Thoughts on this? Am I right to be weirded out/upset?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why one week of travel has impacted your life to this degree. Take a look around at the people that handle their own children everyday without assistance. For example, single parents, parents of deployed spouses and spouses that travel much more frequently than this apparent one off week.

It’s actually far from the norm for a single adult to care for small children. There’s a reason why single motherhood is considered very difficult and often leads to a severe economic impact due in large part to reduced earning capacity. It’s a very high stress situation.

With the divorce rate around 50%, I’d absolutely say it’s the norm for a single person to care for small children. And all these Nannie’s and helpers you keep suggesting to hire come alone, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look at this as a wake up call. Clearly you're exhausted and not happy with things. So take some time to think about how you could improve things for yourself going forward. Hire a babysitter while DH is away so you have help? Arrange for care so you can have a few days away? Just because hes the breadwinner doesn't mean you should never get a break. Don't feel bad for having him watch his own kids.

This. OP, something is not right with your current family dynamics. You say you are exhausted and the thought of being alone with your kids for a week sounds overwhelming. Are they special needs? Do you have any help? Are the logistics of getting them to/ from school/ activities hard? I adore my husband, but it was nice for him to travel some - I had a group of mom friends and we would scope out the mid-week ‘kids-eat-free” places, or hire a sitter to meet friends or do book club. If being alone with your kids for a few days is enough to put you over the edge into irrational resentment mode, I think it’s time for you to make some kind of change in your household to focus on your happiness.

+1 These are very good points.

Also, I adore my DH but I take advantage of his occasional trips out of town to do stuff he doesn't like to do. Eat later in the day, watch trash TV he doesn't enjoy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why one week of travel has impacted your life to this degree. Take a look around at the people that handle their own children everyday without assistance. For example, single parents, parents of deployed spouses and spouses that travel much more frequently than this apparent one off week.

It’s actually far from the norm for a single adult to care for small children. There’s a reason why single motherhood is considered very difficult and often leads to a severe economic impact due in large part to reduced earning capacity. It’s a very high stress situation.

With the divorce rate around 50%, I’d absolutely say it’s the norm for a single person to care for small children. And all these Nannie’s and helpers you keep suggesting to hire come alone, no?

The divorce rate isn’t “around 50%” for upper middle class millennial/gen-x parents, which is what the OP likely is to have young children and live in the DC area. Single parenting is the exception, not the rule.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should chill! Jfc

[Anonymous]

That poor man.

[Anonymous]

You're jealous. You wish momma had offered the timeshare to you and the kids so you could make a family vacation out of this. It's okay to be jealous, but you also need to get over it and let DH have bonding time with momma. Better him than you

[Anonymous]

I wish OP would come back and explain why she is "weirded out" by this. I get why she's upset, but why does she think it's weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon DH will be taking a business trip for a week. The trip was brought up in casual conversation during a dinner we hosted. The city in which DH’s convention will be held is a city ILs have a timeshare hotel/resort. DH just told me that his mother told him that she plans on going down and using her timeshare that week, and they can sightsee during some of his downtime. I know it shouldn’t, but it’s really irking me. Meanwhile I’ll be here holding down the fort while DH and MIL are sightseeing around the town on his “downtime”. Thoughts? Should I calm down?

If you are genuinely jealous about mil, then get over it. If this is a once in a lifetime gut feeling, look into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand why one week of travel has impacted your life to this degree. Take a look around at the people that handle their own children everyday without assistance. For example, single parents, parents of deployed spouses and spouses that travel much more frequently than this apparent one off week.

It’s actually far from the norm for a single adult to care for small children. There’s a reason why single motherhood is considered very difficult and often leads to a severe economic impact due in large part to reduced earning capacity. It’s a very high stress situation.

Not for a week, FFS. Many women (and men) do it for far longer due to work or other committments. OP is just selfish and pathetic, and you sound like you might be as well.

[Anonymous]

How would you feel if you wanted to do this with your son and your daughter in law was pissy about it. Geez. Get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

All of the “it’s so easy to manage two kids solo! Something must be wrong with OP!” posters sound dumb. Depending on the ages, it can absolutely be difficult. Say you have (as I do) a 9mo and a 5yo. I don’t want to cancel 5yo’s activities, nor do I want to compromise baby’s naps. When DH travels, we ask grandparents to fly in to help and I have zero shame in that. Why should I be a martyr or start resenting him?

[Anonymous]

If you can't handle your own 5 YEAR old and 9 month old for a few days, yes you are a problem. Lord help you if something happens to husband. I don't even know how you would survive.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is currently on a a week long work trip that was extended into a guys weekend. Next weekend I've booked myself into a fancy hotel where I'm ordering room service and watching garbage TV and scrolling on my phone. You should consider doing the same!

How old do your kids need to be for you to be able to do this? My kids are still too tiny for me to leave (infant and toddler) but this sounds so amazing I want to plan to do it one day.

[Anonymous]

Get yourself a high paying job and you can do this too!