Should we medicate our teen daughter for anxiety

[Anonymous]

Yes. Life changing.

[Anonymous]

Is her anxiety currently limiting her ability to participate fully in normal life? Is she missing opportunities because of it? This is always the standard we were given by professionals for evaluating when medication was appropriate. If she's still able to do everything she wants or needs to do (school, extracurriculars, socializing, etc.), then I'd probably hold of on medication and give therapy more time to work. If, as others have cited from their own and their kids experiences, she is opting out of things because of her anxiety, I'd go the medication route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wish my parents had medicated me as a teen. I suffered so much needlessly because back then (mid-to-late 90s), being in therapy was very hush-hush and seen as such a personal failure for the parent and person in therapy.

Me too. My experience as a child and teenager would have been so different without anxiety. In college and graduate school I was eventually able to get professional help and develop coping skills, but it was a lot harder road than it needed to be, and I missed a lot of opportunities because my anxiety was firmly in control and I didn't know how to take it back.

Yep, same. There were so many things I wanted to do as a teen that I avoided because of my anxiety... sports teams, debate, dates, joining clubs, theater, etc. There were also times when my anxiety caused my grades to suffer. I had a teacher who required us to speak & participate at least twice in each class to receive participation points. I almost never received mine and without those, a low A was all I could score in the class even with perfect exam scores. I also did not accept a scholarship that I won because it required giving a small speech to thank the organization during the awards assembly and having my picture taken with the presenters and I knew I couldn't do it. I misspelled words on purpose during our grade-wide spelling bee because I didn't want to win and have to spell in front of the entire school or other schools. I faked being sick to skip an AP Biology trip to Wallops Island because the thought of camping and canoeing gave me such anxiety.

Omg! I went to Wallops Island too for AP Biology! We didn’t have to canoe through. And we slept in cabins with bunk beds and brought sleeping bags.

[Anonymous]

There is no extra credit for getting through life without medication. She will never get her teen years back.

As someone who was an anxious teen, took medication, and had much more freedom to do the things I wanted to do in life because of it, I honestly can't understand hesitation about this.

[Anonymous]

As an adult I reluctantly started taking Lexapro and found it to be life-changing. Screaming rage anxiety attacks that had been part of my life forever were just suddenly gone. With less anxiety I was actually able to start doing the work of therapy and trying to change old relationship patterns they weren’t working for me.

So when my son began having extreme anxiety that was interfering with his schooling and his social life and basically everything, and we sent him to cognitive behavioral therapy for several months and it did not help much, I put him on the same drug at about age 12. I had a lot of concerns about medicating my kid but at the same time I felt like it would be hypocritical to benefit from this drug myself and to deny it to him.

It was *amazing* how quickly things changed for him. *Amazing.* His angry outbursts, which I now see were fueled by a lot of anxiety, completely stopped.

[Anonymous]

PP here, hit submit too soon, in addition to the anger outbreaks disappearing he also was much more willing to try new things and to interact with people. Going to unfamiliar camps, going to peoples houses, eating new foods, accepting last-minute changes in schedules or plans…It all suddenly became no big deal instead of the huge source of stress and conflict and fear and dread.

I still do worry about the long-term consequences of this on a growing brain but honestly the constant anxiety is no good for a growing brain either! I think that some people are just wired differently and that these drugs can really help and it’s certainly worth a try. It will either be hugely beneficial or you won’t see any effect and you should know pretty soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

If you’re suggesting combining medicine with therapy, sounds great!

But a lot of times the “root cause” is a brain that doesn’t make the right amounts of the right chemicals.

[Anonymous]

Medication was life-changing for my daughter at 12. She had done 3 rounds of therapy (age 7, 9, 11) and puberty hit her at 12 like a ton of bricks and allllll of her (and our) coping mechanisms failed.

We saw positive change within a week after she started medication. We went from multiple hour-long meltdowns per week and extreme negative impacts on our whole family from her anxiety to her saying that "with medication, it feels like things can go wrong and it's not a big deal and she can figure out how to solve them."

I am so grateful that meds were accessible and worked for my kid.

[Anonymous]

Yes please do in conjunction with therapy and things such as eating regularly and well, plenty of sleep, exercise, and a generally healthy approach to life (not everyone had to go to a top college, just do your best, take time for yourself and your friends and family). I really wish I’d realized that what I had was anxiety before years of misery until I got on medication that worked at age 30. It’s a torture your DD doesn’t have to live through.

[Anonymous]

The person that said ADHD was the underlying issue is not lying. Many girls that had teen anxiety get diagnosed with ADHD as adults.

It’s a real thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Because physical ailments and mental ailments are not the same.
There is not agreement in medical science that psychotropic meds are the best or most appropriate answer for all mental health issues. And it is generally agreed that if one can effectively treat depression symptoms with a shower, a walk outside, or throwing oneself into service acts that benefit others, then you try that first rather than hop into a daily regimine of happy pills or mood stabilizers that numb or stimulate a part of your brain and come with a plethora of moderate to sever side effects.
OP is right to exercise caution.

For years parents were advised to hop on the Ritalin train to get little boys to be calmer and more classroom compliant. It worked.
But there are a large percentage of those kids who are now adukts saying that they didn’t actually experience LIVING as a child. No highs or lows.
Just numbness.
It fixed the problem at hand, but at what cost.

Again, OP is right to be cautious about meds.

I would make sure you exhaust all other avenues of adapting and coping and cognitive behavioral therapy before getting your kid psychologically dependent on a drug to alter her universe.

Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Ask her and change your behavior. Meds will not fix the drama.

[Anonymous]

Yes, 1000 times yes. My DD finally agreed to meds in college and, after a period of trial and error, it made all the difference. It's sad to think of how much she suffered through HS.

[Anonymous]

Another one here with DD who has had GAD basically all her life, therapy for the teen years, and meds since starting college, it has made all the difference. It’s nice to see her personality coming through because she’s not in a constant state of anxiety & panic. It’s still underlying but not interfering with her life. Starting earlier would have been helpful. But, it had to be when she was ready & after some trial and error. There should be no shame in needing medication for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person that said ADHD was the underlying issue is not lying. Many girls that had teen anxiety get diagnosed with ADHD as adults.

It’s a real thing

If you do start medication, this is very much something to watch for. Our developmental pediatrician explained to us that for many kids, the hyper-vigalance of anxiety provides a check that keeps ADHD symptoms under control. When you remove the anxiety, you may also remove that control and the ADHD will come through.