No-show at kids' bday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like folks who blow things off never hosted a kids birthday party. Not like glorified play date at the house but something at a venue.

Really? I was thinking the opposite. That OP doesn’t host a lot of parties or events and kind of blew this out of proportion.

+1

Oh deer.

[Anonymous]

Don't invite this person the next time

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and have hosted 20 parties. Minus 2 parties, every single party I have hosted have kids unable to come for various reasons. Some got the date wrong. Some are sick. Some have family visiting. Some just no show. I have had people also bring uninvited siblings or last minute RSVPs and less common show up without RSVPing at all.

It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once completely forgot about a birthday party. I didn't remember until the next day when my friend texted me. I felt awful and was very apologetic. Not the case with this mom so who knows what happened.

This happened to me before too. Just a lot going on in life and completely forgot to enter it into my calendar. Was extremely apologetic and still mailed a gift afterwards. They might still be mad about it, but I can’t do anything about that.

I personally wouldn’t discount someone for being flaky once, but if it’s a pattern that’s harder to deal with.

There are definitely repeat offenders.

There was one family who was school friends with my DS. They would rsvp right away and every year something comes and they can’t make it. At least they would change rsvp and let me know. Another kid no showed 3x to our parties. The mom is so friendly in person and never even mentions the party she flaked on. I don’t know if she is just disorganized or what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

Frankly you’re the type of person we like to avoid, so your lack of communication would have communicated that to us.

Insufferable wench award.

Your “dysfunction” is showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

I would not assume there was another kid waiting in the wings to take my kid’s spot at laser tag or whatever.
Who does this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I booked a not-cheap venue with an 8-kid limit. It was hard for my DS to choose, but he kept it small - and then one kid didn't show up. No word from the parent, nothing. Another kid could have used the spot. This morning, the mom just breezily texted, sorry to miss it. Uhh? Am I wrongly annoyed? I'm kinda annoyed!

Did she know her child was one of seven guests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and have hosted 20 parties. Minus 2 parties, every single party I have hosted have kids unable to come for various reasons. Some got the date wrong. Some are sick. Some have family visiting. Some just no show. I have had people also bring uninvited siblings or last minute RSVPs and less common show up without RSVPing at all.

It happens.

+1. I have three kids. All of the above happens. Assume positive intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and have hosted 20 parties. Minus 2 parties, every single party I have hosted have kids unable to come for various reasons. Some got the date wrong. Some are sick. Some have family visiting. Some just no show. I have had people also bring uninvited siblings or last minute RSVPs and less common show up without RSVPing at all.

It happens.

+1 our experience is the same as this! Anything unexpected happens with party planning! Just don’t let it bother you. Keep carrying on…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

I would not assume there was another kid waiting in the wings to take my kid’s spot at laser tag or whatever.
Who does this?

Sheesh, I absolutely would. It's called basic courtesy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Birthday parties for kids are in backyards or basements. Cupcakes, ice cream, games, balloons. Max 2 hours.

There ya go.

Not everyone has the space to host a party at home. And hosting in your home can cause a lot of mess and prep that you may not have time for. I have 3 kids and work full time. I like venue parties because we can just show up and all the food/entertainment is provided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

I would not assume there was another kid waiting in the wings to take my kid’s spot at laser tag or whatever.
Who does this?

I have 3 kids and have had a B list in the sense of a younger sibling that is friends with one of my younger kids. If I’m friends with the mom I’ll say oldest kid would like to invite your oldest to his party. If we have extra space I’ll let you know so you can drop off younger kid too since my younger kid would like a buddy. Usually people are happy to have a sibling tacked on if there is space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and have hosted 20 parties. Minus 2 parties, every single party I have hosted have kids unable to come for various reasons. Some got the date wrong. Some are sick. Some have family visiting. Some just no show. I have had people also bring uninvited siblings or last minute RSVPs and less common show up without RSVPing at all.

It happens.

+1. I have three kids. All of the above happens. Assume positive intentions.

Likewise, the party pooper can do the right thing and give a heads up. Courtesy goes both way, not just one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

I would not assume there was another kid waiting in the wings to take my kid’s spot at laser tag or whatever.
Who does this?

Sheesh, I absolutely would. It's called basic courtesy.

You would call around and see if a kid not previously invited would want to come at the last minute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

I would not assume there was another kid waiting in the wings to take my kid’s spot at laser tag or whatever.
Who does this?

Sheesh, I absolutely would. It's called basic courtesy.

You would call around and see if a kid not previously invited would want to come at the last minute?

Sure, happens all the time. Or invite a sibling to join.