How do you know if you are good in bed?

[Anonymous]

If as soon as the act is over the other person gets up immediately then it is a sign that they wanted it over. IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men tell me. I always orgasm from PIV and know how to make my body respond to their movements/direct them. The BJ queens always come off as desperate even though they want to seem sexy... It's the intercourse ones who are the ones men think are good in bed.

I’m curious on why thought it necessary to give such a catty response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are very different responses depending on if hetero male or female. If you’re a man and not spending a fair amount of time ( with her direction) performing oral or digital manipulation, or using a more efficient toy- chances are you’re not that great in bed. Being well-endowed will certainly help mitigate this, but staying on interminably waiting for her to arrive results in MOST faking it.

As a very well-endowed guy I still spend 90% of the time on oral and digital not PIV, so it’s maybe at most an ancillary benefit.

As a woman I consider oral/digital and PIV basic literacy. What makes a man great in bed is a combination trust, connection and how he puts it together -- choreography if you will.

100%

-Np, also woman

Okay, but a lot of men remain sexually illiterate. They take instruction from porn and often just default to what feels good for them, and women don’t provide explicit instruction. Too many women out there faking it; it never hurts to reiterate the remedial tips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. With the average woman, she will climax 3-5 times per session with me.

Doubtful.

Well, with the help of a vibe, that number and more are within reach. Without, it does seem unlikely for MOST women and is not a reflection of your skill as a lover.

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of men I’ve slept with have told me that we have such an amazing connection, they haven’t experienced chemistry like this before, etc. I don’t usually feel the same - I enjoy sex and have generally had good sex with those men but not necessarily the most amazing sex of my life or anything. I think it seems that way to them because I am very orgasmic and it’s obvious I’m enjoying myself, so they feel confident and can relax and enjoy themselves as well.

It’s not always great though. I’ve had plenty of people lead me on and feign more emotional connection than they were actually interested/able to offer because they want to keep having sex with me. Over time I’ve gotten better about listening the first time when someone tells me they only want casual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. With the average woman, she will climax 3-5 times per session with me.

Doubtful.

Well, with the help of a vibe, that number and more are within reach. Without, it does seem unlikely for MOST women and is not a reflection of your skill as a lover.

If you need a vibe to accomplish this you do not know your body well enough. There's still time. -woman

[Anonymous]

I think to a man almost any sex = great sex, whereas to a woman there are more qualifiers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think to a man almost any sex = great sex, whereas to a woman there are more qualifiers.

No, I don’t think that is really true. I mean sure, most will climax, but that can vary significantly in intensity and does not in itself signal a wildly enjoyable sexual encounter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men tell me. I always orgasm from PIV and know how to make my body respond to their movements/direct them. The BJ queens always come off as desperate even though they want to seem sexy... It's the intercourse ones who are the ones men think are good in bed.

So…you’re terrible at giving head. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are very different responses depending on if hetero male or female. If you’re a man and not spending a fair amount of time ( with her direction) performing oral or digital manipulation, or using a more efficient toy- chances are you’re not that great in bed. Being well-endowed will certainly help mitigate this, but staying on interminably waiting for her to arrive results in MOST faking it.

As a very well-endowed guy I still spend 90% of the time on oral and digital not PIV, so it’s maybe at most an ancillary benefit.

As a woman I consider oral/digital and PIV basic literacy. What makes a man great in bed is a combination trust, connection and how he puts it together -- choreography if you will.

100%

-Np, also woman

Okay, but a lot of men remain sexually illiterate. They take instruction from porn and often just default to what feels good for them, and women don’t provide explicit instruction. Too many women out there faking it; it never hurts to reiterate the remedial tips.

As an inexperienced guy, this subthread is demoralizing. “You only know the basics, if even that, to be really good you have to know the advanced stuff. And nobody’s gonna teach you the advanced stuff. “

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think to a man almost any sex = great sex, whereas to a woman there are more qualifiers.

I’m not a man but this is definitely not true. If a person is not very sexual a person, has major inhibitions and unresolved trauma, is unenthusiastic or selfish or not aroused, plus there’s no emotional connection, the sex won’t be great even for a man if he gets off.

[Anonymous]

If he is texting you about it and how good it was, months after the fact even though you live on different continents and there are no plans to be in the same location on the horizon, it was good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There are very different responses depending on if hetero male or female. If you’re a man and not spending a fair amount of time ( with her direction) performing oral or digital manipulation, or using a more efficient toy- chances are you’re not that great in bed. Being well-endowed will certainly help mitigate this, but staying on interminably waiting for her to arrive results in MOST faking it.

As a very well-endowed guy I still spend 90% of the time on oral and digital not PIV, so it’s maybe at most an ancillary benefit.

As a woman I consider oral/digital and PIV basic literacy. What makes a man great in bed is a combination trust, connection and how he puts it together -- choreography if you will.

100%

-Np, also woman

Okay, but a lot of men remain sexually illiterate. They take instruction from porn and often just default to what feels good for them, and women don’t provide explicit instruction. Too many women out there faking it; it never hurts to reiterate the remedial tips.

As an inexperienced guy, this subthread is demoralizing. “You only know the basics, if even that, to be really good you have to know the advanced stuff. And nobody’s gonna teach you the advanced stuff. “

Hey inexperienced guy, my second best lover was 21 (I was 22), so just give it a try, apply yourself (pun intended!).

But tbh there is something about sensuality and passion that you cannot teach. The people who are great at sex are in my experience also the ones that love good music, food, wine—hedonists, basically! There is an indescribable quality passionate people just have, and even if they are having a one night stand, it comes through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men tell me. I always orgasm from PIV and know how to make my body respond to their movements/direct them. The BJ queens always come off as desperate even though they want to seem sexy... It's the intercourse ones who are the ones men think are good in bed.

So…you’re terrible at giving head. Got it.

“BJ Queens” give me a break. You obviously have major sexual hangups, which is no fun in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. With the average woman, she will climax 3-5 times per session with me.

Doubtful.

Well, with the help of a vibe, that number and more are within reach. Without, it does seem unlikely for MOST women and is not a reflection of your skill as a lover.

If you need a vibe to accomplish this you do not know your body well enough. There's still time. -woman

I don’t NEED a vibe but what’s your problem with one? Toys are fun. Sex is fun.