Do only married men lack the ability to complete tasks? How do single men survive? Is every husband like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please wives forget so many things as well. It’s not only men. This is just so horrible and nasty.

Seriously if men posted this or everything their wives can’t do or go to cause family drama …. Women are such bags.

men really only care about sex. Most of the posts by men on the relationship forum are about sex. Men have a low bar on everything else; hence, the reason why they don't post about household chores or all the many things that need doing for your kids.

Women care about everything, including trying keep the household together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man 100 percent of my wife’s chores are stuff I don’t care about or want to do.

I do it as that’s the deal.

Good that you do them, but women don't care about or want to do these chores either. But we recognize that most of them HAVE to be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh does a lot for the house and kids, but nothing seems ever done to completion. It seems to be the same (or even much less) with my friends husbands. People always tell me how thankful I should be for his effort, but it's hard when I'm still constantly getting the last puzzle pieces in.

Examples just from the last week:
-Kid had last day of camp and he picked her up, but didn't bring her Epi pen home so I had to go this morning and get it.
-He picked toddler up from in-home daycare on Friday, but didn't pay the lady so I had to go back and pay her.
-Said he was handling school orientation and put it on the calendar, but didn't actually log in and select time slots and now there's none left
-Went school supplies shopping but just defaulted to one of everything on the list when some multiples were needed (i.e. 2 boxes of Kleenex, 3 glue sticks)

I've been trying so hard over the years to not nag or micromanage, but dang I understand the wives that do everything themselves just so it gets done correctly the first time.

And yes, he's an exec at work, with 50+ people under him, manages tens of million dollars of budgets annually and highly regarded in his field.....but can't get the additional box of tissues ugh.

Most single men don’t full-time single parent, so that how they survive.

I would have him resolve each of the things you mentioned. Not you.

[Anonymous]

Problem is he wants you to be a SAHM

[Anonymous]

OP, are you asking if every man has ADHD like your DH? The answer is no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an exec at work, with 50+ people under me, manages tens of million dollars of budgets annually and highly regarded in my field.....but can't get the additional box of tissues ugh.


I survive with a loving and capable husband (handles a ton, and is way more organized on the home front), along with online ordering for household items, 2x month cleaner, meal plan delivered weekly.

If your job required you to get an additional box of tissues, would you be able to figure out a way to get that done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is long and you don't know what it holds in store for you, OP.

My husband has ADHD and leaves a trail of destruction wherever he goes. He's also very cute and smart.

My best friend's husband is a lot more efficient. Sadly he's struggled with cancer and depression.

My other best friend's husband never lifts a finger and can't even drive. But he's charming and cerebral and earns more money than my husband or my other friend's husband.

Moral: no one is perfect. You are not perfect either. Glean a little happiness every day.

No one is perfect, but there are also a lot of spouses that are much better than those listed here. If these were the only kinds of spouses available, I wouldn't get married.

[Anonymous]

No, OP, it’s your DH, not every man or even every married man. You are just like the OP last week whose DH (in her view) was incapable of buying school supplies so she said all men must be bad at that. No, her DH is bad at that, not all me. Or the OP from the previous week who said all men must be terrible at doing their kids’ hair. No, her DH is, not all men.

Why do all married women make sweeping generalizations about men based on their own DH?

- married woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't he go back to get the Epi pen, and go back to pay the daycare lady, and go back to the store to get the multiples of school supplies needed? Why are you fixing his mistakes?

This. OP, I don’t think you ever answered this question. If you bail him out every time, there is no incentive for him to pay attention. He does his “good enough” part and skips off to his happy free time.

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty typical. Never "in the moment". Nothing is too disastrous, just annoying. And the good makes up for the bad.

[Anonymous]

So when he defaults to weaponized incompetence, why do you step in and give him a pass? Why not say, “Oh, you forgot the epipen/payment/other half of the school supplies? That’s a bummer. When do you think you want to take care of it?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So when he defaults to weaponized incompetence, why do you step in and give him a pass? Why not say, “Oh, you forgot the epipen/payment/other half of the school supplies? That’s a bummer. When do you think you want to take care of it?”

Weaponized?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an exec at work, with 50+ people under me, manages tens of million dollars of budgets annually and highly regarded in my field.....but can't get the additional box of tissues ugh.


I survive with a loving and capable husband (handles a ton, and is way more organized on the home front), along with online ordering for household items, 2x month cleaner, meal plan delivered weekly.

If your job required you to get an additional box of tissues, would you be able to figure out a way to get that done?

I’d email the procurement dept, same as I would submit an Amazon order. First I’d ask my spouse as he handles most of the household mental load.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, this is my DH. I call him “80% [our last name]”. If you call him out on the missing 20%, he doesn’t hear it bc he’s pouting and waiting for his participation trophy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't he go back to get the Epi pen, and go back to pay the daycare lady, and go back to the store to get the multiples of school supplies needed? Why are you fixing his mistakes?

This. Stop fixing his mistakes. If it was his task to execute, he needs to complete it.