mess emotionally and then let herself go while he just became more successful and magnetic. it was similar to what happened to Jeff Bezos's wife where he had a glow-up and she couldn't keep pace. So he found someone who was much more fun and who would look at him now but wouldn't have back then. When I tried to explain this to my now-former friend, she blew up at me and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. So yes friendships have seasons, and sometimes you have to shed the old one to maximize the new one's benefits.

Omg. You’re horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

Ok, so I listened to someone crap on her friends, tried to defend her friends to her, but also did not do anything else to stop the behavior. I own that I did that, don't feel good about it, and have broken up with the friend. It doesn't seem like anyone's feelings will be helped by me going up to her friends to let her know of her behavior, so I'm not going to.

It would help them be informed. Why do their secrets get broadcasted while the gossip remains safe to continue?

Why would they listen to someone they aren't friends with though? I would imagine that the middle person (apparently the narcissist) is talking negatively to them about the original person, too.

I'm sorry...what? Could you try that again?

Narcissist (ex-friend): Larlene
Friend: Larlanne
Couple: Larlo and Larla

If Larlanne went and talked to Larlo and Larla about Larlene, why would Larlo and Larla believe Larlanne? Particularly as Larlene probably talked badly to Larlo and Larla about Larlanne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to ghost a longtime close friend from college. We had so many great times and laughs together through college and in our twenties as we lived in the same area. We were bridesmaids for each other and had playdates for our kids. Then she and her husband ended up getting a divorce when he cheated on her and she wouldn't forgive him.

The problem was that my husband and this man have become close friends themselves. They work in the same field, and her now-ex is very prominent and well-connected. So it would be professional suicide for my husband to take her side or even to remain neutral. My former friend couldn't believe that anyone who knew what happened would choose her ex over her, and was furious with me for not making my husband stop associating with her ex.

It got to the point where we just couldn't maintain my friendship with her and our close connection with her ex, so I had to drop her. It's not just that he is too valuable a friend and associate for my husband. It's that she played her own part in his cheating by getting too emotional over things we all face and deal with, like her father passing away in this case just as she finished her first trimester for her second kid. She was a mess emotionally and then let herself go while he just became more successful and magnetic. it was similar to what happened to Jeff Bezos's wife where he had a glow-up and she couldn't keep pace. So he found someone who was much more fun and who would look at him now but wouldn't have back then. When I tried to explain this to my now-former friend, she blew up at me and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. So yes friendships have seasons, and sometimes you have to shed the old one to maximize the new one's benefits.

Omg. You’re horrible.

Yeah i feel like this lil nugget got overlooked in all of that other drama in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

Ok, so I listened to someone crap on her friends, tried to defend her friends to her, but also did not do anything else to stop the behavior. I own that I did that, don't feel good about it, and have broken up with the friend. It doesn't seem like anyone's feelings will be helped by me going up to her friends to let her know of her behavior, so I'm not going to.

It would help them be informed. Why do their secrets get broadcasted while the gossip remains safe to continue?

Why would they listen to someone they aren't friends with though? I would imagine that the middle person (apparently the narcissist) is talking negatively to them about the original person, too.

I'm sorry...what? Could you try that again?

Narcissist (ex-friend): Larlene
Friend: Larlanne
Couple: Larlo and Larla

If Larlanne went and talked to Larlo and Larla about Larlene, why would Larlo and Larla believe Larlanne? Particularly as Larlene probably talked badly to Larlo and Larla about Larlanne.

LOL I guess that helped

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to ghost a longtime close friend from college. We had so many great times and laughs together through college and in our twenties as we lived in the same area. We were bridesmaids for each other and had playdates for our kids. Then she and her husband ended up getting a divorce when he cheated on her and she wouldn't forgive him.

The problem was that my husband and this man have become close friends themselves. They work in the same field, and her now-ex is very prominent and well-connected. So it would be professional suicide for my husband to take her side or even to remain neutral. My former friend couldn't believe that anyone who knew what happened would choose her ex over her, and was furious with me for not making my husband stop associating with her ex.

It got to the point where we just couldn't maintain my friendship with her and our close connection with her ex, so I had to drop her. It's not just that he is too valuable a friend and associate for my husband. It's that she played her own part in his cheating by getting too emotional over things we all face and deal with, like her father passing away in this case just as she finished her first trimester for her second kid. She was a mess emotionally and then let herself go while he just became more successful and magnetic. it was similar to what happened to Jeff Bezos's wife where he had a glow-up and she couldn't keep pace. So he found someone who was much more fun and who would look at him now but wouldn't have back then. When I tried to explain this to my now-former friend, she blew up at me and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. So yes friendships have seasons, and sometimes you have to shed the old one to maximize the new one's benefits.

Omg. You’re horrible.

Yeah i feel like this lil nugget got overlooked in all of that other drama in this thread.

It's pretty stunning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to ghost a longtime close friend from college. We had so many great times and laughs together through college and in our twenties as we lived in the same area. We were bridesmaids for each other and had playdates for our kids. Then she and her husband ended up getting a divorce when he cheated on her and she wouldn't forgive him.

The problem was that my husband and this man have become close friends themselves. They work in the same field, and her now-ex is very prominent and well-connected. So it would be professional suicide for my husband to take her side or even to remain neutral. My former friend couldn't believe that anyone who knew what happened would choose her ex over her, and was furious with me for not making my husband stop associating with her ex.

It got to the point where we just couldn't maintain my friendship with her and our close connection with her ex, so I had to drop her. It's not just that he is too valuable a friend and associate for my husband. It's that she played her own part in his cheating by getting too emotional over things we all face and deal with, like her father passing away in this case just as she finished her first trimester for her second kid. She was a mess emotionally and then let herself go while he just became more successful and magnetic. it was similar to what happened to Jeff Bezos's wife where he had a glow-up and she couldn't keep pace. So he found someone who was much more fun and who would look at him now but wouldn't have back then. When I tried to explain this to my now-former friend, she blew up at me and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. So yes friendships have seasons, and sometimes you have to shed the old one to maximize the new one's benefits.

Wait . . . what? You had a lifelong friend whose husband cheated on her, continued to stay close to him for fiscal reasons, and then blamed her (to her face!!) for being cheated on? And then when she got mad at you, you decided that *she* was the toxic one, and ghosted her?

Holy smokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes friends turn out to not as good friends as we hope they will be. I have a neighborhood mom friend that I am learning has always been more of a drinking buddy and not an actual friend. Over the past few months I’ve cut way down on drinking and I have been on weight loss and exercise plan that is going really well. It’s been a slow process but I’ve lost 10 pounds and I feel great. My friend has NOT reacted well to it. She makes snarky comments about it just about every time I see her. She also talks negatively about it to mutual friends of ours. I am getting to the point where I am going to say something about it instead of awkwardly laughing it off. It’s disappointing because I thought she was a good friend, so it makes me sad that she is so strongly opposed to me taking steps to improve myself. I know it’s rooted in jealousy and her feelings about herself. I know I need to say something in a nice way that gets the message across, but I don’t think it will go over well. If it doesn’t I will likely have to just distance myself from her. I am a middle age woman- I am too old for people in my life who try to bring me down instead of lifting me up and encouraging me to be my best.

When I quit drinking in my late 20s, I lost all my friends. I was shocked because I thought, oh, they'll want to make this healthy choice too! We'll do it together! For some people, drinking is a very big part of their identity.

Given that you reek of judgment and pomposity in this four sentence post, I'm not surprised. Sounds like you must have been absolutely unbearable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to ghost a longtime close friend from college. We had so many great times and laughs together through college and in our twenties as we lived in the same area. We were bridesmaids for each other and had playdates for our kids. Then she and her husband ended up getting a divorce when he cheated on her and she wouldn't forgive him.

The problem was that my husband and this man have become close friends themselves. They work in the same field, and her now-ex is very prominent and well-connected. So it would be professional suicide for my husband to take her side or even to remain neutral. My former friend couldn't believe that anyone who knew what happened would choose her ex over her, and was furious with me for not making my husband stop associating with her ex.

It got to the point where we just couldn't maintain my friendship with her and our close connection with her ex, so I had to drop her. It's not just that he is too valuable a friend and associate for my husband. It's that she played her own part in his cheating by getting too emotional over things we all face and deal with, like her father passing away in this case just as she finished her first trimester for her second kid. She was a mess emotionally and then let herself go while he just became more successful and magnetic. it was similar to what happened to Jeff Bezos's wife where he had a glow-up and she couldn't keep pace. So he found someone who was much more fun and who would look at him now but wouldn't have back then. When I tried to explain this to my now-former friend, she blew up at me and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. So yes friendships have seasons, and sometimes you have to shed the old one to maximize the new one's benefits.

Wait . . . what? You had a lifelong friend whose husband cheated on her, continued to stay close to him for fiscal reasons, and then blamed her (to her face!!) for being cheated on? And then when she got mad at you, you decided that *she* was the toxic one, and ghosted her?

Holy smokes.

I love the cute lil moralizing quote at the end there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up with a friend who now is posting a lot about me in the DCUM Relationship Discussion Board, with lots of identifying information. So that's fun.

Details! Dish!

I thought with time we could figure it out but her behavior is really closing that door. I didn't really realize over the years how much she truly hated me. It has made me wonder why in hell she was friends with me if she thought so little of me. Why did she never say anything?

Why do people maintain friendships with people they secretly despise?

Frenemies, yes. I have never understood this. I don't understand the point of pretending to be friends while you do nothing but criticize each other and talk $hit behind one another's backs. What is the point? Just go be your own person.

I should have figured it out because she does she talked s**t about her other friends to me. And the things she said were brutal, like a couple she's friends with were bad parents (she has no kids), or one woman was lying about traumas she was in therapy for. Like, she would talk about someone else's deeply confided issues and make fun of them. Idk, do you tell the other people that she talked crap about?

Is that not triangulation? Sounds like toxic behavior on your part.

It wouldn't be triangulation as I'm not friends with the other people (so no triangle). And I did call her out when she was mocking the one woman about her traumas. And did try to suggest to her that her viewpoint on parenting is perhaps unjustified because she's not a parent. So oddly, I did stick up for those other people.

but yes, it was toxic of me to listen and not to leave her based on that. I probably enabled the behavior and helped her hurt those other people.

Triangulation does not require a literal friendship triangle, but you can conduct your smear campaign if you like.

Ok, so I listened to someone crap on her friends, tried to defend her friends to her, but also did not do anything else to stop the behavior. I own that I did that, don't feel good about it, and have broken up with the friend. It doesn't seem like anyone's feelings will be helped by me going up to her friends to let her know of her behavior, so I'm not going to.

It would help them be informed. Why do their secrets get broadcasted while the gossip remains safe to continue?

Oh, we all talk a little about other people. Look on this board and how much we report on other people "Dish dish!" Above. I don't see how anyone was hurt and frankly a childless adult can still recognize bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to ghost a longtime close friend from college. We had so many great times and laughs together through college and in our twenties as we lived in the same area. We were bridesmaids for each other and had playdates for our kids. Then she and her husband ended up getting a divorce when he cheated on her and she wouldn't forgive him.

The problem was that my husband and this man have become close friends themselves. They work in the same field, and her now-ex is very prominent and well-connected. So it would be professional suicide for my husband to take her side or even to remain neutral. My former friend couldn't believe that anyone who knew what happened would choose her ex over her, and was furious with me for not making my husband stop associating with her ex.

It got to the point where we just couldn't maintain my friendship with her and our close connection with her ex, so I had to drop her. It's not just that he is too valuable a friend and associate for my husband. It's that she played her own part in his cheating by getting too emotional over things we all face and deal with, like her father passing away in this case just as she finished her first trimester for her second kid. She was a mess emotionally and then let herself go while he just became more successful and magnetic. it was similar to what happened to Jeff Bezos's wife where he had a glow-up and she couldn't keep pace. So he found someone who was much more fun and who would look at him now but wouldn't have back then. When I tried to explain this to my now-former friend, she blew up at me and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. So yes friendships have seasons, and sometimes you have to shed the old one to maximize the new one's benefits.

Omg. You’re horrible.

Yeah i feel like this lil nugget got overlooked in all of that other drama in this thread.

It’s probably the popularity troll.