One leftover embryo and feeling sad about saying goodbye to it

[Anonymous]

Let’s all agree to stop engaging the troll. Sorry your thread got hijacked by that extremist, OP. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is tough and I feel you. But logically, there's a decent chance you would not be able to carry this one to term. I had a few miscarriages and "destroying" the embryo is basically the same thing. It has no form yet. It's just a capsule with your genetic material. I also wouldn't donate if I were you.

You do realize that your statements are totally contradictory, right? If it's "just a capsule with genetic material" and it's OK to "destroy" because it may end in miscarriage, why the reluctance to donate?

NP. Um no, it's my genetic material. **MINE** I have no interest in giving my genetic material--whether the "capsule" is an egg, an embryo, or a newborn baby--to strangers. Get your grubby hands off my genes.

Why do you think you own your genes? By your logic, your parents own you.

The only logical stance is that once you create a whole new human with his/her unique genetic code, you don't own that human anymore. "Your" genes have uniquely combined with another's to create a whole new vector of life.

The rights of an embryo do not outweigh the rights of the sentient human without whom it cannot grow.

If you think embryos aren't owned by people, why are we even having this conversation? Obviously, the fertility clinic should be able to do whatever they want with the embryos.

You don't own your children but yet you are responsible for making decisions on their behalf and for their care until adulthood....

And you are right, the rights of embryos don't outweigh the rights of the mother in our society, but that is a social decision, not some inherent truth.

[Anonymous]

I have PCOS and did not naturally ovulate. So when I got the right cocktail of medicine I had 50+ eggs retrieved which led to about 40 embryos. (Yes, totally insane I know!) We had 12 genetically tested and used five of them throughout our journey. I couldn't pay for 35 embryos forever. We said goodbye to them during the pandemic. We looked to donating them to research but the paperwork said the would be grown further and not knowing exactly what that meant we opted to destroy. It was, of course, hard but the only choice for us. My family is complete. I have zero regrets. Beyond thankful for science and IVF.
Good Luck with your decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is tough and I feel you. But logically, there's a decent chance you would not be able to carry this one to term. I had a few miscarriages and "destroying" the embryo is basically the same thing. It has no form yet. It's just a capsule with your genetic material. I also wouldn't donate if I were you.

This is so ridiculous. I guess you don't see the distinction between things happening naturally (like accidents happen) and you doing something to bring about a certain thing happening. People die all the time, so why not just kill him. Things get misplaced all the time so why not just steal it. Stellar logic.

NP. Well, lady, I think you left "naturally" in the dust a long time ago, once you started using IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is tough and I feel you. But logically, there's a decent chance you would not be able to carry this one to term. I had a few miscarriages and "destroying" the embryo is basically the same thing. It has no form yet. It's just a capsule with your genetic material. I also wouldn't donate if I were you.

You do realize that your statements are totally contradictory, right? If it's "just a capsule with genetic material" and it's OK to "destroy" because it may end in miscarriage, why the reluctance to donate?

It’s a completely different thing to think your own genetic child might be out there somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After dealing with infertility, we were fortunate to have two wonderful girls. They are almost 3 years, and 4 months old. Our family feels complete, I'm 40 and my husband is definitely not interested in another.

But we have one embryo left, a boy, and it's time to pay the storage fee again or fill out the form to donate or dispose of the embryo. I'm having a hard time closing the door on what could be, on giving this embryo a "chance". But it is the right choice to stop at two, for the reasons above, plus we would have to move with three kids and I love our little home.

I think I'm having a harder time because our clinic used to offer an option to donate the embryos to scientific research. I would have felt like it was going to a worthy cause at least. Now they don't have that option; it's dispose or donate (to another known couple or anonymously), and I don't want to donate - I just couldn't deal with all the emotions involved there.

Can anyone relate or share your experience? Thanks for listening.

Donate it to a family in need -- like a loving shame sex couple. Or use it and expand your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is tough and I feel you. But logically, there's a decent chance you would not be able to carry this one to term. I had a few miscarriages and "destroying" the embryo is basically the same thing. It has no form yet. It's just a capsule with your genetic material. I also wouldn't donate if I were you.

You do realize that your statements are totally contradictory, right? If it's "just a capsule with genetic material" and it's OK to "destroy" because it may end in miscarriage, why the reluctance to donate?

NP. Um no, it's my genetic material. **MINE** I have no interest in giving my genetic material--whether the "capsule" is an egg, an embryo, or a newborn baby--to strangers. Get your grubby hands off my genes.

Why do you think you own your genes? By your logic, your parents own you.

The only logical stance is that once you create a whole new human with his/her unique genetic code, you don't own that human anymore. "Your" genes have uniquely combined with another's to create a whole new vector of life.

The rights of an embryo do not outweigh the rights of the sentient human without whom it cannot grow.

If you think embryos aren't owned by people, why are we even having this conversation? Obviously, the fertility clinic should be able to do whatever they want with the embryos.

You don't own your children but yet you are responsible for making decisions on their behalf and for their care until adulthood....

And you are right, the rights of embryos don't outweigh the rights of the mother in our society, but that is a social decision, not some inherent truth.

No, that’s an inherent truth. If you don’t believe me, put the microphone up to the embryo and ask it its thoughts on the matter, then ask the woman. See who answers first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is tough and I feel you. But logically, there's a decent chance you would not be able to carry this one to term. I had a few miscarriages and "destroying" the embryo is basically the same thing. It has no form yet. It's just a capsule with your genetic material. I also wouldn't donate if I were you.

You do realize that your statements are totally contradictory, right? If it's "just a capsule with genetic material" and it's OK to "destroy" because it may end in miscarriage, why the reluctance to donate?

It’s a completely different thing to think your own genetic child might be out there somewhere.

So should men be allowed to demand their partner abort so that their own genetic material isn’t out there against their will?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is tough and I feel you. But logically, there's a decent chance you would not be able to carry this one to term. I had a few miscarriages and "destroying" the embryo is basically the same thing. It has no form yet. It's just a capsule with your genetic material. I also wouldn't donate if I were you.

You do realize that your statements are totally contradictory, right? If it's "just a capsule with genetic material" and it's OK to "destroy" because it may end in miscarriage, why the reluctance to donate?

NP. Um no, it's my genetic material. **MINE** I have no interest in giving my genetic material--whether the "capsule" is an egg, an embryo, or a newborn baby--to strangers. Get your grubby hands off my genes.

Why do you think you own your genes? By your logic, your parents own you.

The only logical stance is that once you create a whole new human with his/her unique genetic code, you don't own that human anymore. "Your" genes have uniquely combined with another's to create a whole new vector of life.

The rights of an embryo do not outweigh the rights of the sentient human without whom it cannot grow.

If you think embryos aren't owned by people, why are we even having this conversation? Obviously, the fertility clinic should be able to do whatever they want with the embryos.

You don't own your children but yet you are responsible for making decisions on their behalf and for their care until adulthood....

And you are right, the rights of embryos don't outweigh the rights of the mother in our society, but that is a social decision, not some inherent truth.

No, that’s an inherent truth. If you don’t believe me, put the microphone up to the embryo and ask it its thoughts on the matter, then ask the woman. See who answers first.

By that logic I guess you are ok killing the newborns too. And the old/infirm. Not surprised.