Why do so many parents still make their daughters do all the chores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see this. I think it's not as blatant as when we were kids.

What I see: parents of boys are more lax with how messy they let their rooms get. They get assigned seasonal chores like mowing the lawn (2 hours once a week) while girls get assigned doing dishes every single night (30 min a day). I think a lot of parents don't even realize it's happening. Some of it is that girls might do chores more willingly or maybe are more interested in keeping their rooms cleaner. Parents just expect more home and family participation from their daughters versus their sons.

Where do you see this? Have you surveyed your friends/family/neighbors about the division of chores in their household?

[Anonymous]

Never heard of this. My DS is way better at all chores than my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could it be the kids naturally choose chores based on gender?

My son would rather mow the grass, clean the trashcan, wash the car or clean the garage. My daughter doesn't want to do any if that. I just have task around the house that need to be done I don't care who does them as long as they are done.

+1. I would rather do the cooking every day than do all of that stuff you mentioned. Especially anything related to trash or yardwork. My DH does that and/or schedules people to do that. (He also handles the dishes daily.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

Loser

[Anonymous]

I don’t know one family who does this. In our family, our daughter is the youngest and she absolutely does the LEAST chores.

[Anonymous]

That's how it was in my family growing up.

I have two daughters, so it's not a thing in my household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

No words. Clearly you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the issue in my family growing up (I am a millennial) and I’m noticing it among neighborhood families too! Parents are forcing or guilting their daughters into doing chores their sons don’t have to do. I think kids should do chores—equally!

Because I only have girls and I believe children should do chores. So in my house girls do all the chores - except the ones my husband does.

Even the cat is a girl - she doesn't do chores though....other than her own hygiene.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a very conservative Christian home (born in the 70s) and my parents shared chores and so did us kids (boys and girls). They had had very gendered roles in their own homes in the 40s, 50s, and 60s and wanted to change that.

I don't see that in my family or friend circle. When I visit, men are just as likely to be cooking or doing dishes or laundry as women. I would say if anything, fewer of my female friends with husbands have taken on more traditionally make chores - like drilling / house repairs, shovelling / snowblowing / lawn mowing, car repairs etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the oldest and only daughter in my family. The brunt of household chores and taking care of the baby were dumped on me. My brothers ran free and played outside while I stayed inside and scrubbed floors, washed dishes, changed diapers, etc. Around 40 some years later, when our mother became unable to take care of herself, I'll let you guess who had to quit her job and take on the chore by herself.

Cool story. You revived a year old thread for this? Get a hobby.

I did even better than that! I landed a high paying job after my mother finally died, I'm sure making more than you do! Finally, I don't have to look after any family members any longer.

No words. Clearly you have issues.

She does have issues, probably caused by her misogynistic upbringing. I bet you want to hold her responsible for the abuse she suffered too.

[Anonymous]

In my experience it's easier to get women/girls to do things. I see it at my work.
I can't say that I have seen it in families as most families I know have all boys. I have given up asking my sons to do anything. It's exhausting.
I also don't want them to get married. I'm going to tell the future wives not to blame me if they marry my sons. Fine boys otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I have boys and know a lot of other families of boys. Our kids make beds, help unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, fold laundry, scrub toilets, etc. same as I would expect a daughter.

I don’t doubt the studies, but I think they’re old and imagine don’t apply to more highly educated households aware of gendered stereotypes. Also, in my house DH and I both work. So my boys are growing up to see a mom who has important meetings to get ready for in the mornings and a dad who handles kid sick days and grocery shopping. There is no gender divide here except for when physically necessary (my DH can lift heavier things than me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see this. I think it's not as blatant as when we were kids.

What I see: parents of boys are more lax with how messy they let their rooms get. They get assigned seasonal chores like mowing the lawn (2 hours once a week) while girls get assigned doing dishes every single night (30 min a day). I think a lot of parents don't even realize it's happening. Some of it is that girls might do chores more willingly or maybe are more interested in keeping their rooms cleaner. Parents just expect more home and family participation from their daughters versus their sons.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know one family who does this. In our family, our daughter is the youngest and she absolutely does the LEAST chores.

The way parents treat their last born kids is a problem too.