Husband inviting random people to stay at Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- it will be the three of us, his parents, his sister, possibly my sister and possibly his other sister and his brother - plus this family friend and her cousin. I don’t want to pay exorbitant Christmas hotel prices when I can just stay in my own home!

So the cousin and friend your husband invited already booked tickets? But you don’t know if several other people are coming yet? Why not tell those that don’t have definite plans that your house is full and they’ll need to book a hotel? Why exclude the person that already made plans rather than telling the “possibly people” to go elsewhere? You don’t make any sense.

This. It’s hard to imagine that one extra person is throwing you this far off balance. And no reason you have to cook for everyone. Just plan some times you’re all eating together and make simple meals. For the rest buy things they can make themselves l, especially for breakfast and lunch. Also buy paper products to reduce dishes. Keep your bedroom off limits to guests so you have a place to escape to.

I think it’s pretty crappy to invite someone and then after they book tickets to uninvited them. Even if they sleep in an air bnb they’re still going to be at your house from morning until night so it’s not like a big reprieve.

In the OP she said it was their family plus this family friend. Then the friend asked to bring her sister and cousin, which is incredibly rude. So this friend was already the one extra person and now it's three extra. The part about already booking tickets could very well be to guilt OP. I think these extra guests knew they were pushing their luck for a free place. OP stated she has never met them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

I see you've found your backbone, and discovered it was solid! Of course someone's upset. As long as it's not you, FINE. And you can channel everyone else's anger in the general direction of your husband, who deserves the "My Wife Will Figure It Out Because I Can't Say No" trophy. It may take a few more wins until he understands that's not something he wants to win.

[Anonymous]

Hope it works out. But please sit with your husband and make a plan for meals, grocery and supply shopping, clean up and activities to get the people out of your house during the day. If you are in a house, you might think of buying a fire pit to encourage some outdoor time, buy a good grill and do some burgers, chicken, baked potatoes, etc. Remember you will need more toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent and cleaning supplies too.

[Anonymous]

Your husband said yes already you should at least pretend to be a cohesive family and not change what he told them. Tell the people that haven’t confirmed yet that your inn is full if the amount of people truly bothers you.

[Anonymous]

I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you have to stop this immediately. If they end up with you, husband has to tell them no. more. It's too much. My DH would do this and we were all born in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

It's 1000 people and she lives in a small 3 bedroom

[Anonymous]

OP: Do as little as possible. Can you twist your ankle at some point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would nip it in the bud immediately. “So sorry, there’s been a miscommunication…” Extend an invite for a holiday dinner, and that’s it. That’s more than enough.

This.

A three-bedroom house? So one bedroom is yours and DH'S?? That leaves two BR for your family, his family AND friend. You have zero room for two more people. You can love hosting a crowded house but this sounds like too much. Be crystal clear immediately with friend that DH just did not realize the logistics and kindly but wrongly said yes.

It's tough to rescind an invitation but if this is a truly good friend, she should understand.

And by the way, friend was out of line to ask to bring other people, when your initial invitation was for just her. Asking to bring two others is way outside polite guest behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

OP is being rude and ungracious. Full stop

[Anonymous]

To the people who thinks OP is being rude: try cooking lunch and dinner and clean up and make beds possibly or atleast tidy up bedding, bathroom for 12 people, with a toddler in tow.
It will drive you crazy in one day!!!!

OP
I would not cook anything more than a one dish for dinner…then on Xmas day give everyone a task to do at helping for the big meal.
Other days lunch times, let them be on their own and leave sandwich stuff out on table.
You simply do not have to cook everything for them no matter how “it looks” .Thats way too many people.
Yes 12 is a lot.

[Anonymous]

The one dish dinner would be for everyday other than Xmas day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

OP is being rude and ungracious. Full stop

Yeah, you're just a troll at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m aghast that you are telling guests not to come and stay at your home. What happened to hospitality? This is incredulous.

What happened to basic politeness? The friend was rude and entitled to ask to bring others.

OP is being rude and ungracious. Full stop

OP's husband is a moron. Full stop. OP was generous to invite her family, DH's family, and the family friend. OP's husband is a jerk for saying OK to the friend bringing additional randoms without checking and leaving his wife to be the bad guy.