MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

How would you take it if your MIL is buying items off your registry for her home only. She doesn’t mention buying any gifts for you to use. I will be a stay at home mom also so my baby wouldn’t be staying at her home that long and I live close to her. I also never mentioned having her look after my baby and if I happen to decide to go back to work, I would hire a nanny.

Thanks for all your responses.

[Anonymous]

I would think she wants to be ready for when you bring the baby over for a family visit on the weekends. It's very handy for a grandparent to have a pack'n'play for naps, a few bibs, a high chair etc. That way you don't have to bring everything.

[Anonymous]

Is she marking them as complete? that's weird.

[Anonymous]

Op here, no she didn’t mark them as complete.

[Anonymous]

Are you upset because she’s buying items for her house or because she’s taking items from the wishlist so others can’t buy them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, no she didn’t mark them as complete.

Then what is the problem?

[Anonymous]

It’s nice until proven otherwise. She knows things have changed since she raised kids in terms of what parents want/find convenient and she’s trying to get stuff you have vetted and approve of for when your child is at her house, which presumably will sometimes occur. I’m usually completely here for mil gripes but unless she tries to nab your baby you are off base here.

[Anonymous]

What is UP with MILs and baby equipment?

My MIL tried to keep my baby's stroller and pack n' play on two separate visits, telling us we could always buy another one "if we still needed it" (for our one-year-old). My DH literally had to wrench the items back from his mother's hands on our day of departure.

(I have no idea what she intended to do with the objects since she doesn't babysit or have any other babies in her life. DH's theory was, MIL always wants what other people have, even if that other person is a 1 year old who is still using the stroller to get around)

[Anonymous]

What is the problem? She's just trying to have the same setup as yours, for the baby.
Is she not allowed to do that?

[Anonymous]

Can you give a few examples? My kids are 13 & 16, and I still have baby items other people use when over. A baby monitor? Great. White noise? Great. Booster seat, toys, vibrating chair? Amazing.

Maybe she just wants items you've approved since she doesn't know what's good, and maybe she hopes you'll come over more if her house is easy to be at.

But naybe her boundaries make you uncomfortable in general, and that's why this makes you uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

It's not a problem. My ILs did nothing to prepare for us to come visit with the baby, but then heavily pressured us to visit a lot in the first year due to my FIL's health. Every time we went we had to bring everything with us. Eventually WE bought a few things to store there just to save us some effort.

They also expected us to move our carseat into their car when we got there so that they could drive everywhere and have the baby in the car.

Your MIL is being smart and trying to make it easy for you guys to come visit. That doesn't mean you have to visit more than you want, but how great of her to take care of that stuff on her end so that when you do, it will be easier for YOU.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is UP with MILs and baby equipment?

My MIL tried to keep my baby's stroller and pack n' play on two separate visits, telling us we could always buy another one "if we still needed it" (for our one-year-old). My DH literally had to wrench the items back from his mother's hands on our day of departure.

(I have no idea what she intended to do with the objects since she doesn't babysit or have any other babies in her life. DH's theory was, MIL always wants what other people have, even if that other person is a 1 year old who is still using the stroller to get around)

That’s completely different than what op described which sounds like she’s trying to be being careful of op’s preferences about baby stuff. (Which is better than the alternstive, like “baby can sleep in this rusty basinet from the forties and use great great grandma high chair from the 1880s which is literally just a tall very chair”)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not a problem. My ILs did nothing to prepare for us to come visit with the baby, but then heavily pressured us to visit a lot in the first year due to my FIL's health. Every time we went we had to bring everything with us. Eventually WE bought a few things to store there just to save us some effort.

They also expected us to move our carseat into their car when we got there so that they could drive everywhere and have the baby in the car.

Your MIL is being smart and trying to make it easy for you guys to come visit. That doesn't mean you have to visit more than you want, but how great of her to take care of that stuff on her end so that when you do, it will be easier for YOU.

Op here, how close did you live to your MIL?