How do you know if you are good in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are very different responses depending on if hetero male or female. If you’re a man and not spending a fair amount of time ( with her direction) performing oral or digital manipulation, or using a more efficient toy- chances are you’re not that great in bed. Being well-endowed will certainly help mitigate this, but staying on interminably waiting for her to arrive results in MOST faking it.

As a very well-endowed guy I still spend 90% of the time on oral and digital not PIV, so it’s maybe at most an ancillary benefit.

As a woman I consider oral/digital and PIV basic literacy. What makes a man great in bed is a combination trust, connection and how he puts it together -- choreography if you will.

100%

-Np, also woman

Okay, but a lot of men remain sexually illiterate. They take instruction from porn and often just default to what feels good for them, and women don’t provide explicit instruction. Too many women out there faking it; it never hurts to reiterate the remedial tips.

As an inexperienced guy, this subthread is demoralizing. “You only know the basics, if even that, to be really good you have to know the advanced stuff. And nobody’s gonna teach you the advanced stuff. “

The fact that you care enough to be concerned puts you ahead of quite a number of men. Read about feminine pleasure from female-centric websites. TikTok has a number of sex educators that are female gynecologists. Go slowly with a woman and be willing to mix it up- don’t be mission focused and start doggedly rooting about for that elusive g-spot you read about. Remember women like to grind, men like to thrust- focus on more grinding motions where her clitoris is in contact with your pubic bone.

Exactly. VWE guy from upthread, and if you don’t fit you can’t grind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. With the average woman, she will climax 3-5 times per session with me.

Doubtful.

Well, with the help of a vibe, that number and more are within reach. Without, it does seem unlikely for MOST women and is not a reflection of your skill as a lover.

(as the author of the "Doubtful" quote) this revision seems so much closer to reality. Willing to say that the OP can and does help with multiple orgasms ... but for the average woman to climax 3-5 times per session? Maybe it's me but I typically O once, and if I'm very lucky twice, but after that I'm usually way overstimulated and I wouldn't even want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are very different responses depending on if hetero male or female. If you’re a man and not spending a fair amount of time ( with her direction) performing oral or digital manipulation, or using a more efficient toy- chances are you’re not that great in bed. Being well-endowed will certainly help mitigate this, but staying on interminably waiting for her to arrive results in MOST faking it.

As a very well-endowed guy I still spend 90% of the time on oral and digital not PIV, so it’s maybe at most an ancillary benefit.

As a woman I consider oral/digital and PIV basic literacy. What makes a man great in bed is a combination trust, connection and how he puts it together -- choreography if you will.

100%

-Np, also woman

Okay, but a lot of men remain sexually illiterate. They take instruction from porn and often just default to what feels good for them, and women don’t provide explicit instruction. Too many women out there faking it; it never hurts to reiterate the remedial tips.

As an inexperienced guy, this subthread is demoralizing. “You only know the basics, if even that, to be really good you have to know the advanced stuff. And nobody’s gonna teach you the advanced stuff. “

The fact that you care enough to be concerned puts you ahead of quite a number of men. Read about feminine pleasure from female-centric websites. TikTok has a number of sex educators that are female gynecologists. Go slowly with a woman and be willing to mix it up- don’t be mission focused and start doggedly rooting about for that elusive g-spot you read about. Remember women like to grind, men like to thrust- focus on more grinding motions where her clitoris is in contact with your pubic bone.

Exactly. VWE guy from upthread, and if you don’t fit you can’t grind.

Try coital alignment technique or frottage. The former involves only partial penetration, the latter none.

[Anonymous]

no clue, I just focus on giving DW an O first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have told me that I’m great.

I’m sure that plenty of women would find me too vanilla.

People are different.

There's nothing good about vanilla!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have told me that I’m great.

I’m sure that plenty of women would find me too vanilla.

People are different.

There's nothing good about vanilla!

Mark me as “somewhat disagree” on that survey. Not all women are into bdsm and threesomes. Foreplay followed by some slow missionary and accompanied by dirty talk whispered into your ear: nothing to scoff at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. With the average woman, she will climax 3-5 times per session with me.

Doubtful.

Well, with the help of a vibe, that number and more are within reach. Without, it does seem unlikely for MOST women and is not a reflection of your skill as a lover.

(as the author of the "Doubtful" quote) this revision seems so much closer to reality. Willing to say that the OP can and does help with multiple orgasms ... but for the average woman to climax 3-5 times per session? Maybe it's me but I typically O once, and if I'm very lucky twice, but after that I'm usually way overstimulated and I wouldn't even want to.

Have always been perfectly content with one per session.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have told me that I’m great.

I’m sure that plenty of women would find me too vanilla.

People are different.

There's nothing good about vanilla!

Inexperienced, non sensual, non passionate guy back again to say I’m also vanilla. This just gets better and better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think to a man almost any sex = great sex, whereas to a woman there are more qualifiers.

This is not even remotely true.

I'm a dude, and I can think of at least 8-10 women that while mid-coitus, I had the thought "I kind of wish this was over"

Not that I didn't like them ( I did), or that I wasn't attracted to them (I was, leading up to the sex, much less so after), but it just sucked.

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of men I’ve slept with have told me that we have such an amazing connection, they haven’t experienced chemistry like this before, etc. I don’t usually feel the same - I enjoy sex and have generally had good sex with those men but not necessarily the most amazing sex of my life or anything. I think it seems that way to them because I am very orgasmic and it’s obvious I’m enjoying myself, so they feel confident and can relax and enjoy themselves as well.

It’s not always great though. I’ve had plenty of people lead me on and feign more emotional connection than they were actually interested/able to offer because they want to keep having sex with me. Over time I’ve gotten better about listening the first time when someone tells me they only want casual.

So with a specific subset of men you were having sex with, you were looking for an emotional connection and found out later that they were not?

Most women find out that men will pretend to care about them so that they can have sex early on.

Please tell me why it took (or is currently taking) plenty of men to find this fact out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are very different responses depending on if hetero male or female. If you’re a man and not spending a fair amount of time ( with her direction) performing oral or digital manipulation, or using a more efficient toy- chances are you’re not that great in bed. Being well-endowed will certainly help mitigate this, but staying on interminably waiting for her to arrive results in MOST faking it.

As a very well-endowed guy I still spend 90% of the time on oral and digital not PIV, so it’s maybe at most an ancillary benefit.

As a woman I consider oral/digital and PIV basic literacy. What makes a man great in bed is a combination trust, connection and how he puts it together -- choreography if you will.

100%

-Np, also woman

Okay, but a lot of men remain sexually illiterate. They take instruction from porn and often just default to what feels good for them, and women don’t provide explicit instruction. Too many women out there faking it; it never hurts to reiterate the remedial tips.

As an inexperienced guy, this subthread is demoralizing. “You only know the basics, if even that, to be really good you have to know the advanced stuff. And nobody’s gonna teach you the advanced stuff. “

The fact that you care enough to be concerned puts you ahead of quite a number of men. Read about feminine pleasure from female-centric websites. TikTok has a number of sex educators that are female gynecologists. Go slowly with a woman and be willing to mix it up- don’t be mission focused and start doggedly rooting about for that elusive g-spot you read about. Remember women like to grind, men like to thrust- focus on more grinding motions where her clitoris is in contact with your pubic bone.

Exactly. VWE guy from upthread, and if you don’t fit you can’t grind.

Actually, you can. I am actually quite happy to grind on an erection that is still outside my body. Love it. It gives me a lot of control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have told me that I’m great.

I’m sure that plenty of women would find me too vanilla.

People are different.

There's nothing good about vanilla!

Inexperienced, non sensual, non passionate guy back again to say I’m also vanilla. This just gets better and better.

I'm sorry, but I LOVE vanilla. Nothing wrong with it.

But non sensual non passionate guy, maybe you can work to find sensuality and passion? try slowing life down and seek to find enjoyment in everything you do. Eating. Talking. Drinking. Exercising. Take note of how you FEEL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have told me that I’m great.

I’m sure that plenty of women would find me too vanilla.

People are different.

There's nothing good about vanilla!

Inexperienced, non sensual, non passionate guy back again to say I’m also vanilla. This just gets better and better.

I'm sorry, but I LOVE vanilla. Nothing wrong with it.

But non sensual non passionate guy, maybe you can work to find sensuality and passion? try slowing life down and seek to find enjoyment in everything you do. Eating. Talking. Drinking. Exercising. Take note of how you FEEL.

I’m a Vulcan.

But seriously, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think to a man almost any sex = great sex, whereas to a woman there are more qualifiers.

This is not even remotely true.

I'm a dude, and I can think of at least 8-10 women that while mid-coitus, I had the thought "I kind of wish this was over"

Not that I didn't like them ( I did), or that I wasn't attracted to them (I was, leading up to the sex, much less so after), but it just sucked.

I think this goes for women too. There are times when the expectation exceeds reality and it's just a let down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think to a man almost any sex = great sex, whereas to a woman there are more qualifiers.

This is not even remotely true.

I'm a dude, and I can think of at least 8-10 women that while mid-coitus, I had the thought "I kind of wish this was over"

Not that I didn't like them ( I did), or that I wasn't attracted to them (I was, leading up to the sex, much less so after), but it just sucked.

What specifically "sucked" for your physically, can you describe in non-explicit terms? Just curious as a woman what men feel when sex is bad