I make my kids separate meals from us for pretty much every meal and I think it's better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your kids don’t eat any vegetables? Even if they eat healthy foods they still need vegetables. I’m a big believer in doing what works for your family and if this system works for you then that’s fine. My kid doesn’t like the same thing in tacos as I do not that doesn’t mean I want to make a separate meal. She can have the taco shell with some taco meat, Avacado and cheese….. I’m not forcing lettuce or salsa on her if she doesn’t like it.

Do they though? I definitely put vegetables on my kids' plates but they barely touch them. They actually ate more vegetables when they were younger -- as toddlers/preschoolers there were a bunch of veggies, including raw bell peppers, carrots, green beans, and squash, as well as more savory fruits (avocado, corn). I thought that would only grow, with them adding greens, tomatoes, etc. But the reverse has happened -- they began resisting veggies once they started elementary, likely partly because so many of their peers do but I also think partly because they simply do not like the taste and texture, and now my kids are classic anti-vegetable kids. Every once in a while they'll get a taste for something and eat a full serving of veggies at dinner. But this is rare. Most days they pick at them and will do more than the perfunctory taste to satisfy us. They eat lots of fruit and the rest of their diet is varied. They grow well and seem healthy. We give them vitamins because I do worry about them getting insufficient nutrients with so few veggies. But... it doesn't seem to matter that much?

Kids not eating vegetables is such a typical thing, I think maybe we over estimate how much they *need* them. Not saying we'll stop serving them, because I think exposure is valuable. But I also hated vegetables as a kid and now I love them. Kids bodies are really efficient at extracting nutrients from their foods. I think it's probably possible for children to get everything they need without ever touching a vegetable, and it seems like a lot of kids actually take this route, given the response of so many kids to even very well-prepared vegetable dishes.

[Anonymous]

OP I agree with you and think is more common than it is promoted. It is "we eat together and the same meal but it is modified for different palates". On fish night we make both salmon and fish sticks. We put a piece of salmon on my son's plate; but sometimes, I want fish sticks vs salmon. I am not a huge seafood person. On breakfast night, we might make eggs pot sausage burritos with fruit. We have burritos but our son may just have everything separated out and not rolled in a tortilla.
My kid is a bit difficult because he doesn't eat a lot of dairy. He can only handle up to yogurt on the dairy spectrum and he hates mac-n-cheese and mashed potatoes. He would eat rice every night if we let him. We are all doing our best with what we have to deal with. He doesnt get the benefit of the calories/protein/fat of milk like most kids so I have to accommodate a bit more during our meals. If you make some fantastic gourmet soup but serve it with bread, milk, and veggies/fruit to your kid and they eat all of that but not the soup of course it seems like your plan is working. It doesnt work when they only eat 1/2 piece of bread and fruit. Then they wake up in the middle of the night hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh FFS. What do you think kids eat all over the world, and have done for thousands of years? They eat the cuisine of their culture, spicy though it may be.

Sorry your kids are picky, OP, but don't pretend all children are like this. And don't pretend your choice to cater to them isn't part of why your kids are picky.

hmm.. I dont know about other cultures but in my North Indian heritage family..kids do have special food made for them that was separate from the Indian curries and sabzi gosht you eat as n adult. breakfast wud often be plain paratha and yoghurt with sugar whipped in or eggs & toast soldier- not a green chili and scallion omelette! a serving of pulao with ghee or kichri etc.. some kids want to eat spicy foods earlier and start asking for it bit no- one is given korma and palak right off the bat. grandmas would hiss that baby's sensitive tummy cant take it so until kids are like 5-7ish, separate food is served to them. lots of ghee filled food, yoghurt and fruit with fiber is fed to kids b/c they need the fat for their growing brains. same with almonds/nuts- we had to eat a handful of almonds every day and a bowl of kefir like yoghurt at lunch. We were also allowed sweets but limited eating sour foods. and egos is pretty common even in South Indian families but they are vegetarian more often and feed kichri instead of pulao.

Psst... I agree, but don't interrupt PP who is raining down millennia of judgment on OP.
- South Indian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This obsession with kids having an adventurous palate is one of the most ridiculous things. It really doesn’t matter.

It also doesn't matter that some kids do. They aren't having adventurous palates at you, or at your kids. It's not a criticism of you.

+1. Some families see food as more than just sustenance - it’s entertainment, a way to share family time, a genuine source of pleasure. My family loves great food, and we are the co-owners of several restaurants in ny. Having our kids enjoy food with us is just one of the ways we like to spend time with them. Just like skiing, hiking, board games, etc.

Yes, some people are overly obsessed about their kids having adventurous palates, and I think it comes from a weird place, like when they post photos on social media of their kids eating fish eyeballs or whatever. But those are the same people who are overly obsessed about a lot of things their kids do. We want our kids to enjoy food because we think it’s a source of real pleasure and a great way to commune with people. It adds an extra dimension to travel and it’s a tangible way to understand other cultures. We have plenty of kids who come over for play dates who only eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. And I’ll happily serve that to them. If they want to try a bite of chicken tikka masala or wiener schnitzel, they are welcome too, but there’s no pressure. I grew up in a town with no non-American restaurants other than the local Chinese restaurant. My first time eating Indian and Thai food was at friends’ homes and it was like that scene in ratatouille when the rat discovers good food.

OP, many many kids grow up to be adults who enjoy the same food they ate as kids and feel no need to branch out. But socially, especially if your kids grow up to live in cities and will travel, it’s easier for them if they are willing to try different foods. It’s not fun to go on a trip to Spain with friends and be the only one not eating the paella.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the advice to always serve your kids what the adults are eating. They don't want to eat it! We always put some of whatever we made on their plates but there are only a handful of things that we eat that they actually like and will eat more than a couple bites of (mostly simple pasta dishes). They don't complain, they just kind of eat around what we serve, fill up on milk and whatever carb is on the table, and that's it.

So I pretty much always serve them kid-friendly foods (healthy stuff -- yogurt and granola, pasta with simple pesto/red/butter sauce, a variety of fruits, whole grains, etc.) and they mostly just eat that. We always encourage them to try everything on the table unless it's an item they have an established aversion to. They will eat a bite of our main dish and will pick at some veggies, and then they fill up on a variety of the other stuff. It's all things that are easy to serve and we meal prep on the weekend, so it doesn't require extra effort. Though about once a week I'll also prep something I know they love and serve that as well. Like this week I did a batch of banana and oat pancakes that are easy to heat up and they love them plus they are a really healthy main course option (that DH and I have zero interest in eating -- we are having tacos for dinner and our kids hate tacos).

When we do hit on an item we all like, we obviously make it more often, but like I said this is mostly super simple pasta dishes, like spaghetti and meatballs, and we can't make them every single night.

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I think it's especially damaging for families who have picky eaters (which is not something you can control -- one of my kids is much picker than the other and it's just a personality thing) who feel a lot of pressure for their kids to eat "adult" foods and it's just not a reasonable epxtations for most kids. My two cents.

You’re underestimating your kids and just taking the route that is easier for you…hopefully, this is the only area you’re bagging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the advice to always serve your kids what the adults are eating. They don't want to eat it! We always put some of whatever we made on their plates but there are only a handful of things that we eat that they actually like and will eat more than a couple bites of (mostly simple pasta dishes). They don't complain, they just kind of eat around what we serve, fill up on milk and whatever carb is on the table, and that's it.

So I pretty much always serve them kid-friendly foods (healthy stuff -- yogurt and granola, pasta with simple pesto/red/butter sauce, a variety of fruits, whole grains, etc.) and they mostly just eat that. We always encourage them to try everything on the table unless it's an item they have an established aversion to. They will eat a bite of our main dish and will pick at some veggies, and then they fill up on a variety of the other stuff. It's all things that are easy to serve and we meal prep on the weekend, so it doesn't require extra effort. Though about once a week I'll also prep something I know they love and serve that as well. Like this week I did a batch of banana and oat pancakes that are easy to heat up and they love them plus they are a really healthy main course option (that DH and I have zero interest in eating -- we are having tacos for dinner and our kids hate tacos).

When we do hit on an item we all like, we obviously make it more often, but like I said this is mostly super simple pasta dishes, like spaghetti and meatballs, and we can't make them every single night.

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I think it's especially damaging for families who have picky eaters (which is not something you can control -- one of my kids is much picker than the other and it's just a personality thing) who feel a lot of pressure for their kids to eat "adult" foods and it's just not a reasonable epxtations for most kids. My two cents.

You’re underestimating your kids and just taking the route that is easier for you…hopefully, this is the only area you’re bagging.

Pleeez...
Come to the tweens and teens forum.
That's when you'll learn that most parents drop the rope on so many things. Even you. And then we finally learn to ignore the smug parents.

[Anonymous]

OP, just live and let live. If you want to serve your kids different food than what you’re eating, go for it. I don’t get why you feel the need to say it’s “better” or make some broad pronouncements about kid food preferences and how they learn to eat (there’s a great book called First Bite: How We Learn to Eat about this, and it contradicts what you’re saying).

Every family is different, every kid is different, every parent is different. It’s important to me that my kids can be full participants in family meals and that they enjoy eating a wide variety of foods. I really don’t care if you feel otherwise until you tell me your way is better. It’s just smug and annoying.

[Anonymous]

If what you are doing works for you, then godspeed, OP.

[Anonymous]

I do the same thing OP. I also just cringe so hard at the idea of making my child eat only what I want to eat or go hungry. I often refuse to make them something they request, but I'd never let them eat *only* what's on the table.

And I think parents of adventurous eaters give themselves too much credit. I have one kid who was downing kimchi and goat cheese (not together) at age 5 and another who, at age 10, still orders strictly off the kids' menu. I didn't raise them differently.

(Also I don't think not eating paella in Spain would make the trip any worse, other good "kid" options like bocadillos and perhaps even croquetas abound. Even I wouldn't eat a lot of Spanish food)

[Anonymous]

"I make my kids separate meals from us for pretty much every meal and I think it's better FOR US"

I fixed your title!

I was going to start my own thread, entitled "I make the same meal for my kids and ourselves pretty much every meal and I think it's better FOR US", but there's not much more to say. Except I like having to wash fewer dishes and I'm a huge fan of one pot meals and sheet pan meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just live and let live. If you want to serve your kids different food than what you’re eating, go for it. I don’t get why you feel the need to say it’s “better” or make some broad pronouncements about kid food preferences and how they learn to eat (there’s a great book called First Bite: How We Learn to Eat about this, and it contradicts what you’re saying).

Every family is different, every kid is different, every parent is different. It’s important to me that my kids can be full participants in family meals and that they enjoy eating a wide variety of foods. I really don’t care if you feel otherwise until you tell me your way is better. It’s just smug and annoying.

PP with the $3000 dollars of feeding therapy behind me (and counting). Yea, all families are different. It was important to me that my child didn’t end up on a feeding tube. I would literally give up a kidney to have my child enjoy a wide at of food and be comfortable in any social setting. You seriously don’t know how lucky you are for that to be an option for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two cents is that your kids eat a ton of sugar and hardly any protein.

Where are you getting this? Where is the sugar?

Pasta, fruit, grains, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just live and let live. If you want to serve your kids different food than what you’re eating, go for it. I don’t get why you feel the need to say it’s “better” or make some broad pronouncements about kid food preferences and how they learn to eat (there’s a great book called First Bite: How We Learn to Eat about this, and it contradicts what you’re saying).

Every family is different, every kid is different, every parent is different. It’s important to me that my kids can be full participants in family meals and that they enjoy eating a wide variety of foods. I really don’t care if you feel otherwise until you tell me your way is better. It’s just smug and annoying.

PP with the $3000 dollars of feeding therapy behind me (and counting). Yea, all families are different. It was important to me that my child didn’t end up on a feeding tube. I would literally give up a kidney to have my child enjoy a wide at of food and be comfortable in any social setting. You seriously don’t know how lucky you are for that to be an option for you.

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I do have some exposure to serious feeding challenges through family members, so yes, I do know how fortunate we are.. I don’t know how you read this as criticizing people who are experiencing serious issues like you are. My whole point is that everyone is doing the best they can and what works for them and that looks different for different families. OP came in here saying the way they feed their family is “better” than what other people do and that’s what rubbed me the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just live and let live. If you want to serve your kids different food than what you’re eating, go for it. I don’t get why you feel the need to say it’s “better” or make some broad pronouncements about kid food preferences and how they learn to eat (there’s a great book called First Bite: How We Learn to Eat about this, and it contradicts what you’re saying).

Every family is different, every kid is different, every parent is different. It’s important to me that my kids can be full participants in family meals and that they enjoy eating a wide variety of foods. I really don’t care if you feel otherwise until you tell me your way is better. It’s just smug and annoying.

PP with the $3000 dollars of feeding therapy behind me (and counting). Yea, all families are different. It was important to me that my child didn’t end up on a feeding tube. I would literally give up a kidney to have my child enjoy a wide at of food and be comfortable in any social setting. You seriously don’t know how lucky you are for that to be an option for you.

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I do have some exposure to serious feeding challenges through family members, so yes, I do know how fortunate we are.. I don’t know how you read this as criticizing people who are experiencing serious issues like you are. My whole point is that everyone is doing the best they can and what works for them and that looks different for different families. OP came in here saying the way they feed their family is “better” than what other people do and that’s what rubbed me the wrong way.

Wow can you really not understand how blathering on about how the big difference between you and the parents of people who struggle with this is because it’s IMPORTANT to you is not super tone deaf? Do you also interrupt conversations between women who are having infertility struggles and miscarriages to inform them how important it was to you to naturally conceive 7 children? Good grief. I feel terrible for anyone you talk to in real life who has struggles with feeding challenges. Get a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just live and let live. If you want to serve your kids different food than what you’re eating, go for it. I don’t get why you feel the need to say it’s “better” or make some broad pronouncements about kid food preferences and how they learn to eat (there’s a great book called First Bite: How We Learn to Eat about this, and it contradicts what you’re saying).

Every family is different, every kid is different, every parent is different. It’s important to me that my kids can be full participants in family meals and that they enjoy eating a wide variety of foods. I really don’t care if you feel otherwise until you tell me your way is better. It’s just smug and annoying.

PP with the $3000 dollars of feeding therapy behind me (and counting). Yea, all families are different. It was important to me that my child didn’t end up on a feeding tube. I would literally give up a kidney to have my child enjoy a wide at of food and be comfortable in any social setting. You seriously don’t know how lucky you are for that to be an option for you.

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I do have some exposure to serious feeding challenges through family members, so yes, I do know how fortunate we are.. I don’t know how you read this as criticizing people who are experiencing serious issues like you are. My whole point is that everyone is doing the best they can and what works for them and that looks different for different families. OP came in here saying the way they feed their family is “better” than what other people do and that’s what rubbed me the wrong way.

Wow can you really not understand how blathering on about how the big difference between you and the parents of people who struggle with this is because it’s IMPORTANT to you is not super tone deaf? Do you also interrupt conversations between women who are having infertility struggles and miscarriages to inform them how important it was to you to naturally conceive 7 children? Good grief. I feel terrible for anyone you talk to in real life who has struggles with feeding challenges. Get a clue.

NP maybe you are being defensive? Most kids don’t have such serious food issues as yours, their parents are simply lazy and willing to feed them chix nuggets every night.