DH prefers private, I want public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public for elementary and reevaluate at middle school. Based on your description, it's a no brainer. The sense of community that's provided by attending a strong local school is key at that age!

Private is better younger. Invest up front and reap dividends later - just like every other investment.

That's not what most people seem to say on DCUM and out. Most people seem to save on tuition during elementary since these years "don't matter" or are just "for socialization" and then send to private just for hs or ms/hs if they can afford both.

It’s also because it is easier to supplement with minimal time in those early years if something is lacking. Much harder as you get into middle or high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public for elementary and reevaluate at middle school. Based on your description, it's a no brainer. The sense of community that's provided by attending a strong local school is key at that age!

Private is better younger. Invest up front and reap dividends later - just like every other investment.

You must live in an odd area where the public high schools are better than the private options. Most people who can't afford private k-12 save the expense for 9-12, when it really matters. You can supplement at home in the earlier grades.

[Anonymous]

Even the so-called “best” school systems are becoming a rather pathetic joke, unfortunately.

Don’t subject your children to public school.

[Anonymous]

Op, price out what it would take to hire a nanny to drive to and from, and add that as a factor, even if that means full time help. Even better, If this school is really important to your husband, would he consider moving closer so that it is walkable or a much shorter drive? That would be less costly over time than a nanny and allow you to participate more fully in the private school community and derive the most benefit as a family. Otherwise what is the point? If you are not close, and interested in being part of the community, what is the point- Bragging rights?

If those two variables (extra help / move) are not up for consideration, your husband is significantly discounting the impact of this on your family (and specifically you) as well as discounting your preferences and opinions. You have every right to be upset.

Translate as much of the problem into quantities as you can - time & money- and don’t get distracted by the endless arguments pro/con speciic school systems. Keep it actionable.

[Anonymous]

What a pretentious guy. I would kill for my kids to go to a 9/10 school. My old elementary is currently a 9.

My kids go to a 4/10. We drive further for it, it was 5/10 when I chose it. Neighborhood school is a 2/10. You're lucky, he's dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a pretentious guy. I would kill for my kids to go to a 9/10 school. My old elementary is currently a 9.

My kids go to a 4/10. We drive further for it, it was 5/10 when I chose it. Neighborhood school is a 2/10. You're lucky, he's dumb.

We drive right by a 9/10 school and 2 Blue Ribbon schools to have DD attend a non elite private school. This is because I was an aide at the public annd volunteered at one of the BR schools and saw how school works these days.

[Anonymous]

The school ratings are unreliable. Especially the rating sites that include things like diversity in their calculation. And also if a school has good test scores you cannot assume it is due to excellent teaching, very often it is due to a parent culture of heavy supplementing at home to make up for poor teaching. Word of mouth is still the best way to find out which schools are actually good.

[Anonymous]

We had the same debate in our house. Public for elementary makes sense, especially for being able to get there easily and for making neighborhood friends. Being able to walk to school instead of sit for an hour, playing on the playground right after school to get that fun exercise, parents being more easily able to participate and volunteer for school activities, saving that money toward college or nest egg for the kids, spending that money on amazing family vacations that expand your children’s horizon. To me public elementary is the clear winner.

Your children will get into some private or other when the time comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had the same debate in our house. Public for elementary makes sense, especially for being able to get there easily and for making neighborhood friends. Being able to walk to school instead of sit for an hour, playing on the playground right after school to get that fun exercise, parents being more easily able to participate and volunteer for school activities, saving that money toward college or nest egg for the kids, spending that money on amazing family vacations that expand your children’s horizon. To me public elementary is the clear winner.

Your children will get into some private or other when the time comes.

Huh? Most of the private elementary kids I know aren’t sitting an hour to get to school. Mine goes to private and it’s a 15 minute car ride now instead of 5 minute car ride to public (and he took the schoolbus to public so it was 20 minutes on the bus). He plays on the private school playground after school with friends sometimes. Why can’t they…?

[Anonymous]

If you are against screen time, choose a private school that doesn’t rely on it, at least for elementary. Oh, and DH must agree to at least 50% of the driving.

Is there plenty of money being saved for college? That would be my other concern. You shouldn’t pay for private school and then need college loans.

[Anonymous]

This is an old thread. Wonder what they picked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an old thread. Wonder what they picked.

Hogwarts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had the same debate in our house. Public for elementary makes sense, especially for being able to get there easily and for making neighborhood friends. Being able to walk to school instead of sit for an hour, playing on the playground right after school to get that fun exercise, parents being more easily able to participate and volunteer for school activities, saving that money toward college or nest egg for the kids, spending that money on amazing family vacations that expand your children’s horizon. To me public elementary is the clear winner.

Your children will get into some private or other when the time comes.

Huh? Most of the private elementary kids I know aren’t sitting an hour to get to school. Mine goes to private and it’s a 15 minute car ride now instead of 5 minute car ride to public (and he took the schoolbus to public so it was 20 minutes on the bus). He plays on the private school playground after school with friends sometimes. Why can’t they…?

OP said the private school they are considering is a minimum of 20-30 minutes. She said an hour round trip, so that’s what I’m basing my comment on. Certainly if some kids hang around after school at the private, OP’s kids can too. But she (or whoever drives them) will always need to wait for them while they play. If the public elementary is as close as she says, then at some point the kids can play and then walk themselves home. Or at least OP knows while waiting for them to finish playing that she doesn’t then have a tedious drive ahead but instead a short walk home.

[Anonymous]

There are no good public schools. Zero. The teaching is subpar and the curriculum is garbage. The only thing that differentiates a good public school from a bad one on paper is the parents behind those kids supplementing, reading to their kids, teaching them at home and their own parents education level that filers through to their children’s everyday life experiences. Elementary is the building blocks for future education and learning. The elementary years are the years that are most important for success late on. Send to a good private (there are a lot of mediocre privates). Later middle and high school is a possibility where public schools can make sense due to may options for accelerating: dual enrollment, AP, special programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are no good public schools. Zero. The teaching is subpar and the curriculum is garbage. The only thing that differentiates a good public school from a bad one on paper is the parents behind those kids supplementing, reading to their kids, teaching them at home and their own parents education level that filers through to their children’s everyday life experiences. Elementary is the building blocks for future education and learning. The elementary years are the years that are most important for success late on. Send to a good private (there are a lot of mediocre privates). Later middle and high school is a possibility where public schools can make sense due to may options for accelerating: dual enrollment, AP, special programs.

95% true, but in my experiernce there are still some public elementary unicorns that manage to educate kids who don't have parents like this.