Son/DIL now have a ‘no adjoining room’ policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

Honestly, if you want the kind of vacation you're describing, where you need to be floors away in order to "enjoy each other", why are you traveling with your child and their family? That is just weird. Go on your fun sex vacations alone!

What is wrong with having sex when we’re alone during a vacation with family? Are we supposed to not have sex just because we’re staying in the same hotel with extended family?

It’s perfectly possible to spend a nice vacation day with kids and grandkids and then retire to our own, not adjoining, room and have sex with each other. What is wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

I like adjoining rooms because I always put one kid in with my parents so the kids don’t have to share a bed — they roll over and kick each other and no one gets a good night sleep. I find it hard to believe that random strangers are going to be quieter than two grandparents. Wait until they share a wall with partying twenty something, newleyweds, fighting couples, or people with small children from a different time zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

Honestly, if you want the kind of vacation you're describing, where you need to be floors away in order to "enjoy each other", why are you traveling with your child and their family? That is just weird. Go on your fun sex vacations alone!

What is wrong with having sex when we’re alone during a vacation with family? Are we supposed to not have sex just because we’re staying in the same hotel with extended family?

It’s perfectly possible to spend a nice vacation day with kids and grandkids and then retire to our own, not adjoining, room and have sex with each other. What is wrong with that?

Did you never have sex with your son in your house, ever? The way that you do it is that you close your door and go about your business. Do you know what an adjoining room is? It's 2 hotel rooms that have an internal door between them. Not like, everyone sleeping in one big room.

You are the one who said you can't enjoy yourselves if your family are in the same wing of the hotel, so one wonders how you managed to enjoy yourselves at home when your son was a child.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a joke.
Let the kids sleep in your room if it is that big a deal to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can absolutely see how this situation started, possibly right here on DCUM.

DIL: "My in-laws like to come with us on vacation and they prefer adjoining rooms. We have never liked this arrangement because ILs are up really early and they wake up the kids no matter how 'quiet' they say they are. The kids need to sleep later than 5:30am. I don't know what to do."

DCUM: "Tell your MIL that you recently went on vacation and were assigned an adjoining room and it was really disruptive. Tell her that since this experience, you've changed your mind about the adjoining rooms being a good plan!"

It’s so funny you say that because I specifically remember a thread last year about in-laws knocking/waking the family up too early so the OP started refusing to tell the in-laws were their rooms were in the hotel building.

I’m 9:43 and we went on a vacation with my parents this summer and didn’t stay together. Every day my parents would offer to meet for a “late” breakfast by 8 or 9. My kids are teens. We did this a couple of times but most days we would meet them for my kids first meal, their lunch, even later. Space is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I wouldn’t want adjoining rooms with my MIL or DIL.
You are traveling with them and that should be enough.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

Honestly, if you want the kind of vacation you're describing, where you need to be floors away in order to "enjoy each other", why are you traveling with your child and their family? That is just weird. Go on your fun sex vacations alone!

What is wrong with having sex when we’re alone during a vacation with family? Are we supposed to not have sex just because we’re staying in the same hotel with extended family?

It’s perfectly possible to spend a nice vacation day with kids and grandkids and then retire to our own, not adjoining, room and have sex with each other. What is wrong with that?

Did you never have sex with your son in your house, ever? The way that you do it is that you close your door and go about your business. Do you know what an adjoining room is? It's 2 hotel rooms that have an internal door between them. Not like, everyone sleeping in one big room.

You are the one who said you can't enjoy yourselves if your family are in the same wing of the hotel, so one wonders how you managed to enjoy yourselves at home when your son was a child.

It’s the the spanking noises. The spanking!

Whenever I spank my spouse during sex there’s just so much noise!

[Anonymous]

Get a room across the hall. Kids can easily still spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a joke.
Let the kids sleep in your room if it is that big a deal to you.

But then they cant get nasty at night. This lady is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

Honestly, if you want the kind of vacation you're describing, where you need to be floors away in order to "enjoy each other", why are you traveling with your child and their family? That is just weird. Go on your fun sex vacations alone!

What is wrong with having sex when we’re alone during a vacation with family? Are we supposed to not have sex just because we’re staying in the same hotel with extended family?

It’s perfectly possible to spend a nice vacation day with kids and grandkids and then retire to our own, not adjoining, room and have sex with each other. What is wrong with that?

Did you never have sex with your son in your house, ever? The way that you do it is that you close your door and go about your business. Do you know what an adjoining room is? It's 2 hotel rooms that have an internal door between them. Not like, everyone sleeping in one big room.

You are the one who said you can't enjoy yourselves if your family are in the same wing of the hotel, so one wonders how you managed to enjoy yourselves at home when your son was a child.

If the noise of simply waking up in the morning wakes up the grandchildren, even with the doors closed, I think the noise of having sex could also be heard. I don’t care if strangers hear us, but I don’t really want my kids and grandkids on the other side of a thin hotel wall. Sheesh.

And when my kids lived in my house as children, their rooms did not share a wall with my spouse’s and my room. They were at the other end of the hallway, so this was never an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

You can’t not be intimate (gag me) for a weekend trip?

People can also forgo food and water for a weekend; should they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a MIL, I can’t imagine wanting to be in an adjoining room with my son and DIL and their kids. My spouse and I would prefer to have some privacy, especially in a vacation situation.

How do you manage intimate time together with your spouse with your son, his wife, and their kids right there on the other side of the door? No thanks! My spouse and I would feel very uncomfortable in that situation, and it would affect our ability to enjoy each other. We would greatly prefer separate rooms, on different floors or wings of the hotel, if possible.

You can’t not be intimate (gag me) for a weekend trip?

People can also forgo food and water for a weekend; should they?

Exactly.

Why is it a “gag me” to think that your parents might want to have sex with each other while on vacation? Did you think their only purpose in being included on the trip was to watch your kids?

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe people are giving the PP grief about wanting to have sex on vacation. They sound like grandparents with a very healthy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people are giving the PP grief about wanting to have sex on vacation. They sound like grandparents with a very healthy marriage.

Seriously. Some people here are immature and/or puritanical.

OP, your son expressed his preference. Why are you trying to override that instead of respecting it?

[Anonymous]

You need to tell them, OP.

Despite what DCUM says, there are a lot of shades of gray between rolling over and doing whatever your son/DIL want and demanding that you have your way.

You can tell them that you still want adjoining rooms and why (cuddly time with grandkids), and then decide how hard to push it if they say no. It’s completely possible that they don’t realize this is a big deal to you.