Son/DIL now have a ‘no adjoining room’ policy

[Anonymous]

You used the word “ Apparently” 3 times to describe the situation. You are being dismissive and not respectful of the boundaries they are setting.

[Anonymous]

DIL here and I actually like an adjoining room. That said, it's pretty transparent your kid and his family want some space, whether for noise or other reasons. Everybody needs downtime.

Also, when you're next staying with/near them maybe try reading in bed until some reasonable hour. I sometimes travel with early risers (ILs or not) who wake the whole household with their coffee making, scraping kitchen chairs, "quiet" TV, etc. Just scroll your phone till 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll

It's got to be the DIL posting, taking on the role of MIL, but somewhat of a true scenario.

[Anonymous]

You could suggest an Airbnb instead of a hotel. Otherwise, your son’s family stated their preference so honor it.

I would NEVER sleep in an adjoining room with my in laws, BTW. Your DIL is a saint for having indulged you for as long as she has.

[Anonymous]

You don't suggest things stay the same. Families change, needs and preferences change. What previously worked no longer does. Enjoy the fact that they're still going on vacation with you, but they need to make choices that work for their family, which includes having a more private space.

[Anonymous]

Nothing good can come from this. You are lucky they are even vacationing with you.

[Anonymous]

You don't get a vote on how your DS chooses to set up a room for his family.

Everyone in this scenario is on vacation and gets to decide what works best for them. DS's kids are not responsible for providing the vacation you want.

The parents are responsible for establishing their kids' morning routine, not you.

[Anonymous]

How old are these kids? Things change as kids get older. You are still traveling together Nd they want to spend time for you. They are even paying their own way. That’s all good!

In a couple of months we are meeting up with the entire extended family for sort of a family reunion. Everyone will be in 3 different hotels for different reasons. We booked one very close but not in the same hotel as my parents and one set of siblings. They didn’t understand and this caused some issues but my kids are older now and the needs are so much different. They sleep in, stay up late and need some alone time to be pleasant. all of us will have a wonderful time but it would have been very different if we were in the same building and little cousins or grandparents were up and knocking on the door to go to breakfast before 9am (or before 7am).

[Anonymous]

I think you're losing perspective, but I understand the upset. Try not to take offense. Just be glad you get the gift of traveling together and accept this and respect it.

[Anonymous]

I like adjoining rooms by my parents babysit and dh and I get to go out late. Sounds like you’re just waking kids up early and it only benefits you.

[Anonymous]

I can absolutely see how this situation started, possibly right here on DCUM.

DIL: "My in-laws like to come with us on vacation and they prefer adjoining rooms. We have never liked this arrangement because ILs are up really early and they wake up the kids no matter how 'quiet' they say they are. The kids need to sleep later than 5:30am. I don't know what to do."

DCUM: "Tell your MIL that you recently went on vacation and were assigned an adjoining room and it was really disruptive. Tell her that since this experience, you've changed your mind about the adjoining rooms being a good plan!"

[Anonymous]

As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

You can’t not be intimate (gag me) for a weekend trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

Honestly, if you want the kind of vacation you're describing, where you need to be floors away in order to "enjoy each other", why are you traveling with your child and their family? That is just weird. Go on your fun sex vacations alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can absolutely see how this situation started, possibly right here on DCUM.

DIL: "My in-laws like to come with us on vacation and they prefer adjoining rooms. We have never liked this arrangement because ILs are up really early and they wake up the kids no matter how 'quiet' they say they are. The kids need to sleep later than 5:30am. I don't know what to do."

DCUM: "Tell your MIL that you recently went on vacation and were assigned an adjoining room and it was really disruptive. Tell her that since this experience, you've changed your mind about the adjoining rooms being a good plan!"

It’s so funny you say that because I specifically remember a thread last year about in-laws knocking/waking the family up too early so the OP started refusing to tell the in-laws were their rooms were in the hotel building.