No-show at kids' bday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like folks who blow things off never hosted a kids birthday party. Not like glorified play date at the house but something at a venue.

I have four kids and have probably hosted 20+ birthday parties. Some at home and some at a venue. It’s rare that an RSVP count is perfectly accurate. There is some give and take with these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once completely forgot about a birthday party. I didn't remember until the next day when my friend texted me. I felt awful and was very apologetic. Not the case with this mom so who knows what happened.

This happened to me before too. Just a lot going on in life and completely forgot to enter it into my calendar. Was extremely apologetic and still mailed a gift afterwards. They might still be mad about it, but I can’t do anything about that.

I personally wouldn’t discount someone for being flaky once, but if it’s a pattern that’s harder to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for typos. Watching a movie at the same time.

Just see if you can get a freebie to return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Found the trashy, lazy mother. Thanks for being Exhibit A.

[Anonymous]

Do most people have a B-list for kids’ birthday parties? This seems like kind of an odd complaint.

[Anonymous]

Birthday parties for kids are in backyards or basements. Cupcakes, ice cream, games, balloons. Max 2 hours.

There ya go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

So now we are all supposed to feel nothing when people are disrespectful toward us because they may be dysfunctional and scared of a friend caring about their well-being by asking if they’re ok? What kind of messed up twisted justification is that?! I get that it’s an explanation but it’s certainly not an excuse.

Ummm the point is just that you make assumptions and they are just that. Do with that what you will. Nobody is forcing you to be gracious lol

Ummm the only not “gracious” one here is rude, lazy no show mom — well, and all of you defending her. You’re unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Birthday parties for kids are in backyards or basements. Cupcakes, ice cream, games, balloons. Max 2 hours.

There ya go.

No.

There ya go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s rude to just skip and not say anything. Now you know you can’t count on this family to keep commitments.

+1
Maybe it's not the biggest deal in the grand scheme of things, and I wouldn't dwell on it, but it is rude and I would remember that this family is flaky. I wouldn't invite them to anything where it really matters if they show up, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is very important to you is not very important to everyone else. Take a step back. You chose a "not cheap" venue, this guest did not ask to be invited.

Huh?

What don't you get? OP is acting like this family did something terribly wrong. Of course OP wanted their kid to have a good party, but sometimes things come up. This party didn't hold the same importance to the guest as it does to OP. She needs to move on. These things happen.

It's incredibly poor manners to just not show up. It's not really about "importance." And most people realize that if you're booking a venue, it costs a set amount. Your kid's place could have gone to another kid. Good grief. It's basic etiquette -- and to your point, you're telegraphing to the family that their event/kids party is of little importance, which is kinda mean!!

You and the OP have no idea why the parent did not bring the kid. Her first response is to be annoyed and condemn the guest instead of thinking hmm, hope everything is ok.. and understand if there's a reason why they are sharing why they weren't there. Things happen in families that are private.

+1000 It could have been an extremely sensitive issue that the parent did not feel comfortable explaining in more detail. Here's an anecdote. One time my sister was hosting a b-day party for one of my nieces at a not cheap venue and niece's best friend was a total no show. Niece and my sister were peeved but didn't press the issue with the girl's parents. Sister found out months later someone in the girl's family had a suicide attempt the morning of the party. Good thing my sister didn't give in to a bad impulse to send a text conveying how peeved she was! OK now I know that is extreme and unlikely most of the time, but it shows you that you just never know!

I think someone in that situation would just say there was a family emergency (either before or after the party) and then as the host I think you extend them the grace that they really had to miss the event without asking for further details.

As someone who was raised in a very dysfunctional family, there are times where we would never have done that for fear of follow-up questions. It might seem easy to you, but you're not in their shoes.

Frankly you’re the type of person we like to avoid, so your lack of communication would have communicated that to us.

Insufferable wench award.

[Anonymous]

It is par for the course in hosting kids' bday.

[Anonymous]

I would have been very annoyed OP. And I would ignore her lame text apology. Don’t take it out on the kid though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like folks who blow things off never hosted a kids birthday party. Not like glorified play date at the house but something at a venue.

Really? I was thinking the opposite. That OP doesn’t host a lot of parties or events and kind of blew this out of proportion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like folks who blow things off never hosted a kids birthday party. Not like glorified play date at the house but something at a venue.

Really? I was thinking the opposite. That OP doesn’t host a lot of parties or events and kind of blew this out of proportion.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like folks who blow things off never hosted a kids birthday party. Not like glorified play date at the house but something at a venue.

Really? I was thinking the opposite. That OP doesn’t host a lot of parties or events and kind of blew this out of proportion.

+1

By being "kinda annoyed" that's like just one step above indifferent. The people using a lot of hyperbole and imagining emergencies and massive dysfunction to explain rudeness are blowing this out of proportion.