Son/DIL now have a ‘no adjoining room’ policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we travel with my son’s family, we usually get adjoining rooms so we can spend more time together, play board games with the kids, etc.


In my mind, this is a big deal because we won’t be able to see them as much and spend as much time together, especially kids. This is a hotel reservation that I usually make, but it is true son pays us back for his share. Now he says he’d rather book his own room anyway to get points.

Any ideas of how to gently suggest things stay the same?

Son/DIL likely want 2 adjoining rooms for themselves and their kids. Or a suite. You get a non-adjoining room, suite, whatever you want. As a GM/MIL my guess is they are trying to gently do that so just be glad you are invited at all. Silly that the couple has paid you back for accomodations where you get the points. It's your son- give him cash to pay for trip and let him get the points.

Wait, what? Shouldn’t everybody just be getting their own points? If you are paying, you should get the points/miles/cash back/whatever that goes with the amount you paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This took an interesting turn. Is sex Grandma the same person as OP, who wants adjoining rooms? That’s what I want to know.

Obviously not. Sec grandma does not want adjoining rooms, but OP does.

I think both are trolls. But it’s interesting to me that DCUM is ok with parents wanting nonadjoining rooms for privacy/sleep but many are not ok with nonadjoining rooms for grandparents for privacy/sex reasons.

I'm the original PP who called out S*x Grandma, and I am decidedly NOT one of the prudes described. I actually think it's pretty ridiculous that S*x Grandma feels she needs to be WINGS away from her family on vacation because of all the sex. That's just ridiculous and not a normal expectation of ANY vacation. If they're so loud it takes the much distance, they'll get kicked out of the hotel!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This took an interesting turn. Is sex Grandma the same person as OP, who wants adjoining rooms? That’s what I want to know.

Obviously not. Sec grandma does not want adjoining rooms, but OP does.

I think both are trolls. But it’s interesting to me that DCUM is ok with parents wanting nonadjoining rooms for privacy/sleep but many are not ok with nonadjoining rooms for grandparents for privacy/sex reasons.

I'm the original PP who called out S*x Grandma, and I am decidedly NOT one of the prudes described. I actually think it's pretty ridiculous that S*x Grandma feels she needs to be WINGS away from her family on vacation because of all the sex. That's just ridiculous and not a normal expectation of ANY vacation. If they're so loud it takes the much distance, they'll get kicked out of the hotel!

Yea, you are. You can’t even write sex (except for the one you missed).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we travel with my son’s family, we usually get adjoining rooms so we can spend more time together, play board games with the kids, etc.


In my mind, this is a big deal because we won’t be able to see them as much and spend as much time together, especially kids. This is a hotel reservation that I usually make, but it is true son pays us back for his share. Now he says he’d rather book his own room anyway to get points.

Any ideas of how to gently suggest things stay the same?

Son/DIL likely want 2 adjoining rooms for themselves and their kids. Or a suite. You get a non-adjoining room, suite, whatever you want. As a GM/MIL my guess is they are trying to gently do that so just be glad you are invited at all. Silly that the couple has paid you back for accomodations where you get the points. It's your son- give him cash to pay for trip and let him get the points.

+1

Adjoining rooms are for families with young kids. Not adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This took an interesting turn. Is sex Grandma the same person as OP, who wants adjoining rooms? That’s what I want to know.

Obviously not. Sec grandma does not want adjoining rooms, but OP does.

I think both are trolls. But it’s interesting to me that DCUM is ok with parents wanting nonadjoining rooms for privacy/sleep but many are not ok with nonadjoining rooms for grandparents for privacy/sex reasons.

I'm the original PP who called out S*x Grandma, and I am decidedly NOT one of the prudes described. I actually think it's pretty ridiculous that S*x Grandma feels she needs to be WINGS away from her family on vacation because of all the sex. That's just ridiculous and not a normal expectation of ANY vacation. If they're so loud it takes the much distance, they'll get kicked out of the hotel!

Turn why won’t you spell sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

You can’t not be intimate (gag me) for a weekend trip?

People can also forgo food and water for a weekend; should they?

Exactly.

I think “gag me” referred to the phrase “intimate time.” At least she didn’t say “make love.”

Why is it a “gag me” to think that your parents might want to have sex with each other while on vacation? Did you think their only purpose in being included on the trip was to watch your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we travel with my son’s family, we usually get adjoining rooms so we can spend more time together, play board games with the kids, etc.


In my mind, this is a big deal because we won’t be able to see them as much and spend as much time together, especially kids. This is a hotel reservation that I usually make, but it is true son pays us back for his share. Now he says he’d rather book his own room anyway to get points.

Any ideas of how to gently suggest things stay the same?

Son/DIL likely want 2 adjoining rooms for themselves and their kids. Or a suite. You get a non-adjoining room, suite, whatever you want. As a GM/MIL my guess is they are trying to gently do that so just be glad you are invited at all. Silly that the couple has paid you back for accomodations where you get the points. It's your son- give him cash to pay for trip and let him get the points.

Wait, what? Shouldn’t everybody just be getting their own points? If you are paying, you should get the points/miles/cash back/whatever that goes with the amount you paid.

Yes, that’s the logical thing to do, but in this case since the grandparents have inexplicably collecting all the points for a number of years they should now at minimum give son the opportunity to do so until the balance has been evened out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll

+1

Unclear why it took so many sentences either.

Nothing difficult with walking down a hallway and knocking Hello.

It’s difficult enough to get hotel or resort rooms in the same building, let alone demand adjoining rooms.

The family is maturing Op. it’s not all about you.

What is with some of you and the knocking? Never knock or call. Text. Just text! That way if anyone is sleeping, or showering, or in the bathroom, or undressed, you won’t be disturbing. Text!

Yea. Just text. Don’t knock or call when people are trying to shower or poop or whatever. This is common-sense courtesy.

[Anonymous]

If the kids are old enough to play board games, they are old enough to come to your room on their own, meet you in the lobby, or go to breakfast or the pool with you without you having a door to their room. And for goodness sakes do not insist on having a key to the non-adjoining room.

My MIL follows me around like a toddler on vacation and it makes my skin crawl. She wanders into my closed door bedroom when I am changing, she wants to chat while I apply my make up in the bathroom - and this is in a vacation rental where our bedrooms are on different floors and each adult couple has their own bathroom. If my MIL had access to my only tiny area of privacy and solace (a hotel room shared with my own kids) on a family vacation, I would lose my mind.

[Anonymous]

It’s interesting how OP mentions her son pays her back for his share. I wonder if OP has strings attached to gifts or favors she does for her son and DIL based on financial contribution? Whether or not son pays for his room shouldn’t influence how I felt about their decision for separate rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting how OP mentions her son pays her back for his share. I wonder if OP has strings attached to gifts or favors she does for her son and DIL based on financial contribution? Whether or not son pays for his room shouldn’t influence how I felt about their decision for separate rooms.

I found it funny how she mentioned that they were the ones who made/paid for the bookings and then had son “admittedly pay them back” as if it was some kind of point in her favor versus another example of their selfish controlling behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This took an interesting turn. Is sex Grandma the same person as OP, who wants adjoining rooms? That’s what I want to know.

Obviously not. Sec grandma does not want adjoining rooms, but OP does.

I think both are trolls. But it’s interesting to me that DCUM is ok with parents wanting nonadjoining rooms for privacy/sleep but many are not ok with nonadjoining rooms for grandparents for privacy/sex reasons.

I'm the original PP who called out S*x Grandma, and I am decidedly NOT one of the prudes described. I actually think it's pretty ridiculous that S*x Grandma feels she needs to be WINGS away from her family on vacation because of all the sex. That's just ridiculous and not a normal expectation of ANY vacation. If they're so loud it takes the much distance, they'll get kicked out of the hotel!

OP, maybe go back and reread the part about different wings. It was quite obviously a joke.

I don’t know why anyone would want adjoining rooms with their parents, in-laws, and/or adult kids. I’m an adult and I like my privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we travel with my son’s family, we usually get adjoining rooms so we can spend more time together, play board games with the kids, etc.

Recently, son’s family was on the road, and were randomly given a hotel room with an adjoining room with strangers. Apparently strangers were loud and son/DIL realized they could hear the other people’s TV, their loud talking was bothersome, so they ended up switching rooms at the hotel. Apparently it was some sort of revelation that adjoining rooms are noisy.

They now said for our upcoming trip that they would like to change the rooms to non-adjoining because “now that they think about it,” our early morning risings wake their kids up earlier. I never thought this was a problem since their kids just came into our room, but apparently son and DIL want to sleep and want the kids to sleep and want quieter rooms.

In my mind, this is a big deal because we won’t be able to see them as much and spend as much time together, especially kids. This is a hotel reservation that I usually make, but it is true son pays us back for his share. Now he says he’d rather book his own room anyway to get points.

Any ideas of how to gently suggest things stay the same?

Are you kidding! I would have put a stop to adjoining rooms the first time you mentioned such a ludicrous idea!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I wouldn’t want adjoining rooms with my MIL or DIL. You are traveling with them and that should be enough.

+1

[Anonymous]

The OPs statement that this will be a BIG problem for her because without adjoining rooms she won’t be able to spend as much time with them is the big red flag. She’s intrusive and most likely one of those awful hoverers who is constantly in others people space not giving them a break from her.

OP ..STAY OUT of your adult children’s hotel room. Give them a break. Let the poor little kids sleep. Let the parents sleep. You can eat breakfast with your spouse. Every breakfast doesn’t have to include everyone.