DD only kid in her friend group not invited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s part of growing up. Maybe they are not really her friends. Find a wider friend group or different friends. It’s painful, but life.

OP here. Yes she has come to that conclusion. It has been a tough week for her. She had to listen to how great the party was on Monday by some "friends" that are not too self aware. The friend who had the party is one that I've been asked to give rides to and include in a number of things by her mom. I am staying out of it, but I will no longer drive her anywhere in the future. DD is chin up, but she is happy it's Friday.

My DD is going through something similar. Friends that she introduced have been hanging out regularly and not including her. It's extremely painful. One of the other kids was new to the area and my DD was the first to accept her and include her and introduce her to these other girls.

I'll never make an accommodation for them or their families again. (And yes, they asked as recently as this week).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.

What would have been the preferable alternative?

Not pp but -
Go to a place within walking distance.
Ask another parent to drive and split up into two cars.
Trick or treat until 8:30 or 9 then everyone goes to their own home since it's a school night for most kids.
Hosting girl could have just a couple friends over so it's just not one single girl left out. Other girls could make their own plans or just go home without feeling like they are the only ones not invited

The problem here is you’re thinking like an adult - not a teen/tween. There is not one kid on this planet that would say “you know what, let’s just all go home so no one feels left out.”

DP - maybe not go home, but there are absolutely kids who pay attention to these issues and don't want people to be left out. These kids help the others find a way to include people.

PP, I am so sorry that happened to your daughter.

Some people are too sensitive. I see middle aged women who still get upset about this. I am friends with this group of women where sometimes smaller groups get together. One woman gets jealous and called out people on not including her. We are in our mid forties. Same group there is another woman who has to feel like she is on top of the friend group or she also gets jealous and mad. It is really ridiculous.

My kids have many friends. Some are closer than others. Sometimes they are included. Other times they are not. We do our fair share of hosting and planning. Sometimes it is a large group. Sometimes it is one person. This is for both kids AND my adult friends.

Agree. I’m not down with 100% inclusivity 100% of the time.

If you're inviting all but one or 2 people from a group, whether your 4 or 40 yo, you're an ahold. Sorry, you are. UNLESS there is a VERY good reason why someone would not want to or shouldn't be invited (like, the subject-matter of the outing would be contrary to a core belief or something).

DP - the bolded. And I'm not sorry. I've learned that anyone who throws out the "some people are too sensitive" line is trying to justify their own poor behavior. Middle-aged women still get upset about being excluded because they're human beings. We are hard-wired to be hurt by social exclusion. People can deny that all they want; it doesn't mean they're right.

I’m the one who said people are too sensitive. I have a lot of friends. DH has a lot of friends. Our 3 kids all have a lot of friends. I am sure we are not invited to everything but we all get invited to social events.

I do not feel bad for having lunch with a friend at Tyson’s and then that friend inviting our family only to dinner because her son likes my sons. I can’t invite all 5 moms and families all the time. When our kids were younger, we used to do family gatherings. Our kids all have different interests and we are all busy.

Your examples aren't what people are talking about. We're talking about, e.g., inviting four of five families, or four of five friends. Or inviting eight kids over for a movie and then having only three sleep over. Those are patently different than pairings within larger groups that naturally develop over time.

The women I am thinking about get upset if they hear that we get together without them.

Maybe it is because we always have somewhere to go (usually to pick up a kid from sports or to get to a game or other party) but I don’t care if people made plans without me or us after another plan. I guess we aren’t left out or I may be the one to suggest to go eat and anyone who wants to come can just come.

Even if your dance card runneth over, consider the fact that it doesn’t for others and/or you’re never in the position of being the ONE person/family left out of a larger group. I’ve been in friend groups enough to know that spontaneous gatherings happen. Every time, someone would say, hey, let’s see if [one family left out] can make it, too. Even if they can’t, the thought is there.

Again, this thread is about a kid who is the only one in her friend group not invited. That’s an utterly shitty thing to do to anyone, but particularly a tween/teen, since social exclusion feels like death to them.

This. No one is saying that your kid has to befriend someone not in their group. We're talking about excluding someone already in a group. It's a really crappy thing to do whether you're a kid or an adult.

Some friends planned a dinner out for my birthday one year. They drew up a guest list that included someone I don't like. I approved the guest list because the alternative was to leave out one person in this friend group. I also never told anyone that I don't like her because that's just stirring up drama. I exchange pleasantries and sometimes a brief conversation with her then move on.

I have to wonder about these parents who support their kid leaving out 1-2 people in the group just because they don't like them. I'm female and have three girls. The girls who pull this mean girl exclusion crap almost always have the tables turn on them eventually. It's constant drama and having to find new friends.

Pp here. I am a 45yo woman in a friend group where I stopped liking one of the friends. I have not liked her for almost five years and stuck inviting her because of this friend group I am stuck in. This year I am considering having a Friendsgiving and not inviting her. I really don’t want her in my house. I am not mean. I just don’t like this woman. I am not a tween/teen with mean girl behavior. I don’t want this woman in my house whether I am inviting 3 families or 20.

I have no idea why OP’s daughter was not included. I don’t know how big this party was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.

What would have been the preferable alternative?

Not pp but -
Go to a place within walking distance.
Ask another parent to drive and split up into two cars.
Trick or treat until 8:30 or 9 then everyone goes to their own home since it's a school night for most kids.
Hosting girl could have just a couple friends over so it's just not one single girl left out. Other girls could make their own plans or just go home without feeling like they are the only ones not invited

The problem here is you’re thinking like an adult - not a teen/tween. There is not one kid on this planet that would say “you know what, let’s just all go home so no one feels left out.”

DP - maybe not go home, but there are absolutely kids who pay attention to these issues and don't want people to be left out. These kids help the others find a way to include people.

PP, I am so sorry that happened to your daughter.

Some people are too sensitive. I see middle aged women who still get upset about this. I am friends with this group of women where sometimes smaller groups get together. One woman gets jealous and called out people on not including her. We are in our mid forties. Same group there is another woman who has to feel like she is on top of the friend group or she also gets jealous and mad. It is really ridiculous.

My kids have many friends. Some are closer than others. Sometimes they are included. Other times they are not. We do our fair share of hosting and planning. Sometimes it is a large group. Sometimes it is one person. This is for both kids AND my adult friends.

Agree. I’m not down with 100% inclusivity 100% of the time.

If you're inviting all but one or 2 people from a group, whether your 4 or 40 yo, you're an ahold. Sorry, you are. UNLESS there is a VERY good reason why someone would not want to or shouldn't be invited (like, the subject-matter of the outing would be contrary to a core belief or something).

DP - the bolded. And I'm not sorry. I've learned that anyone who throws out the "some people are too sensitive" line is trying to justify their own poor behavior. Middle-aged women still get upset about being excluded because they're human beings. We are hard-wired to be hurt by social exclusion. People can deny that all they want; it doesn't mean they're right.

I’m the one who said people are too sensitive. I have a lot of friends. DH has a lot of friends. Our 3 kids all have a lot of friends. I am sure we are not invited to everything but we all get invited to social events.

I do not feel bad for having lunch with a friend at Tyson’s and then that friend inviting our family only to dinner because her son likes my sons. I can’t invite all 5 moms and families all the time. When our kids were younger, we used to do family gatherings. Our kids all have different interests and we are all busy.

Your examples aren't what people are talking about. We're talking about, e.g., inviting four of five families, or four of five friends. Or inviting eight kids over for a movie and then having only three sleep over. Those are patently different than pairings within larger groups that naturally develop over time.

The women I am thinking about get upset if they hear that we get together without them.

Maybe it is because we always have somewhere to go (usually to pick up a kid from sports or to get to a game or other party) but I don’t care if people made plans without me or us after another plan. I guess we aren’t left out or I may be the one to suggest to go eat and anyone who wants to come can just come.

Even if your dance card runneth over, consider the fact that it doesn’t for others and/or you’re never in the position of being the ONE person/family left out of a larger group. I’ve been in friend groups enough to know that spontaneous gatherings happen. Every time, someone would say, hey, let’s see if [one family left out] can make it, too. Even if they can’t, the thought is there.

Again, this thread is about a kid who is the only one in her friend group not invited. That’s an utterly shitty thing to do to anyone, but particularly a tween/teen, since social exclusion feels like death to them.

This. No one is saying that your kid has to befriend someone not in their group. We're talking about excluding someone already in a group. It's a really crappy thing to do whether you're a kid or an adult.

Some friends planned a dinner out for my birthday one year. They drew up a guest list that included someone I don't like. I approved the guest list because the alternative was to leave out one person in this friend group. I also never told anyone that I don't like her because that's just stirring up drama. I exchange pleasantries and sometimes a brief conversation with her then move on.

I have to wonder about these parents who support their kid leaving out 1-2 people in the group just because they don't like them. I'm female and have three girls. The girls who pull this mean girl exclusion crap almost always have the tables turn on them eventually. It's constant drama and having to find new friends.

Pp here. I am a 45yo woman in a friend group where I stopped liking one of the friends. I have not liked her for almost five years and stuck inviting her because of this friend group I am stuck in. This year I am considering having a Friendsgiving and not inviting her. I really don’t want her in my house. I am not mean. I just don’t like this woman. I am not a tween/teen with mean girl behavior. I don’t want this woman in my house whether I am inviting 3 families or 20.

I have no idea why OP’s daughter was not included. I don’t know how big this party was.

For me, whether I think YTA depends on the reason. Just don't like and now, all of a sudden, you decide to make a break and leave her out? Yeah, sorry. You're a sh--- stirring drama queen who is a) in fact mean and b) just starting trouble with the group where there is none.

If she did something to you . . . that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

High school is the blink of an eye. College looms larger and larger. This too shall pass and then you're off to bigger and better friends. High school is to be endured, not embraced. Onward and upward, and it can't happen soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd was ditched by her group tonight. One of the girls who she knows but isn’t close to invited all the other girls to her house after tot. There wasn’t enough room in their cars so the one friend looked at my dd and said “you’re headed home now, right?” Teen girls suck. My dd is so upset she doesn’t want to face these girls at school tomorrow.

What would have been the preferable alternative?

Not pp but -
Go to a place within walking distance.
Ask another parent to drive and split up into two cars.
Trick or treat until 8:30 or 9 then everyone goes to their own home since it's a school night for most kids.
Hosting girl could have just a couple friends over so it's just not one single girl left out. Other girls could make their own plans or just go home without feeling like they are the only ones not invited

The problem here is you’re thinking like an adult - not a teen/tween. There is not one kid on this planet that would say “you know what, let’s just all go home so no one feels left out.”

DP - maybe not go home, but there are absolutely kids who pay attention to these issues and don't want people to be left out. These kids help the others find a way to include people.

PP, I am so sorry that happened to your daughter.

Some people are too sensitive. I see middle aged women who still get upset about this. I am friends with this group of women where sometimes smaller groups get together. One woman gets jealous and called out people on not including her. We are in our mid forties. Same group there is another woman who has to feel like she is on top of the friend group or she also gets jealous and mad. It is really ridiculous.

My kids have many friends. Some are closer than others. Sometimes they are included. Other times they are not. We do our fair share of hosting and planning. Sometimes it is a large group. Sometimes it is one person. This is for both kids AND my adult friends.

Agree. I’m not down with 100% inclusivity 100% of the time.

If you're inviting all but one or 2 people from a group, whether your 4 or 40 yo, you're an ahold. Sorry, you are. UNLESS there is a VERY good reason why someone would not want to or shouldn't be invited (like, the subject-matter of the outing would be contrary to a core belief or something).

DP - the bolded. And I'm not sorry. I've learned that anyone who throws out the "some people are too sensitive" line is trying to justify their own poor behavior. Middle-aged women still get upset about being excluded because they're human beings. We are hard-wired to be hurt by social exclusion. People can deny that all they want; it doesn't mean they're right.

I’m the one who said people are too sensitive. I have a lot of friends. DH has a lot of friends. Our 3 kids all have a lot of friends. I am sure we are not invited to everything but we all get invited to social events.

I do not feel bad for having lunch with a friend at Tyson’s and then that friend inviting our family only to dinner because her son likes my sons. I can’t invite all 5 moms and families all the time. When our kids were younger, we used to do family gatherings. Our kids all have different interests and we are all busy.

Your examples aren't what people are talking about. We're talking about, e.g., inviting four of five families, or four of five friends. Or inviting eight kids over for a movie and then having only three sleep over. Those are patently different than pairings within larger groups that naturally develop over time.

The women I am thinking about get upset if they hear that we get together without them.

Maybe it is because we always have somewhere to go (usually to pick up a kid from sports or to get to a game or other party) but I don’t care if people made plans without me or us after another plan. I guess we aren’t left out or I may be the one to suggest to go eat and anyone who wants to come can just come.

Even if your dance card runneth over, consider the fact that it doesn’t for others and/or you’re never in the position of being the ONE person/family left out of a larger group. I’ve been in friend groups enough to know that spontaneous gatherings happen. Every time, someone would say, hey, let’s see if [one family left out] can make it, too. Even if they can’t, the thought is there.

Again, this thread is about a kid who is the only one in her friend group not invited. That’s an utterly shitty thing to do to anyone, but particularly a tween/teen, since social exclusion feels like death to them.

This. No one is saying that your kid has to befriend someone not in their group. We're talking about excluding someone already in a group. It's a really crappy thing to do whether you're a kid or an adult.

Some friends planned a dinner out for my birthday one year. They drew up a guest list that included someone I don't like. I approved the guest list because the alternative was to leave out one person in this friend group. I also never told anyone that I don't like her because that's just stirring up drama. I exchange pleasantries and sometimes a brief conversation with her then move on.

I have to wonder about these parents who support their kid leaving out 1-2 people in the group just because they don't like them. I'm female and have three girls. The girls who pull this mean girl exclusion crap almost always have the tables turn on them eventually. It's constant drama and having to find new friends.

Pp here. I am a 45yo woman in a friend group where I stopped liking one of the friends. I have not liked her for almost five years and stuck inviting her because of this friend group I am stuck in. This year I am considering having a Friendsgiving and not inviting her. I really don’t want her in my house. I am not mean. I just don’t like this woman. I am not a tween/teen with mean girl behavior. I don’t want this woman in my house whether I am inviting 3 families or 20.

I have no idea why OP’s daughter was not included. I don’t know how big this party was.

For me, whether I think YTA depends on the reason. Just don't like and now, all of a sudden, you decide to make a break and leave her out? Yeah, sorry. You're a sh--- stirring drama queen who is a) in fact mean and b) just starting trouble with the group where there is none.

If she did something to you . . . that's a different story.

Her kid is awful and was mean and made my kid cry. I am an adult and can separate adult friendship from kids. That was the start of the rift. For years, she has taken jabs at my kids. I try not to talk to her or about her kids. I actually just try to avoid her altogether at events. My DH is successful while her husband is not. She also often takes jabs at my husband. Besides just her personality, she has become heavily into drugs. Whenever we are out, she pushes drugs and she is just annoying. I don’t like her at all anymore. Just because we got along and met when we had babies doesn’t mean we have to be friends forever. I don’t want her, her drugs or her kids at my house for Friendsgiving so she can insult me in my own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow that’s awful. I’m wondering if it’s an oversight. As a parent I keep an eye on guest lists when parties are at my house. I thought most did.

By age 15, you are still in charge of the guest list? The way I usually see it work at that age is that a kid invites other kids over, not the parent. And because they are 15, invariably, kids are left off the text chain, so other kids hear about it by word of mouth and then show up. It’s not an elementary school party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow that’s awful. I’m wondering if it’s an oversight. As a parent I keep an eye on guest lists when parties are at my house. I thought most did.

By age 15, you are still in charge of the guest list? The way I usually see it work at that age is that a kid invites other kids over, not the parent. And because they are 15, invariably, kids are left off the text chain, so other kids hear about it by word of mouth and then show up. It’s not an elementary school party.

I have boys. I don’t know how different boys and girls are but there are some crazy poorly behaved boys I don’t want in my house.

My son is having a hang out at my house. I took one kid out who is never welcome at our house. Someone always gets hurt because of him. Another kid my husband really does not like. One kid my son said is crazy and he probably shouldn’t invite. If someone is going to destroy my house, injure others, make giant messes that can’t be cleaned, I’m sorry, we won’t have them.

This may be a different type of teen party. My oldest is only 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s part of growing up. Maybe they are not really her friends. Find a wider friend group or different friends. It’s painful, but life.

OP here. Yes she has come to that conclusion. It has been a tough week for her. She had to listen to how great the party was on Monday by some "friends" that are not too self aware. The friend who had the party is one that I've been asked to give rides to and include in a number of things by her mom. I am staying out of it, but I will no longer drive her anywhere in the future. DD is chin up, but she is happy it's Friday.

My DD is going through something similar. Friends that she introduced have been hanging out regularly and not including her. It's extremely painful. One of the other kids was new to the area and my DD was the first to accept her and include her and introduce her to these other girls.

I'll never make an accommodation for them or their families again. (And yes, they asked as recently as this week).

Same situation here. Introduced the new girl in town to her friends and now new girl is taking over the group and leaving dd out.

I'm still helping the family out with rides and stuff as long as my dd isn't objecting, though I admit it is hard. Friend groups can shift quickly at this age and dd still likes her original friends too much to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s part of growing up. Maybe they are not really her friends. Find a wider friend group or different friends. It’s painful, but life.

OP here. Yes she has come to that conclusion. It has been a tough week for her. She had to listen to how great the party was on Monday by some "friends" that are not too self aware. The friend who had the party is one that I've been asked to give rides to and include in a number of things by her mom. I am staying out of it, but I will no longer drive her anywhere in the future. DD is chin up, but she is happy it's Friday.

My DD is going through something similar. Friends that she introduced have been hanging out regularly and not including her. It's extremely painful. One of the other kids was new to the area and my DD was the first to accept her and include her and introduce her to these other girls.

I'll never make an accommodation for them or their families again. (And yes, they asked as recently as this week).

Same situation here. Introduced the new girl in town to her friends and now new girl is taking over the group and leaving dd out.

I'm still helping the family out with rides and stuff as long as my dd isn't objecting, though I admit it is hard. Friend groups can shift quickly at this age and dd still likes her original friends too much to move on.

Why are you still helping the family with rides? That sends the wrong message. Talk to your DD about having self respect. Your DD is worthy of friends who treat her well. She needs to move on if her old friends are going along with excluding her.

[Anonymous]

My youngest is 17, and I think a lot of the above remarks are off base. HS friend groups are a bit fluid. How large is this group you DD was left out of. Take and friend group of 6 and you’ll be able to say- These 2 are closer than these 2. I suspect one of two things (1) the host and your DD aren’t personally close and her other friends failed to go to bat to get her invited or (2) there was drinking planned and you DD is more straight-laced than the host and the others.

You can carpool with acquaintances- it’s you DD’s call whether she wants to or not. She should consider this host an acquaintance who she has some friends in common with. Don’t you adults have those peeps in your life?

If she’s hurt by her other friends not worrying about her being left high and dry, I’d help her figure out if she trusts them enough to tell them they hurt her feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is 17, and I think a lot of the above remarks are off base. HS friend groups are a bit fluid. How large is this group you DD was left out of. Take and friend group of 6 and you’ll be able to say- These 2 are closer than these 2. I suspect one of two things (1) the host and your DD aren’t personally close and her other friends failed to go to bat to get her invited or (2) there was drinking planned and you DD is more straight-laced than the host and the others.

You can carpool with acquaintances- it’s you DD’s call whether she wants to or not. She should consider this host an acquaintance who she has some friends in common with. Don’t you adults have those peeps in your life?

If she’s hurt by her other friends not worrying about her being left high and dry, I’d help her figure out if she trusts them enough to tell them they hurt her feelings.

One of the PP's here and the other girls are 4, and my DD introduced 3 of them to each other. Drinking is not the issue. This is exclusion, pure and simple.

I agree with the other PP that this is about self-respect. No, you treat me poorly, I will not be doing you favors, giving rides, etc. It's just not happy. I'll be civil when we meet and will not be the one to start the drama. And allow that things -could- change. But, no, we're done when you treat me poorly. And that's what I"m teaching my kid.

As for telling them they hurt her feelings . . . . gmafb. OFC they know it's hurtful. They are older teens not 10 yos. Even by 10, kids know when they're being mean. And, no, there is not trust enough to tell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is 17, and I think a lot of the above remarks are off base. HS friend groups are a bit fluid. How large is this group you DD was left out of. Take and friend group of 6 and you’ll be able to say- These 2 are closer than these 2. I suspect one of two things (1) the host and your DD aren’t personally close and her other friends failed to go to bat to get her invited or (2) there was drinking planned and you DD is more straight-laced than the host and the others.

You can carpool with acquaintances- it’s you DD’s call whether she wants to or not. She should consider this host an acquaintance who she has some friends in common with. Don’t you adults have those peeps in your life?

If she’s hurt by her other friends not worrying about her being left high and dry, I’d help her figure out if she trusts them enough to tell them they hurt her feelings.

One of the PP's here and the other girls are 4, and my DD introduced 3 of them to each other. Drinking is not the issue. This is exclusion, pure and simple.

I agree with the other PP that this is about self-respect. No, you treat me poorly, I will not be doing you favors, giving rides, etc. It's just not happy. I'll be civil when we meet and will not be the one to start the drama. And allow that things -could- change. But, no, we're done when you treat me poorly. And that's what I"m teaching my kid.

As for telling them they hurt her feelings . . . . gmafb. OFC they know it's hurtful. They are older teens not 10 yos. Even by 10, kids know when they're being mean. And, no, there is not trust enough to tell them.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is 17, and I think a lot of the above remarks are off base. HS friend groups are a bit fluid. How large is this group you DD was left out of. Take and friend group of 6 and you’ll be able to say- These 2 are closer than these 2. I suspect one of two things (1) the host and your DD aren’t personally close and her other friends failed to go to bat to get her invited or (2) there was drinking planned and you DD is more straight-laced than the host and the others.

You can carpool with acquaintances- it’s you DD’s call whether she wants to or not. She should consider this host an acquaintance who she has some friends in common with. Don’t you adults have those peeps in your life?

If she’s hurt by her other friends not worrying about her being left high and dry, I’d help her figure out if she trusts them enough to tell them they hurt her feelings.

One of the PP's here and the other girls are 4, and my DD introduced 3 of them to each other. Drinking is not the issue. This is exclusion, pure and simple.

I agree with the other PP that this is about self-respect. No, you treat me poorly, I will not be doing you favors, giving rides, etc. It's just not happy. I'll be civil when we meet and will not be the one to start the drama. And allow that things -could- change. But, no, we're done when you treat me poorly. And that's what I"m teaching my kid.

As for telling them they hurt her feelings . . . . gmafb. OFC they know it's hurtful. They are older teens not 10 yos. Even by 10, kids know when they're being mean. And, no, there is not trust enough to tell them.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of the above remarks are off base. HS friend groups are a bit fluid.

This. DC is a senior and quite a few friend groups have shifted. The boy groups seem to be holding steady, but all the girl groups have changed. Teen girls are sensitive and get their feelings hurt very easily - the wrong look or comment or too much time with another girl, new boyfriend/break up etc. Most of the problems could be avoided if they stopped tracking each other via social media and learned to actually talk to each other. But new friendships and groups seems to be the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think a lot of the above remarks are off base. HS friend groups are a bit fluid.

This. DC is a senior and quite a few friend groups have shifted. The boy groups seem to be holding steady, but all the girl groups have changed. Teen girls are sensitive and get their feelings hurt very easily - the wrong look or comment or too much time with another girl, new boyfriend/break up etc. Most of the problems could be avoided if they stopped tracking each other via social media and learned to actually talk to each other. But new friendships and groups seems to be the norm.

This is not new. I can think of several friendships blow up over boys. There is a lot of jealousy. I have had a friend dislike me because too many boys liked me and not her. Another friend asked me to set her up with a male friend of mine and he wasn’t interested and she thought I sabotaged her. One friend’s boyfriend was cheating on her and I told my friend and the boyfriend somehow made me the bad guy and friend picked cheating boyfriend over me. I can only imagine all the extra girl drama there is now. Girls and women can be so petty.