Why do so many parents still make their daughters do all the chores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have boys and know a lot of other families of boys. Our kids make beds, help unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, fold laundry, scrub toilets, etc. same as I would expect a daughter.

I don’t doubt the studies, but I think they’re old and imagine don’t apply to more highly educated households aware of gendered stereotypes. Also, in my house DH and I both work. So my boys are growing up to see a mom who has important meetings to get ready for in the mornings and a dad who handles kid sick days and grocery shopping. There is no gender divide here except for when physically necessary (my DH can lift heavier things than me).

You know that's not true, right? I mean, unless you have a back or neck injury that limits you medically, you are capable of being strong enough to lift as much as your husband does. Google female bodybuilders and weight lifters.

I just want us to stay with the science and not the societally imposed gender norms that people get stuck in their minds.

~ longtime single woman by choice who routinely carries big heavy things all by herself despite being an average sized, non body building female of the species

Why are you the way that you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

You made the choice to do this. You were not forced to. You could have told your brothers it was their turn.

[Anonymous]

I'm 48 with two brothers and from a socially/politically conservative Midwest family, and this was never a thing in our household. Whoever had the most free time when a chore needed done was tapped for it. Typically, this meant I (the eldest sister) actually did fewer chores and I progressed in school and had more academic and athletic obligations.

[Anonymous]

I only have daughters… so them’s the breaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

You made the choice to do this. You were not forced to. You could have told your brothers it was their turn.

That would not have happened. They were raised to believe household chores and taking care of a baby is women's work! My mother actually told me it was MY responsibility, saying bathing, dressing, changing her adult diapers, etc. was NOT something a son should do. Mom & I cussed each other out on a daily basis...we'd done that since I was a teenager. She screamed in my face, I screamed in hers. But, when she was dying, she asked for ME to stay overnight with her. It was just the way things were.