MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

Taking advantage*

Is she going to be sitting in a high chair and sleeping in a crib?

At our home, yes

You plan to never eat/feed the baby at grandparents’ homes? Weird…

I never said that

Then it’s a favor TO YOU to buy a high chair at their house you weirdo

You’re unhinged aren’t you?

Projection much? No sane person would have a problem with someone stocking their house with what makes a guest-baby comfortable.

What sane person calls someone a weirdo from a post. If you don’t agree that’s fine but there’s no reason to call someone names.

[Anonymous]

I would have asked why she is buying all these items as an opening to reset her expectations for how often it will get used. If she’s local this is really unnecessary! A pack n play is all that is helpful. She is clearly planning for it to get used at her house.

If she’s out of town and you plan to travel there frequently it is helpful but not if you’re local.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

Taking advantage*

Is she going to be sitting in a high chair and sleeping in a crib?

At our home, yes

You plan to never eat/feed the baby at grandparents’ homes? Weird…

I never said that

Then it’s a favor TO YOU to buy a high chair at their house you weirdo

You’re unhinged aren’t you?

Projection much? No sane person would have a problem with someone stocking their house with what makes a guest-baby comfortable.

What sane person calls someone a weirdo from a post. If you don’t agree that’s fine but there’s no reason to call someone names.

Like the person calling everyone a "Boomer" who doesn't agree that buying baby things to use at her house is wrong? I'm not a Boomer and still can't figure out what the issue is here. My mom loads of baby things for my kids to use at her house. it was amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

Taking advantage*

Is she going to be sitting in a high chair and sleeping in a crib?

At our home, yes

You plan to never eat/feed the baby at grandparents’ homes? Weird…

I never said that

Then it’s a favor TO YOU to buy a high chair at their house you weirdo

You’re unhinged aren’t you?

Projection much? No sane person would have a problem with someone stocking their house with what makes a guest-baby comfortable.

What sane person calls someone a weirdo from a post. If you don’t agree that’s fine but there’s no reason to call someone names.

Uh lots of posts reveal people to be weirdos, what are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked why she is buying all these items as an opening to reset her expectations for how often it will get used. If she’s local this is really unnecessary! A pack n play is all that is helpful. She is clearly planning for it to get used at her house.

If she’s out of town and you plan to travel there frequently it is helpful but not if you’re local.

Op here, that’s what I was thinking. That’s it’s unnecessary since we live so close to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked why she is buying all these items as an opening to reset her expectations for how often it will get used. If she’s local this is really unnecessary! A pack n play is all that is helpful. She is clearly planning for it to get used at her house.

If she’s out of town and you plan to travel there frequently it is helpful but not if you’re local.

Op here, that’s what I was thinking. That’s it’s unnecessary since we live so close to her.

Do you often only visit for 15 minutes? Do you know what babies are like at all?

[Anonymous]

My sister always had a problem with her MIL and it got worse when she had her first baby. She had so many “boundaries” and rules and tried to limit the time they spent with the in laws as a family. Sometimes silly stuff like getting mad at her MIL for gifting her daughter something pink. Anyways, about a year in, my sister completely changed her tune and was appreciative of her MIL for always volunteering to help take care of the baby/toddler and stopped controlling every interaction. Was her MIL annoying? Yes but she was just excited to have a grand baby and my sister learned to appreciate that love and support her daughter would receive.

[Anonymous]

As long as they are still available on your registry for people to buy for you, I don't see the problem.

I wish my MIL had bought modern, pre-vetted baby items for her home instead of offering us, for example, the solid wood cradle that she used as a child along with a soft piece of foam she cut herself to fit as a mattress (major suffocation risk) and the 40 year old drop side crib that had a super flimsy clasp (and definitely is no longer allowed in this country).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have asked why she is buying all these items as an opening to reset her expectations for how often it will get used. If she’s local this is really unnecessary! A pack n play is all that is helpful. She is clearly planning for it to get used at her house.

If she’s out of town and you plan to travel there frequently it is helpful but not if you’re local.

Op here, that’s what I was thinking. That’s it’s unnecessary since we live so close to her.

Do you often only visit for 15 minutes? Do you know what babies are like at all?

Right? My parents live 15 minutes away, they had a pack and play at their house that was used ALL THE TIME. It's a safe place to put a baby down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

Taking advantage*

Is she going to be sitting in a high chair and sleeping in a crib?

At our home, yes

You plan to never eat/feed the baby at grandparents’ homes? Weird…

I never said that

Then it’s a favor TO YOU to buy a high chair at their house you weirdo

You’re unhinged aren’t you?

Are you OP? One of the posters in this thread is unhinged and it's not the PP who suggested that it's nice grandma to buy things for your baby to use in her home.

[Anonymous]

I said this already in this thread, my mom & MIL had stuff at their houses. They live nearby. It was really nice to be able to go there for a visit & not have to lug over the high chair…and my mom had a little table & chair set when they were toddlers, etc. It just made the kids more comfortable & happy on those visits, & DH & I more relaxed bc there were appropriate things there.

I think you are determined to look at this through a negative lens. Only you know your MIL & what she is like, but this alone is honestly really helpful to you & DH. You have to cart around SO much stuff with a baby, it is helpful if they have some things there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would see this as a red flag that she expects you to leave the baby there often. Worst case is that she is already building a fantasy and expectation of how this will be and this almost never aligns with what is good for the baby or parents. If she was being thoughtful she would ask you and your husband if she should buy some things to set up in her house. She’s just doing it which is a warning sign that she feels entitled to the baby.

You and your husband may already know that you don’t want to do this based on whether she’s flaky or the over stepping boundary type. I would ignore her buying things but you and your husband need to keep your ears open for her dropping comments about her access to the baby.

You sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

How do you know she is not planning to gift them to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, apparently I'm the only one on DCUM who thinks this is utterly bizarre. Are you SURE she's not buying them as gifts for you?

The boomers are posting all over the thread. It is weird.

Right, it's so weird that the always attacked MILs might actually want to find something positive when a MIL buys stuff for the baby that the DIL actually chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

How do you even know she is buying them? Why do you expect other people to buy things you want?