Husband inviting random people to stay at Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- it will be the three of us, his parents, his sister, possibly my sister and possibly his other sister and his brother - plus this family friend and her cousin. I don’t want to pay exorbitant Christmas hotel prices when I can just stay in my own home!

So the cousin and friend your husband invited already booked tickets? But you don’t know if several other people are coming yet? Why not tell those that don’t have definite plans that your house is full and they’ll need to book a hotel? Why exclude the person that already made plans rather than telling the “possibly people” to go elsewhere? You don’t make any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

Everyone will be upset at you. You should have not gone back on what your husband told them. Buy an extra air mattress and call it a day. This isn’t worth ruining Christmas over.

It sounds like Christmas is already ruined. She gets to play maid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- it will be the three of us, his parents, his sister, possibly my sister and possibly his other sister and his brother - plus this family friend and her cousin. I don’t want to pay exorbitant Christmas hotel prices when I can just stay in my own home!

So the cousin and friend your husband invited already booked tickets? But you don’t know if several other people are coming yet? Why not tell those that don’t have definite plans that your house is full and they’ll need to book a hotel? Why exclude the person that already made plans rather than telling the “possibly people” to go elsewhere? You don’t make any sense.

This. It’s hard to imagine that one extra person is throwing you this far off balance. And no reason you have to cook for everyone. Just plan some times you’re all eating together and make simple meals. For the rest buy things they can make themselves l, especially for breakfast and lunch. Also buy paper products to reduce dishes. Keep your bedroom off limits to guests so you have a place to escape to.

I think it’s pretty crappy to invite someone and then after they book tickets to uninvited them. Even if they sleep in an air bnb they’re still going to be at your house from morning until night so it’s not like a big reprieve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a troll, honestly, what with the single female friend of your husband's. Are you expecting us to jump all over that?

Anyway, if you're real, you have a serious husband problem. Where is he thinking of putting these extra people? Who is making the meals? Is he imagining YOU are going to do all that? I would make it so that he has to do most things. When he's not there, you order in - so he remembers how expensive it is.

Tell him if he wants to invite random people, you will get yourself a nice hotel.

OP here- I wish I was a troll… this is real! She’s a family friend more of his sisters, nothing weird going on there. Just mentioned it to give background.

Extra people will sleep on the spare bed, the couch or the living room floor. I guess I’ll be the one making all the meals…

Don’t be dramatic. It’s like 12 people and you act like you’re going to have to cook for an army. Premade lasagna, sandwiches for lunch, pizza, casseroles, burgers, Chinese food, go out to dinner, breakfast have bagels, fruit, eggs, cereal, cream cheese available people can figure it out. Just stock the freezer and fridge they’re adults they can make something.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your husband embraces the spirit of Christmas. Wasn’t there a story about an inn being too crowded?

[Anonymous]

Can you put a camper van in the front yard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your husband embraces the spirit of Christmas. Wasn’t there a story about an inn being too crowded?

Throw grandma and grandpa in the barn. Probably been awhile since they rolled in the hay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

Team OP. That is way too many people to host especially when OP has to care for a toddler. OP, I suggest you not be a martyr when it comes to food. Sit down with your husband and make a plan. Make one nice Christmas meal and do really simple meals or go out for the others.

We host family a lot at our house and our general rule is that breakfast and lunch are “on your own” and we plan out dinners (and for longer visits, different family members will “host” a dinner night at our house and cook).

[Anonymous]

I try to get ahead of the meal stuff by planning it out ahead of time. Okay folks here’s the plan, we’ll order pizza night 1, night 2 we’ll cook simple meal and person X will be in charge of salad, person Y make dessert, etc, and for Xmas we’ll do catering from WF. I estimate the cost will be about $— per person, so if person Z and ZZ can handle the grocery shopping on day 2, we’ll square it up on Venmo. Let me know if anyone has any dietary restrictions.

Also tell Dh you’re booking a house cleaner to come the day they all leave.

Good luck! This sounds joyous to me because we don’t have any kind of extended family like this, but I know I would be a huge stress ball if I was hosting!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

Everyone will be upset at you. You should have not gone back on what your husband told them. Buy an extra air mattress and call it a day. This isn’t worth ruining Christmas over.

It's not worth ruining OP's Christmas, you got that right.

[Anonymous]

YTA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a few guesses where your husband might be from, but still, this is just too much! Does he celebrate Xmas? Parents stay at your house, but everyone else must rent an airbnb. I mean, really! It is just too much.

OP here- he’s Polynesian. They’re all Christians and celebrate Christmas.

I’ve contacted family friend and told her that her cousin can’t stay because it will be too crowded. She said she will look at air bnbs, don’t think she is too happy about it. It’s difficult because her cousin had already booked a flight to our city. I guess in this situation someone is going to end up being upset.

Everyone will be upset at you. You should have not gone back on what your husband told them. Buy an extra air mattress and call it a day. This isn’t worth ruining Christmas over.

It sounds like Christmas is already ruined. She gets to play maid.

I see OP’s point and why she’s stressed. But also - I come from a culture like this. All the women will help in most any way. You just need to have ingredients on hand. It isn’t as stressful as hosting in a traditionally American way. Just saying, although like I said, I get why you’re stressed and don’t want this for Christmas. I also would feel the same after marrying outside the culture and getting used to being less communal in that way.

[Anonymous]

You already fully booked up your house with a nightmarish amount of people. At this point, who cares how many randos show up? It was already going to be a shitshow.

Personally, I wouldn’t cook a thing. Buy a bunch of milk and cereal for breakfast and order grocery store Christmas dinner and get fast food for every other meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 bedrooms, a living room- that’s more than enough room for 9-12 people.

I have 7 bathrooms and it is not enough for 12 people! Who wants to share a bathroom?

[Anonymous]

I would suck it up for this year, but not make it super comfortable. Air mattresses for extra guests, put the toddler in your room with you.

The following year, prep family in advance by telling them “last year did not work, we can only host x people and child needs to sleep in her own room”