How do you get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

Um, there is nothing to get over because you don't have a relationship with this person.

Learn how to manage your impulses and emotions and you and your spouse will be a lot happier. I've been on both sides of this and it passes quickly. It's more about you than them.

Is there something you can do with your spouse to help you focus on your actual relationship?

[Anonymous]

By and large, people don't "stop" doing things they are attracted do. You start doing something else that make sure bad habit lower priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, there is nothing to get over because you don't have a relationship with this person.

Learn how to manage your impulses and emotions and you and your spouse will be a lot happier. I've been on both sides of this and it passes quickly. It's more about you than them.

Is there something you can do with your spouse to help you focus on your actual relationship?

I do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get to know them better.

This could make it worse!

Or better, it’s a gamble, I’ve dated some crushes when I was younger or gotten to know them better and it was a letdown to know the real them lol.

[Anonymous]

Well OP the advice given so far has been to ignore and keep your distance or stick around to get to know them better and hope it goes away.

If only it were that easy.

[Anonymous]

Keep the interaction at work and only focused on work activities. That’s the most important thing here. As long as you keep it in that space, you will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep the interaction at work and only focused on work activities. That’s the most important thing here. As long as you keep it in that space, you will be okay.

Good advice here for keeping it in check but getting over it could take some time. You just need time and space.

[Anonymous]

My (mutual) crush left for another company. We never did anything inappropriate, but he was so kind to me, so happy to see me, and always on my side in any large work disagreements - something I don't get from my DH. Surprisingly, I don't really miss him outside of work hours, I guess because I never knew him in the real world.

[Anonymous]

OP here, crush still going strong even though we don’t interact as often as we were earlier in the year.

[Anonymous]

These cute guys who are successful, always “happy to see you,” easy to talk to, full of compliments…they are that way to every woman. Usually men like this work with a bunch of attractive ambitious women or and oftentimes manage a bunch of them, all of whom crush on him. And if you leave, he’ll quickly find a replacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These cute guys who are successful, always “happy to see you,” easy to talk to, full of compliments…they are that way to every woman. Usually men like this work with a bunch of attractive ambitious women or and oftentimes manage a bunch of them, all of whom crush on him. And if you leave, he’ll quickly find a replacement.

Yep using their charismatic personality to make the women feel special. Then, next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how there are two schools of thought here:

A. Everyone has crushes, enjoy it, it won't lead to anything.

B. It means there's something wrong with your marriage, change jobs (!), address it seriously, otherwise you go to your doom.

I'm a woman who is firmly in camp A. I suspect most people are. I can't believe someone would change jobs just for this, and I don't think any man would ever think to change anything about their lives when they have a crush on a woman. The camp B people must be women of a certain guilt-ridden nature. Very damaging to think of yourself in that way.

Camp B is women having unhealthy crushes. The kind that just consume you. Where you think about the person 24h a day and it becomes agony. As PP said above it’s limerence and it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how there are two schools of thought here:

A. Everyone has crushes, enjoy it, it won't lead to anything.

B. It means there's something wrong with your marriage, change jobs (!), address it seriously, otherwise you go to your doom.

I'm a woman who is firmly in camp A. I suspect most people are. I can't believe someone would change jobs just for this, and I don't think any man would ever think to change anything about their lives when they have a crush on a woman. The camp B people must be women of a certain guilt-ridden nature. Very damaging to think of yourself in that way.

Camp B is women having unhealthy crushes. The kind that just consume you. Where you think about the person 24h a day and it becomes agony. As PP said above it’s limerence and it sucks.

Men have them too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't act on it. Time passes. You take pride in being a person who does the right thing.

This. You control how you respond. Some don’t go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These cute guys who are successful, always “happy to see you,” easy to talk to, full of compliments…they are that way to every woman. Usually men like this work with a bunch of attractive ambitious women or and oftentimes manage a bunch of them, all of whom crush on him. And if you leave, he’ll quickly find a replacement.

Nope, I work with mostly men. My crush doesn’t behave the same with other women.