Husband inviting random people to stay at Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a troll, honestly, what with the single female friend of your husband's. Are you expecting us to jump all over that?

Anyway, if you're real, you have a serious husband problem. Where is he thinking of putting these extra people? Who is making the meals? Is he imagining YOU are going to do all that? I would make it so that he has to do most things. When he's not there, you order in - so he remembers how expensive it is.

Tell him if he wants to invite random people, you will get yourself a nice hotel.

OP here- I wish I was a troll… this is real! She’s a family friend more of his sisters, nothing weird going on there. Just mentioned it to give background.

Extra people will sleep on the spare bed, the couch or the living room floor. I guess I’ll be the one making all the meals…

You may not be a troll but you are sounding like a martyr.

[Anonymous]

Oh have a heart! The holidays are a time for family and friends and being together. It will be a memorable and joyous time for all of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- it will be the three of us, his parents, his sister, possibly my sister and possibly his other sister and his brother - plus this family friend and her cousin. I don’t want to pay exorbitant Christmas hotel prices when I can just stay in my own home!

At that point you might as well let the friend stay, you’ll already have tons of people over.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have some sympathy for you. My brother married into a family that does this and it’s so different from how I grew up that it’s hard to wrap my head around. Relatives and random people who are in their 50s-70s will pile into living rooms and on air mattresses rather than get hotel rooms. Then they sort of haphazardly hope that meals happen or they suggest eating out but wait for the host to pick up the bill. In my family of origin, a host would never ever let someone sleep on the floor if they’re older than you and it’s expected that feeding guests is part of hosting.

I avoid my brother’s house during the holidays and his IL’s visits.

Combining families is crazy, by the way. It’s so weird to suddenly be related to and obligated to a bunch of randos. Arranged marriages between families who have known each other for decades start to make sense when you’re looking at a bunch of strangers on your living room floor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh have a heart! The holidays are a time for family and friends and being together. It will be a memorable and joyous time for all of you.

At least one of those adjectives is correct.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh have a heart! The holidays are a time for family and friends and being together. It will be a memorable and joyous time for all of you.

No, hosting that many people for several days is a nightmare and OP has a toddler to take care of too.

OP, I’m sorry you’re in this situation, I would be so upset. Somebody will have to go to to an airbnb and your husband should be the one letting them know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

Oh that's rich. OP at a hotel with her kid Christmas morning, the randos in the beautifully decorated home and they don't even celebrate Christmas...

[Anonymous]

Oh no you don’t need to cook for all of those people. If they were enterprising enough to snag free lodging they can figure out meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh have a heart! The holidays are a time for family and friends and being together. It will be a memorable and joyous time for all of you.

OP- I do have a heart. Atm it’s kind of broken because my mother just died and I didn’t spend her last Christmas in 2022 with her. Currently on stress leave from work and in therapy.

I’m sure it will be a memorable and joyous Christmas for everyone else while I’m busy in the kitchen all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- it will be the three of us, his parents, his sister, possibly my sister and possibly his other sister and his brother - plus this family friend and her cousin. I don’t want to pay exorbitant Christmas hotel prices when I can just stay in my own home!

I’m just still so confused with the logistics of where you are even planning to put these invited guests if they do all show up? I’m assuming MIL/FIL will take the guest room and you’ll move toddler to your room to free up the 3rd bedroom (although do you even have an adult sized bed in there, much less one that can accommodate 2 people ?). Even assuming you can somehow accommodate two adults in there (maybe your DHs 2 sisters sharing a bed?) that still leaves three grown and unrelated adults (in this scenario your sister, DHs Brother and the family friend) sleeping in your living room??? At that point I can almost see your DH’s logic of why not invite the friend’s cousin- you’re already basically running a hostel.

Also given that your DH is responsible for inviting of the 7 the 8 invited guests and the one with the more the merrier attitude why on earth wouldn’t you demand he at bare minimum do 50% of the related necessary cooking/cleaning etc (and even that is generous).

[Anonymous]

How many bathrooms do you have? To be honest, I would worry about the bathroom logistics the most. Depending on where they are from and how they are built, 7 or 8 Polynesians feasting and then hitting one bathroom could put serious stress on the plumbing.

[Anonymous]

You have 3 bedrooms, a living room- that’s more than enough room for 9-12 people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

Everyone will be upset at you. You should have not gone back on what your husband told them. Buy an extra air mattress and call it a day. This isn’t worth ruining Christmas over.