MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would see this as a red flag that she expects you to leave the baby there often. Worst case is that she is already building a fantasy and expectation of how this will be and this almost never aligns with what is good for the baby or parents. If she was being thoughtful she would ask you and your husband if she should buy some things to set up in her house. She’s just doing it which is a warning sign that she feels entitled to the baby.

You and your husband may already know that you don’t want to do this based on whether she’s flaky or the over stepping boundary type. I would ignore her buying things but you and your husband need to keep your ears open for her dropping comments about her access to the baby.

You sound cra cra.

YUP.

[Anonymous]

It’s really none of your concern what she buys for her home.

[Anonymous]

Is this because you feel she should be buying these items and giving them to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

Assume the best - that she's buying them to wrap and give you as gifts.

[Anonymous]

MILs cannot win on this website. They truly can’t.

The poor woman is looking at the registry, seeing what she KNOWS her DIL wants for her baby, is making sure she has it in her home, and is getting shit for it?

“And if I work I’ll get a nanny!!” How obnoxious can you get.

[Anonymous]

What a great idea, thanks OP!

Also, you shouldn't be wondering why she's not buying a bunch of stuff for you, if you can afford a nanny you can afford to buy your own baby stuff.

[Anonymous]

She wants to make sure she has everything you want and need at her house to be considerate of you. I saw this with a friend's mom. Friend could just go to her mom's house without having to lug all the paraphernalia with her. She loved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MILs cannot win on this website. They truly can’t.

The poor woman is looking at the registry, seeing what she KNOWS her DIL wants for her baby, is making sure she has it in her home, and is getting shit for it?

“And if I work I’ll get a nanny!!” How obnoxious can you get.

Why is that obnoxious?

[Anonymous]

It really is convenient to have baby gear there for visits. A pnp to nap, a booster or high chair to join for meals, stepstool for the bathroom when they get older.

My MIL bought a bunch of gear including a car seat from a garage sale. I appreciated her excitement but none of it was usable (literally a high chair with a broken leg and moldy baby gate). So at least you know you'll have your preferred gear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

You are wrong here OP. Sounds like your MIL is just being considerate and is probably very excited for a grandchild.

[Anonymous]

This is why I’m so glad I only have girls. Being the son’s mom is awful. OP if your own mom were doing this would you be annoyed? Didn’t think so.

[Anonymous]

I’d be thrilled if my MIL did this. OP, you are looking to create drama where there should be none. Try to be grateful.

[Anonymous]

You need to back down OP. Your MIL sounds excited and she is getting prepared to make you and your child feel welcome at her house. You will have brand new stuff that you have hand selected when you visit her. Not sure what the drama is about. Do you usually have issues with her?

[Anonymous]

Ok OP, apparently I'm the only one on DCUM who thinks this is utterly bizarre. Are you SURE she's not buying them as gifts for you?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a very nice gesture. She is buying the things she knows you approve of. Assume good intent.