Husband inviting random people to stay at Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

OP is being rude and ungracious. Full stop

OP's husband is a moron. Full stop. OP was generous to invite her family, DH's family, and the family friend. OP's husband is a jerk for saying OK to the friend bringing additional randoms without checking and leaving his wife to be the bad guy.

Meh. The husband is used to these type of family gatherings. Some cultures are fine with cramming in one home to celebrate and be together. Other people like OP like to be alone and not with family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

OP is being rude and ungracious. Full stop

OP's husband is a moron. Full stop. OP was generous to invite her family, DH's family, and the family friend. OP's husband is a jerk for saying OK to the friend bringing additional randoms without checking and leaving his wife to be the bad guy.

Meh. The husband is used to these type of family gatherings. Some cultures are fine with cramming in one home to celebrate and be together. Other people like OP like to be alone and not with family.

That’s not “meh”. There is nothing “meh” about that. That is dismissive. There is a fundamental difference between OP and her DH.

Separately, OP, the people who are telling you you’re rude are trolling you. Please ignore. I’m glad you were able to draw a boundary and tell some people there isn’t room for them. It’s too bad you had to be the one to do that and not your DH. Good for you regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

OP is being rude and ungracious. Full stop

OP's husband is a moron. Full stop. OP was generous to invite her family, DH's family, and the family friend. OP's husband is a jerk for saying OK to the friend bringing additional randoms without checking and leaving his wife to be the bad guy.

Meh. The husband is used to these type of family gatherings. Some cultures are fine with cramming in one home to celebrate and be together. Other people like OP like to be alone and not with family.

OP literally invited both families to her home.

[Anonymous]

OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh have a heart! The holidays are a time for family and friends and being together. It will be a memorable and joyous time for all of you.

Gag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 bedrooms, a living room- that’s more than enough room for 9-12 people.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

Everyone will be upset at you. You should have not gone back on what your husband told them. Buy an extra air mattress and call it a day. This isn’t worth ruining Christmas over.

No ma’am. Her husband had zero right to invite a houseful of randos without asking her. BZZT! Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your husband embraces the spirit of Christmas. Wasn’t there a story about an inn being too crowded?

Oh, grow up.

[Anonymous]

Since your husband already told his friend that she + her family are welcome (plus they already booked their ticket) then just for now, I would not uninvite them since that wouldn’t feel right.

However you can tell them that space will be VERY tight & that it may be better for them to get a hotel or AirBnB.
Then they can make a decision where they would like to stay based on this.

If they do decide to stay at your home - let your husband figure everything out.
I.e., sleeping arrangements, cooking duties, etc.

That would only be fair given the fact that he was the one who extended the invitation.

Afterward have a talk w/him and stress to him that in the future > he will need to discuss w/you anyone he invites into your home.

I guess for now just go with the flow and remind yourself…..
“The More The Merrier…..‼️….”

Sorry that you have to deal w/all of this but hope everything turns out okay in the end.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

-1

Not trying to be snarky OP, but I think it was rude to even politely tell your husband’s friend and randos that they cannot stay. Sure your husband screwed up but that isn’t his friend’s fault. Your husband should not have put you in the position of having to be the bad cop, but in the spirit of the holiday season you should of just let it go this year.

[Anonymous]

We aren’t talking about letting someone sit at a lunch table. Is it rude if DH to go back on his offer? Yeah sure. But also it’s okay! An honest apology for the mixup is what’s appropriate not days of bending over backward for “courtesy.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

My word. That is just rude. I cannot imagine. I am glad we are not friends or family - I would be so embarassed at your behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

My word. That is just rude. I cannot imagine. I am glad we are not friends or family - I would be so embarassed at your behavior.

you know what would be even ruder? Allowing the people to come, thinking there was a bed for them, and finding out after arriving they’ll be sleeping on the living room floor. They’ll be thinking “why didn’t someone tell us? I’d have stayed home or gotten a hotel if I’d known.”

[Anonymous]

Are people missing where OP mentioned she is currently on stress leave and still struggling hard with the grief of the death of her Mom. Battling mental health issues and taking on too much are not a great combination. Her husband was not being supportive when adding on more people when the house was already overflowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- family friend plus randoms have been politely told they cannot stay and have decided not to visit for Christmas. DH has been briefed that he is never to visitors again without my approval.
DH will be doing most of the cooking on the outdoor grill at Christmas and everything else I will get catered. Planning to open the Veuve by 10am.

Didn't they claim they had bought tickets?

Hope you have a peaceful holiday, OP.

Sorry about your mom.