Husband inviting random people to stay at Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would nip it in the bud immediately. “So sorry, there’s been a miscommunication…” Extend an invite for a holiday dinner, and that’s it. That’s more than enough.

This. Who imposes on people on Christmas?

This is solely on OP's husband. Who lets random unknown people stay at their house without asking their spouse?

[Anonymous]

Better save the champagne for after the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

My word. That is just rude. I cannot imagine. I am glad we are not friends or family - I would be so embarassed at your behavior.

you know what would be even ruder? Allowing the people to come, thinking there was a bed for them, and finding out after arriving they’ll be sleeping on the living room floor. They’ll be thinking “why didn’t someone tell us? I’d have stayed home or gotten a hotel if I’d known.”

This is normal when families fly and spend the holidays with each other. Even friends. I grew up with the dads and boys all sleeping in the family room/living room, the ladies and the small kids get the bedrooms. It was so much fun and so memorable. We all talk about those days and make sure our kids get that special time too. But I guess we are just a loving, easy going, and adaptable/non-fussy family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

Great outcome, OP. I hope you and your family have wonderful holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

Great outcome, OP. I hope you and your family have wonderful holiday.

Same! Ignore all the nay-sayers. I'm so sorry about your mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

Well done. He'll never make that mistake again. If you'd given in, this would have happened year after year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

My word. That is just rude. I cannot imagine. I am glad we are not friends or family - I would be so embarassed at your behavior.

Found the mooch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

My word. That is just rude. I cannot imagine. I am glad we are not friends or family - I would be so embarassed at your behavior.

You can spare yourself the imaginary embarrassment -- OP's spouse messed up and OP fixed it.

I once thought I was invited somewhere, called to confirm when I was arriving, was told that I was not invited after all. It was fine. I know signals get crossed, and I wouldn't want anyone to be gritting their teeth through a visit they didn't want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people missing where OP mentioned she is currently on stress leave and still struggling hard with the grief of the death of her Mom. Battling mental health issues and taking on too much are not a great combination. Her husband was not being supportive when adding on more people when the house was already overflowing.

+ 100

[Anonymous]

Wow OP just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

Great outcome, OP. I hope you and your family have wonderful holiday.

I have to say, I was kind of looking forward to hearing the tales of 12 Polynesians, their feasts, and the limited plumbing.

[Anonymous]

OP- thanks for the well wishes. I’m actually not dreading Christmas now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

My word. That is just rude. I cannot imagine. I am glad we are not friends or family - I would be so embarassed at your behavior.

you know what would be even ruder? Allowing the people to come, thinking there was a bed for them, and finding out after arriving they’ll be sleeping on the living room floor. They’ll be thinking “why didn’t someone tell us? I’d have stayed home or gotten a hotel if I’d known.”

This is normal when families fly and spend the holidays with each other. Even friends. I grew up with the dads and boys all sleeping in the family room/living room, the ladies and the small kids get the bedrooms. It was so much fun and so memorable. We all talk about those days and make sure our kids get that special time too. But I guess we are just a loving, easy going, and adaptable/non-fussy family.

OP- yea that is all fun and memorable when it’s your actual family members. When it’s family friends plus randoms they invite along, not so fun. Guess I’m just not loving and adaptable enough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

Great outcome, OP. I hope you and your family have wonderful holiday.

I have to say, I was kind of looking forward to hearing the tales of 12 Polynesians, their feasts, and the limited plumbing.

OP- I’m sure I can update with some tales after Christmas haha

[Anonymous]

I'm more shocked that grown adults would want to stay in your home knowing it's only 3 bedrooms! You need to talk to DH and let him know to rescind the invite and if he doesn't, you will. And that you're happy to find a hotel for them nearby.