Terminating Parental Rights in MD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:aren’t there publicly funded options for in-home care?

hahahhahahhaahh NO,

There are though. I am not sure how it’s done but my hairdresser has a profoundly disabled child and they had a full time aide that came every single day. He went to public school and at 18 transitioned into a group home. He is on benefits entirely. I will ask her how they did it. They also had au pairs for their NT daughter so she would have separate care.

I am telling you that in the year of our lord 2023 in Maryland with an autistic child, this does not exist.

If they are severely disabled?

https://health.maryland.gov/mmcp/waiverprograms/Documents/LTSS%20Blue%20Book%202018.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:aren’t there publicly funded options for in-home care?

hahahhahahhaahh NO,

There are though. I am not sure how it’s done but my hairdresser has a profoundly disabled child and they had a full time aide that came every single day. He went to public school and at 18 transitioned into a group home. He is on benefits entirely. I will ask her how they did it. They also had au pairs for their NT daughter so she would have separate care.

Yes you can apply for the autism waiver and then get various services such as nursing care, respite, ABA for free under that. Applying is not easy and the process is lengthy but then it should really help you.

In the meantime, we understand. Do what you can. Don’t worry about things that can’t be left undone — use paper plates, eat cheap easy foods, have a messy house. Focus on getting more help for as little $ as possible. Take time tor yourself if you can. Don’t feel bad about a lockdown room with nothing destructible in it.

Good luck OP. You will get to the other side of this but I’m not going to lie and say it will be easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, is the child adopted? I ask because there is more support for adopted children for residential and PHP.

The only support is Medicaid. If the child is in foster care there are more options.

[Anonymous]

I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

[Anonymous]

I believe it’s called Treatment Foster Care or Therapeutic Foster Care

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/outofhome/foster-care/treat-foster/

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve worked in residential facilities and majority of the kids there were funded by school districts. Hire an advocate OP and see what your options are. I think it’s extra hard on those kids in residential without any families. At least the ones with parents got visited and to go home on occasion. Those without any parents were essentially raised by rotating strangers with almost no adults in their life for more than a couple years. They also suffered because they got very little money from the state each year for clothes and necessities. Parents can at least provide some comfort just by providing material items, it makes such a difference. At least explore all your options before taking such a drastic measure.

+1 I would go into debt to hire a specialized nanny/full-time nurse before taking the kind of step OP is considering. This is so heartbreaking and OP I know you must be suffering to think about this option. I wish we had better, free support for families in this situation. Please take this poster seriously.

To what end? Even if you take out a second mortgage for a full time nanny who can work with a special needs nanny, eventually that money runs out and OP is back in the same position. What if OP has other children?

We do have other kids. That's much of the problem-- they've been suffering from the current situation, both physically and due to lack of attention.

We simply don't have the money to hire someone for an extended period of time, nor would we be able to get a loan to cover that.

I think having other kids will make it more challenging to maintain custody of the other children while terminating your parental rights of one of them.

and I would assume it would traumatize the other kids for their sibling to be sent away.

The family bankrupting itself and neglecting them to care for their sibling is going to traumatize them too

Right - so we agree that there is no good solutions here, just a bunch of crappy, bad solutions of which OP has to try and navigate what is "least bad" for all concerned.

Dumping a profoundly disabled kid into foster care ain’t it. But I’m guessing OP is indulging herself in a little fantasy to cope with a hard time.

And this is normal. When my child was in the worst stage, I remember daydreaming about getting divorced just so I could get a break. The idea of 50/50 custody sounded like a dream. I felt like a prisoner in my own house, constantly walking on eggshells and subjecting my other children to a terrible environment.

Until you’ve felt that level of despair, you need to shut up and stop judging other parents.

If you want to troll, go to general parenting and pick arguments about organic food or the right school district, but please leave the SN parents alone. We have enough to deal with.

Different poster----then DO something! I say this as a family member who has to now clean up my sibling's mess of a family. They chose to have additional children after it was clear that their first born had major needs. They chose not to seek out resources b/c they didn't like the "militant autism parents", and therefore have no supports or community. They chose not to invest in resources and instead continued to live in a home they could barely afford. It's appalling.

Stop. Stop it. Be quiet.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

It sounds like they cannot or will not pay for a private placement and it's not serious enough for the school system to pay and the child is very young so that's another issue. Parents of kids in foster care get visitation depending on the court recommendation but imagine being a child whose parents gave you up, kept your siblings, clearly don't want you and being forced to visit in that home environment. That may not be in the child's best interests. Also, there is no guarantee the child would go into a residential placement. They could go in a full range from a regular foster home, therapeutic foster home, group home to residential care.

The court will assign them an attorney if they cannot find one. That's a non-issue. The child will have to be placed in foster care by the courts. If the parents want the child back they will have to follow the court orders to get them back or their rights can be terminated if they don't voluntarily sign. Hopefully CPS can find this child a loving home with parents who want them.

[Anonymous]

Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

OP, do not call a mandated reporter and tell them you want to terminate parental rights on one of your children before talking to a family lawyer who has experience with MD's child welfare system. You are inviting a lot of scrutiny into your home and parenting and could wind up losing custody of all your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

OP, do not call a mandated reporter and tell them you want to terminate parental rights on one of your children before talking to a family lawyer who has experience with MD's child welfare system. You are inviting a lot of scrutiny into your home and parenting and could wind up losing custody of all your kids.

Bumping to bring attention to PP. This is true, not fear mongering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, voluntary placement is very much a thing in Maryland, and no you don't need to retain a lawyer to access it. Here is a link to the actual state law-
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/maryland/COMAR-07-02-11-06

OP, you can call the MD Department of Health and Human Services for more information on how to start the process. They will help you.

OP, do not call a mandated reporter and tell them you want to terminate parental rights on one of your children before talking to a family lawyer who has experience with MD's child welfare system. You are inviting a lot of scrutiny into your home and parenting and could wind up losing custody of all your kids.

Bumping to bring attention to PP. This is true, not fear mongering.

Anyone who is voluntarily placing a child because they cannot handle it should have scrutiny of all their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:aren’t there publicly funded options for in-home care?

hahahhahahhaahh NO,

There are though. I am not sure how it’s done but my hairdresser has a profoundly disabled child and they had a full time aide that came every single day. He went to public school and at 18 transitioned into a group home. He is on benefits entirely. I will ask her how they did it. They also had au pairs for their NT daughter so she would have separate care.

I am telling you that in the year of our lord 2023 in Maryland with an autistic child, this does not exist.

If they are severely disabled?

https://health.maryland.gov/mmcp/waiverprograms/Documents/LTSS%20Blue%20Book%202018.pdf

You are talking about something existing on paper. I am talking about the reality of getting someone to show up consistently in your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:aren’t there publicly funded options for in-home care?

hahahhahahhaahh NO,

There are though. I am not sure how it’s done but my hairdresser has a profoundly disabled child and they had a full time aide that came every single day. He went to public school and at 18 transitioned into a group home. He is on benefits entirely. I will ask her how they did it. They also had au pairs for their NT daughter so she would have separate care.

I am telling you that in the year of our lord 2023 in Maryland with an autistic child, this does not exist.

If they are severely disabled?

https://health.maryland.gov/mmcp/waiverprograms/Documents/LTSS%20Blue%20Book%202018.pdf

You are talking about something existing on paper. I am talking about the reality of getting someone to show up consistently in your house.

PP here and I'm talking about autism specifically. God forbid your kid has behaviors, as mine did. No one wants to take the embarrassingly low pay they offer these people and do this job w/ kids w/ autism.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. This is impossibly hard.

I’ll share what we did, though when I posted about it once I got severely flamed.

We have a full time nanny who acts like a co-parent to our child. He spends 2-3 nights per week at her house. He’s included in her extended family events. This arrangement has evolved over time and it is expensive but it’s worth it for us.

I know it may not be realistic for your family, OP, but I’m sharing so you know that there’s nothing wrong with you for needing more support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in Kentucky. I know someone whose sister went to go live with foster parents without terminating rights. This means that when the foster parent can’t or doesn’t want to do it anymore they have to find someone else. However, this means she cones home on weekends or whatever arrangement they have agreed upon. So the child still stayed connected to the family. I wish I could remember what this was called.

I agree you should find an attorney. You might be surprised and they waive or reduce the fees. My brother was adopted and he always does adoptions pro bono for example.

There’s also many boarding schools and alternative education options in the Philadelphia area. Special needs education tuition is tax deductible under medical expenses.



Wishing your whole family help and peace. I’m so sorry

It sounds like they cannot or will not pay for a private placement and it's not serious enough for the school system to pay and the child is very young so that's another issue. Parents of kids in foster care get visitation depending on the court recommendation but imagine being a child whose parents gave you up, kept your siblings, clearly don't want you and being forced to visit in that home environment. That may not be in the child's best interests. Also, there is no guarantee the child would go into a residential placement. They could go in a full range from a regular foster home, therapeutic foster home, group home to residential care.

The court will assign them an attorney if they cannot find one. That's a non-issue. The child will have to be placed in foster care by the courts. If the parents want the child back they will have to follow the court orders to get them back or their rights can be terminated if they don't voluntarily sign. Hopefully CPS can find this child a loving home with parents who want them.

You aren’t really in the discussion.