Should we medicate our teen daughter for anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the poster insisting anxiety always has some underlying cause.

My child has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I likely have it in a milder form, though have no official diagnosis.

The anxiety often arises as a free floating feeling, rather than one coming from some specific cause. I can literally see the thought process in my daughter (and identify it in myself) as the brain goes looking for a cause to attach to the anxiety, because a feeling without an obvious logical cause is unsettling. The reason she will ultimately settle on for the anxious feeling has *nothing* to do with causing it. It is a feeling in search of a cause. The underlying cause is brain chemistry and genetics. The best coping mechanisms are tools to balance brain chemistry (sleep, diet, and, yes, most definitely medication) combined with learning to identify when this is happening and develop tools for managing it - but that is a hard skill to learn, and one a lot of teens haven't mastered yet. (Heck, a lot of adults haven't mastered it).

How did our brain chemistry get so screwed up then, to the point where anxiety is at epidemic levels? What’s happened in the last 20, 50, 100 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the thing op and something I did. Teens with severe anxiety are lambs in school and outside of home, but at home they are basically the worst terrorist to their loved ones.
You are the punching bag they need. However, you sit her down and say, "You are being abusive to us because you do not want to treat your anxiety. We understand why you are doing it, but being abusive is not ok, ever. We cannot live in the house with a person that is abusing us all the time. You either get treated, or you find another living situation. We are happy to schedule all the appointments and evaluations and pay for therapy and meds."

The part about another house might be over the top, but I said it to my then 17-year-old when he was physical with me and his sister. I was ready to follow through too, I would have paid for the hotel or Airbnb for a few days.

I think you did the right thing. Anxiety or not, boys especially respond to consequences less talk. There is never an excuse to be violent and if my child did that, I would have said something similar . Good job mom (or dad). I hope it works out for the best.

Thanks. It did work, he sought treatment after that and is/was in CBT and took meds for it. I did not yell or such, I explained that I understand why he acts like that but that we cannot be hostages in our house and live in fear. Imagine leaving him with his younger sister and him taking his anger out on her verbally and physically while I am at work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

+1

My Dd has anxiety and she got onto meds and is much better.

I am not understanding why you would not medicate for an illness.

Medication can have serious side effects. SSRIs are handed out like candy and they shouldn’t be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the thing op and something I did. Teens with severe anxiety are lambs in school and outside of home, but at home they are basically the worst terrorist to their loved ones.
You are the punching bag they need. However, you sit her down and say, "You are being abusive to us because you do not want to treat your anxiety. We understand why you are doing it, but being abusive is not ok, ever. We cannot live in the house with a person that is abusing us all the time. You either get treated, or you find another living situation. We are happy to schedule all the appointments and evaluations and pay for therapy and meds."

The part about another house might be over the top, but I said it to my then 17-year-old when he was physical with me and his sister. I was ready to follow through too, I would have paid for the hotel or Airbnb for a few days.

I think you did the right thing. Anxiety or not, boys especially respond to consequences less talk. There is never an excuse to be violent and if my child did that, I would have said something similar . Good job mom (or dad). I hope it works out for the best.

Thanks. It did work, he sought treatment after that and is/was in CBT and took meds for it. I did not yell or such, I explained that I understand why he acts like that but that we cannot be hostages in our house and live in fear. Imagine leaving him with his younger sister and him taking his anger out on her verbally and physically while I am at work?

DP. I agree that you did the right thing for you and your family. My experience is similar but in addition to anxiety being a part of the problem, ADHD was part of the ugly tangle. In my case, my oldest DS was unrelentingly mean to his younger brother. Youngest DS is also ND but doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I was worried enough about him being a target at school but it was beyond the pale for him to be targeted at home, especially by his brother.

After one incident, I pulled oldest DS aside (he was probably 12) and told him that his behavior was abusive and that unless he made changes, I would have no choice but to make other living arrangements for him because I had to protect youngest DS from him. Like you, I didn't yell or get emotional, I laid it out in black and white - he was causing damage to his youngest brother, making home, a place that should be safe, a refuge, into a hell for him and that I couldn't allow that.

I'm happy to say that oldest DS turned things around. He's now 20, living at home and going to community college (can't say enough good things about CC). In the last couple years, he and youngest DS have actually become close. I know it doesn't turn out that way for everyone and, actually, I didn't think they would. I think maturity and well managed symptoms are a big part. Hugs to you and those who are struggling with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Yes! this is what I was going to say. I have two young adults with anxiety and it has helped tremendously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

+1

My Dd has anxiety and she got onto meds and is much better.

I am not understanding why you would not medicate for an illness.

Medication can have serious side effects. SSRIs are handed out like candy and they shouldn’t be.

Anxiety and depression can also have serious side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

+1

My Dd has anxiety and she got onto meds and is much better.

I am not understanding why you would not medicate for an illness.

Medication can have serious side effects. SSRIs are handed out like candy and they shouldn’t be.

Agree. I can’t believe how many families and therapists do not try other options.

Forced exercise in AM and PM
Elimination diets
Less screens
ADHD testing
Blood work for vitamin levels, thyroid, bio markers etc…
Natural supplements
GAD Group therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Yes! this is what I was going to say. I have two young adults with anxiety and it has helped tremendously

But the OP hasn’t tried anything but therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster insisting anxiety always has some underlying cause.

My child has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I likely have it in a milder form, though have no official diagnosis.

The anxiety often arises as a free floating feeling, rather than one coming from some specific cause. I can literally see the thought process in my daughter (and identify it in myself) as the brain goes looking for a cause to attach to the anxiety, because a feeling without an obvious logical cause is unsettling. The reason she will ultimately settle on for the anxious feeling has *nothing* to do with causing it. It is a feeling in search of a cause. The underlying cause is brain chemistry and genetics. The best coping mechanisms are tools to balance brain chemistry (sleep, diet, and, yes, most definitely medication) combined with learning to identify when this is happening and develop tools for managing it - but that is a hard skill to learn, and one a lot of teens haven't mastered yet. (Heck, a lot of adults haven't mastered it).

How did our brain chemistry get so screwed up then, to the point where anxiety is at epidemic levels? What’s happened in the last 20, 50, 100 years?

We ignored it or locked those people away either in jail or other institutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Yes! this is what I was going to say. I have two young adults with anxiety and it has helped tremendously

But the OP hasn’t tried anything but therapy

What is your point, pp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you hearing from her medical/therapist re. meds? Do they recommend it?

If she is doing cognitive behavioral therapy, at least in my experience therapists are very very unlikely to mention medication and/or aren't licensed to prescribe medication anyway. You might get better results if you ask the therapist directly about this, but even then you would most likely need an evaluation by a doctor and/or a psychiatrist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

+1

My Dd has anxiety and she got onto meds and is much better.

I am not understanding why you would not medicate for an illness.

Medication can have serious side effects. SSRIs are handed out like candy and they shouldn’t be.

Yeah, we should all suffer so you can feel better about it

I have had dry mouth as the most serious side effect and Ive been in SSRIs for 25 years. I'll take that over debilitating depression and anxiety any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster insisting anxiety always has some underlying cause.

My child has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I likely have it in a milder form, though have no official diagnosis.

The anxiety often arises as a free floating feeling, rather than one coming from some specific cause. I can literally see the thought process in my daughter (and identify it in myself) as the brain goes looking for a cause to attach to the anxiety, because a feeling without an obvious logical cause is unsettling. The reason she will ultimately settle on for the anxious feeling has *nothing* to do with causing it. It is a feeling in search of a cause. The underlying cause is brain chemistry and genetics. The best coping mechanisms are tools to balance brain chemistry (sleep, diet, and, yes, most definitely medication) combined with learning to identify when this is happening and develop tools for managing it - but that is a hard skill to learn, and one a lot of teens haven't mastered yet. (Heck, a lot of adults haven't mastered it).

How did our brain chemistry get so screwed up then, to the point where anxiety is at epidemic levels? What’s happened in the last 20, 50, 100 years?

We ignored it or locked those people away either in jail or other institutions.

Exactly! Why are people acting like things were fine 50 years ago? My father slowly drank himself to death because he was depressed and anxious his whole life. He could have lived a much longer, happy, productive life if he had access to medication and therapy. People will find a way to soothe their pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Yes! this is what I was going to say. I have two young adults with anxiety and it has helped tremendously

But the OP hasn’t tried anything but therapy

What is your point, pp?

The point is an SSRI with a lot of side effects isn’t the first line of defense. Big pharm is over-medicating kids that just need better nutrition, sleep, and supplements. It takes 1-3 months, but it helps about 70% of kids/teens. Most parents just want the easy way out.

And many studies show that SSRI’s may actually INCREASE suicide tendencies in kids under 18. That is one of many side effects. Why risk that initially?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Yes! this is what I was going to say. I have two young adults with anxiety and it has helped tremendously

But the OP hasn’t tried anything but therapy

What is your point, pp?

The point is an SSRI with a lot of side effects isn’t the first line of defense. Big pharm is over-medicating kids that just need better nutrition, sleep, and supplements. It takes 1-3 months, but it helps about 70% of kids/teens. Most parents just want the easy way out.

And many studies show that SSRI’s may actually INCREASE suicide tendencies in kids under 18. That is one of many side effects. Why risk that initially?

You know what definitely increases suicidal tendencies? DEPRESSION!!!! GFC

Just stop. No one is looking for an easy way out. We are all doing the best we can for our kids.