Why do so many parents still make their daughters do all the chores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

No words. Clearly you have issues.

I mean, clearly you have words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never seen this in my life.

+1

Is this cultural?

Nor I. Even growing up. And in families that had SAHMs, always, if there were chores, boys and girls both did them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

No words. Clearly you have issues.

I mean, clearly you have words.

Can’t post them here . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know one family who does this. In our family, our daughter is the youngest and she absolutely does the LEAST chores.

The way parents treat their last born kids is a problem too.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

Loser

Nope, I turned out the winner after choosing the losing hand most of my life.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know any family who operates like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 53 with one brother. We switched off on chores every other week, so chores were rotated between us. Dinner dishes we could decide among ourselves, one dried and one washed. As far as yard work, my dad mowed, and we were just responsible for raking/leaf collection.

I’m about the same age with more brothers and this is what we did. Everyone did the same jobs, just different weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the issue in my family growing up (I am a millennial) and I’m noticing it among neighborhood families too! Parents are forcing or guilting their daughters into doing chores their sons don’t have to do. I think kids should do chores—equally!

I didn't ask my daughters or sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's not what I see at all.

+1

[Anonymous]

My daughters do the girl chores and my son does the boy chores. He also will have to study something more economically viable in college (engineering, medicine, etc.) and will be responsible for managing the family as I get older. The girls will have the privilege of studying what they like, whether languages, art history, literature, whatever. The idea that everybody has to do the same thing sounds nice in theory but is awful in practice. Norms exist for a reason. Interdependence is far better than either independence or dependence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not what I see or how my kids were raised. My kids are now young adults but my son was always much more willing to do requested chores. DD spent so much time arguing it was easier for me or DH to just do whatever it was.

Lol. Your DD figured out early how to rule the roost.

[Anonymous]

This happens in Italian families

[Anonymous]

I’m 53 and this was definitely the model in my house.

My brother never did a thing his whole life until he joined the Navy and they taught him to make a bed etc.

I was making my bed with hospital corners since middle school, and I vacuumed and dusted for my mom and cleaned bathrooms too by the time I was in high school. I think my brother might have taken the garbage out now and again but typically in my family model men and boys sat on their rears watching sports while women and girls cleaned, shopped, cooked, etc.

I know plenty of marriages in my age group where women are doing 80-90% of the domestic labor. This is the primary cause of conflicts along with money and childrearing styles.

Whatever chores you might make your kids do in childhood, what will still with them most is the model they watch of how domestic labor is split in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens in Italian families

You are a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Observing cultural norms is not bigotry. I'm from an Italian family--it's just true.