DD only kid in her friend group not invited

[Anonymous]

This happened to my daughter this weekend and according to the host parent it was her mistake. She forgot to send me the invitation. Fortunately, my daughter didn’t really seem to care. My other daughter would have been devastated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend "group" does not have definite members. Imo there is no group. Every single girl has other friends you're just choosing not to acknowledge.

Yes this is so true. All these parents posting about their kids’ “friend groups” are nutty.

Many kids eat lunch with the same group every day. For many that is their "friend group." Heck, at some schools they require you to pick your table and stick with it. Thankfully my kids are no longer at that school, but I don't know how much of an outlier it is.

Says who?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the other girls don’t stick up for the one girl, it’s time to change friend groups

This, left out happens. If OP's DD was a core friend, the group out stick up for her. Her still being excluded means she isn't core.

Core friend mom has joined the group chat.

It’s so cringy, isn’t it?

Let me guess that she was momengineering this grouping to her liking since 1st grade.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teen girl politics can be so terrible. This happened to me in high school. I was so hurt by it.

My story: my best friend from grade school moved back home and I brought her into my friend group. My two best friends from high school decided that she was "weird" and started saying mean things about her. I stood up for her and told them to knock it off. They then decided to teach me a lesson by excluding me and including her. They invited her and several of our other friends on a ski trip over Christmas break and left me at home. (My grade school BFF did NOT stand up for me.)

I hope you can look back and know you did the right thing. I feel terrible for teenage you though.

Did she? All of those girls don’t sound like people worth giving up anything for.

Your best friends was really mean not to stand up for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s cringey what pp sait but also probably true.

I have two kids - 8th and 10th. The 8th grader has a tight small group and leaving out one kid would be mean and deliberate.

My 10th grader is popular and has so many circles of friends, with a lot of overlap. She has her right inner circle but I could totally see one of the outer circle kids getting missed. Parents of less social kids may not realize they aren’t inner circle….they just see that most of their kids socializing is with certain kids, but that doesn’t always mean that is their close friend, it’s just a kid like mine who invites a lot.

My 10th grader has a lot of annoying qualities and can be very dramatic but one of her best qualities is that she’s very inclusive and “more the merrier”. She recently had a 16th birthday party that grew very large and her list of people who couldn’t come was very short and very specific (ex boyfriend, 2 former friends who screwed her over, and one kinda friend who drinks too much at parties). Anyone who didn’t come but is her friend or sorta friend just didn’t ask her and she might have just assumed they were coming or knew. Trust me, after Saturday I wish she was a little less welcoming. So maybe there wasn’t a formal invite and it’s not some mean girls plot.

Oh gosh you need to get your own life. Truly.

Huh? It’s pretty normal for kids to know this stuff about their kids — especially since the parents are facilitating the parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s cringey what pp sait but also probably true.

I have two kids - 8th and 10th. The 8th grader has a tight small group and leaving out one kid would be mean and deliberate.

My 10th grader is popular and has so many circles of friends, with a lot of overlap. She has her right inner circle but I could totally see one of the outer circle kids getting missed. Parents of less social kids may not realize they aren’t inner circle….they just see that most of their kids socializing is with certain kids, but that doesn’t always mean that is their close friend, it’s just a kid like mine who invites a lot.

My 10th grader has a lot of annoying qualities and can be very dramatic but one of her best qualities is that she’s very inclusive and “more the merrier”. She recently had a 16th birthday party that grew very large and her list of people who couldn’t come was very short and very specific (ex boyfriend, 2 former friends who screwed her over, and one kinda friend who drinks too much at parties). Anyone who didn’t come but is her friend or sorta friend just didn’t ask her and she might have just assumed they were coming or knew. Trust me, after Saturday I wish she was a little less welcoming. So maybe there wasn’t a formal invite and it’s not some mean girls plot.

You are still that involved in your 8th and 10th graders friend groups? Weird.

Who said I was involved? I mean other than my kids carry on conversations with me and all that. Sorry yours don’t talk to you about their relationships and lives?

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many kids will feel bad Nov 1 not included in last min trick or treating. One mom invited 4 boys to her house. Oddly one boy was left out. I’m not the one inviting so I am not the one leaving the boy out. One of the boy had tentative plans with another friend who isn’t exactly friends with the group but he is bringing that friend. These 5-6 boys together are in several other friend groups. I can think of several boys who could have been invited but were not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s cringey what pp sait but also probably true.

I have two kids - 8th and 10th. The 8th grader has a tight small group and leaving out one kid would be mean and deliberate.

My 10th grader is popular and has so many circles of friends, with a lot of overlap. She has her right inner circle but I could totally see one of the outer circle kids getting missed. Parents of less social kids may not realize they aren’t inner circle….they just see that most of their kids socializing is with certain kids, but that doesn’t always mean that is their close friend, it’s just a kid like mine who invites a lot.

My 10th grader has a lot of annoying qualities and can be very dramatic but one of her best qualities is that she’s very inclusive and “more the merrier”. She recently had a 16th birthday party that grew very large and her list of people who couldn’t come was very short and very specific (ex boyfriend, 2 former friends who screwed her over, and one kinda friend who drinks too much at parties). Anyone who didn’t come but is her friend or sorta friend just didn’t ask her and she might have just assumed they were coming or knew. Trust me, after Saturday I wish she was a little less welcoming. So maybe there wasn’t a formal invite and it’s not some mean girls plot.

You are still that involved in your 8th and 10th graders friend groups? Weird.

Who said I was involved? I mean other than my kids carry on conversations with me and all that. Sorry yours don’t talk to you about their relationships and lives?

There’s no need to apologize. I have an 8th and 10th grader as well. Girls are talkative and often share their feelings, school gossip, worries with their mothers. I often drive my eldest and her friends, and they seem to forget I’m even there. I hear everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s cringey what pp sait but also probably true.

I have two kids - 8th and 10th. The 8th grader has a tight small group and leaving out one kid would be mean and deliberate.

My 10th grader is popular and has so many circles of friends, with a lot of overlap. She has her right inner circle but I could totally see one of the outer circle kids getting missed. Parents of less social kids may not realize they aren’t inner circle….they just see that most of their kids socializing is with certain kids, but that doesn’t always mean that is their close friend, it’s just a kid like mine who invites a lot.

My 10th grader has a lot of annoying qualities and can be very dramatic but one of her best qualities is that she’s very inclusive and “more the merrier”. She recently had a 16th birthday party that grew very large and her list of people who couldn’t come was very short and very specific (ex boyfriend, 2 former friends who screwed her over, and one kinda friend who drinks too much at parties). Anyone who didn’t come but is her friend or sorta friend just didn’t ask her and she might have just assumed they were coming or knew. Trust me, after Saturday I wish she was a little less welcoming. So maybe there wasn’t a formal invite and it’s not some mean girls plot.

You are still that involved in your 8th and 10th graders friend groups? Weird.

Who said I was involved? I mean other than my kids carry on conversations with me and all that. Sorry yours don’t talk to you about their relationships and lives?

There’s no need to apologize. I have an 8th and 10th grader as well. Girls are talkative and often share their feelings, school gossip, worries with their mothers. I often drive my eldest and her friends, and they seem to forget I’m even there. I hear everything.

That is why I always offer to drive. I learn all the tea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s cringey what pp sait but also probably true.

I have two kids - 8th and 10th. The 8th grader has a tight small group and leaving out one kid would be mean and deliberate.

My 10th grader is popular and has so many circles of friends, with a lot of overlap. She has her right inner circle but I could totally see one of the outer circle kids getting missed. Parents of less social kids may not realize they aren’t inner circle….they just see that most of their kids socializing is with certain kids, but that doesn’t always mean that is their close friend, it’s just a kid like mine who invites a lot.

My 10th grader has a lot of annoying qualities and can be very dramatic but one of her best qualities is that she’s very inclusive and “more the merrier”. She recently had a 16th birthday party that grew very large and her list of people who couldn’t come was very short and very specific (ex boyfriend, 2 former friends who screwed her over, and one kinda friend who drinks too much at parties). Anyone who didn’t come but is her friend or sorta friend just didn’t ask her and she might have just assumed they were coming or knew. Trust me, after Saturday I wish she was a little less welcoming. So maybe there wasn’t a formal invite and it’s not some mean girls plot.

You are still that involved in your 8th and 10th graders friend groups? Weird.

Who said I was involved? I mean other than my kids carry on conversations with me and all that. Sorry yours don’t talk to you about their relationships and lives?

There’s no need to apologize. I have an 8th and 10th grader as well. Girls are talkative and often share their feelings, school gossip, worries with their mothers. I often drive my eldest and her friends, and they seem to forget I’m even there. I hear everything.

That is why I always offer to drive. I learn all the tea

+1. I just sit and listen and learn so much - it’s sort of amazing what they’ll talk about when you don’t say a thing.

[Anonymous]

My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.

Ugh that does suck. Sry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the other girls don’t stick up for the one girl, it’s time to change friend groups

This, left out happens. If OP's DD was a core friend, the group out stick up for her. Her still being excluded means she isn't core.

Core friend mom has joined the group chat.

More likely the barely hanging onto the popular crowd mom. These girls are always looking to exclude, hoping it makes them look cooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s cringey what pp sait but also probably true.

I have two kids - 8th and 10th. The 8th grader has a tight small group and leaving out one kid would be mean and deliberate.

My 10th grader is popular and has so many circles of friends, with a lot of overlap. She has her right inner circle but I could totally see one of the outer circle kids getting missed. Parents of less social kids may not realize they aren’t inner circle….they just see that most of their kids socializing is with certain kids, but that doesn’t always mean that is their close friend, it’s just a kid like mine who invites a lot.

My 10th grader has a lot of annoying qualities and can be very dramatic but one of her best qualities is that she’s very inclusive and “more the merrier”. She recently had a 16th birthday party that grew very large and her list of people who couldn’t come was very short and very specific (ex boyfriend, 2 former friends who screwed her over, and one kinda friend who drinks too much at parties). Anyone who didn’t come but is her friend or sorta friend just didn’t ask her and she might have just assumed they were coming or knew. Trust me, after Saturday I wish she was a little less welcoming. So maybe there wasn’t a formal invite and it’s not some mean girls plot.

You are still that involved in your 8th and 10th graders friend groups? Weird.

Who said I was involved? I mean other than my kids carry on conversations with me and all that. Sorry yours don’t talk to you about their relationships and lives?

There’s no need to apologize. I have an 8th and 10th grader as well. Girls are talkative and often share their feelings, school gossip, worries with their mothers. I often drive my eldest and her friends, and they seem to forget I’m even there. I hear everything.

Thank you!!
Yes the car gossip is pretty thorough…Lol. I often drive kids home because I’m a natural night owl and if I’m up, no sense having some parent woken up to drive a kid home late on a Friday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.

I am sorry this happened to your daughter to her face.

The car size is real though. I often take the number of kids I can fit. I tell my kid(s) how many friends they can bring. I wonder how many times someone may have felt bad simply because of the number of seats I have in my car.