Thoughts on this? Am I right to be weirded out/upset?

[Anonymous]

Soon DH will be taking a business trip for a week. The trip was brought up in casual conversation during a dinner we hosted. The city in which DH’s convention will be held is a city ILs have a timeshare hotel/resort. DH just told me that his mother told him that she plans on going down and using her timeshare that week, and they can sightsee during some of his downtime. I know it shouldn’t, but it’s really irking me. Meanwhile I’ll be here holding down the fort while DH and MIL are sightseeing around the town on his “downtime”. Thoughts? Should I calm down?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should. Seems like a great opportunity for mother/son bonding during a time he would be away from his family anyway.

[Anonymous]

What do you want him to do? Mope about in his hotel room just because you don't want him to enjoy himself without you?

If you're so jealous, take the kids out of school, take leave off work, and join him.

[Anonymous]

I think you are being unfair. I think it's a lovely opportunity for your MIL to spend time with her son. Imagine your child being grown and being resented for spending time with him. Put yourself in her shoes.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should calm down. I totally relate to the oppressiveness of solo parenting while your spouse is doing work travel, but DH hanging out with MIL doesn't make your situation worse. Maybe focus on how DH can help you prep for a smooth week.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you are in the wrong to be upset; however, think about why you're upset -- does he ever invite you to tag along (on your own dime of course) for work trips? That might be a fun way to do it next time.

[Anonymous]

DH gets mom time without taking any extra time from you/kids. TAKE THE WIN.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I’m just really feeling resentful of the trip. It’s not coming at a good time logistically and I’m already stressed about it. Now I’m just irked to think it’s partially a “fun” trip for DH and I’ll be here running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I’ll try and look at it differently. And you’re right, he’s done either way so what does it matter if he’s having fun, I guess.

[Anonymous]

This is a good time to post on your neighborhood listserv and ask if anyone has babysitter/mother's helper recs.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is going to be spending time with his mother, not his mistress. Exactly what seems to be the problem here?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should calm down.

[Anonymous]

This is really sweet. I hope my sons love me enough to hang out with me when I'm old.

[Anonymous]

OP you’re mad because you no doubt do not get your fair share of leisure time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re mad because you no doubt do not get your fair share of leisure time.

I do not. He’s the breadwinner and works a lot. His trips happen at the worst times. I’m exhausted. It’s not about his mother, per se. She’s a lovely woman and we see her often.

[Anonymous]

My DH is currently on a a week long work trip that was extended into a guys weekend. Next weekend I've booked myself into a fancy hotel where I'm ordering room service and watching garbage TV and scrolling on my phone. You should consider doing the same!