Do only married men lack the ability to complete tasks? How do single men survive? Is every husband like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll conceded that men, on average, have more of a problem finishing these types of discrete tasks (buying 90% of the school supplies, but forgetting the rest).

But on the flip side, women, on average, have a problem finishing big picture tasks. DCUM is filled with women who went to well ranked colleges, top graduate programs, worked in one or two jobs for a total of 3-5 years, and then quit to stay home with babies. Basically, they put a good amount of effort into school and jobs - but only for ~2-3 years at a time. Which anyone who has a job knows means you barely skim the surface and can't really learn the ropes nor respond to any negative feedback to get better at it. It's just long enough for nothing to come back and bite you in the ass. And then they quit and spend the next 40 years on DCUM name dropping the law school they went to. Meanwhile, their DHs (and lots of other women) commit to 40+ years of stress of a single career to pay for everything. Not every woman. And not every man. But way more women than men don't "complete" their career trajectories and half ass it at the 80% mark, and let their DHs take over paying the bills.

Um, well, perhaps that's because they do the work of gestating and bearing children and then raising them and know that if they committed 100% to their careers then they'd essentially be doing 2 full time jobs.

Okay, so then if you're the woman staying home, you can do all these discrete short tasks and let your DH handle the big picture ones. But don't complain that he's not doing the short term tasks then, if you've decided to divide up the work in this way and stay home.

Right, because a SAHM must put in 14 hour days 7 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of guys are like this - there's just something in the male brain I guess that is hard for them to multi-task when it comes to the kids I know of a rare few who are really good at it. Planning vacations, finding the right venues for events, etc. Usually it corresponds to a senior level management job of some sort whether an attorney or someone who works a lot with planning on a professional level. It's rarely the middle manager though.

I don't know what it is but I suspect it is just how the female/male minds work - I am able to fully plan out kids' stuff because I also happen to care enough to make it a good one. I think DH is more about rote tasks and part of him doesn't put the effort or energy into thinking too much about it beyond what I tell him to do!

He can cook really well however so from that perspective, I'm good with splitting responsibilities LOL

Do you think all widowed/divorced/single fathers are like this? And what causes the differences between inability to tend to details at home vs. ability to master details in the office?

[Anonymous]

There are women like that too, they're just not on dcum. Also, the men like that aren't on dcum either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know the answer either. I stopped finishing things for him, but those things linger forever.

Examples:
He cooked dinner for us. The pan he burnt meat in it is still sitting dirty. It’s been 3 weeks.

I wash and fold most laundry. I asked him to put towels and sheet away. They have been sitting in the basket for two weeks and keep getting shoved in corners when guests come, and clean laundry gets piled on them because we have no more baskets. Now there are 4 “clean” baskets which I’m sure I’ll have to dump out and reward and refold to start the process over.

He used a cast iron pan and it’s been sitting by the sink dirty ever since. Maybe two weeks? Three weeks?

He emptied the shower to scrub it. There is still soap scum in shower but he never put the shampoo and other items back and it’s been a month. He seems to have resorted to using a travel shampoo he found in my cupboard, and swiped my kid’s kid shampoo to use as body soap.

Does anyone remember the "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode about the suitcase on the stairs? Ray came home from a work trip and left his suitcase on the stairs and Deborah refused to put it away for the umpteenth time, so it stayed there. Just one of the many ways that show spotlighted the joys of married life.

I'm surprised only one post so far has tried to use the ADHD excuse for DH ineptitude. Sorry, but there is no medical explanation for ignoring a filthy pan for days/weeks. It's just laziness.

That ELR episode was based on a true story….happened to Phil Rosenthal, executive producer. Same for Bad Moon Rising…the PMS episode.

My husband was a medical doctor and would always forget something. But he was the best doctor and treated me like a queen. He died way too young recently and I would give my arms to be able to finish a task for him. Appreciate the good things. They can be gone in a flash.