I make my kids separate meals from us for pretty much every meal and I think it's better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know adults who grew up in with this food philosophy. They still eat chicken nuggets and order caterpillar rolls at sushi restaurants. Do what you like, OP, but many kids appreciate strong flavors and relish them. Tonight, my 8 and 11 year ate a chicken and tofu curry - sort of thai/Cambodian style, and papaya salad. We are Korean and I love spicy food, but my kids are next level when it comes to their love of spice. They’re normal kids who like trying new foods - most of the time they try something at a restaurant, love it, and then I make my own version at home. It’s fun for me too- I get to try my hand at Indian, middle eastern, Thai, Indonesian, Peruvian. Bland food is boring!

You don't know what "food philosophy" they were raised with though. I know some adults like this and of the ones for whom I know what their childhoods were like, they grew up either in poverty or in very rural, isolated places where their exposure to a variety of cuisines was really limited. I know lots of people who were picky eaters as kids and then developed more adventurous tastes later on. While your kids might enjoy strong flavors, many kids are averse to them until they get enough exposure or kind of "break in" their taste buds.

You could stand to be a little less smug, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

+1.

The issue is that a certain group of UMC striver types have made having a kid with an "adventurous palate" a mark of sophistication. They think they are being very cosmopolitan by bragging about what their kids eat. They are actually being elitist but whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not saying that everyone has to do it my way. I'm just saying that you never hear people say "just make your kids separate foods, its fine" and I have found it is fine.

But I've been told a million times, by pediatricians, teachers, friends, family, "Just feed them what you eat!" As though all kids just eat what adults eat no issue. But my kids have never done this, and when we've tried to do family dinners without substitutions, or even minimizing substitutions, it just leads to conflict. So I just decided that what matters is that they eat regularly healthy meals that hit all their nutritional needs, and it's not actually that important that they eat the exact same foods.

Obviously if your kid happily eats whatever you eat, this isn't an issue. But serving different food is way better than either arguing over eating the family meal or watching them eat the least nutritious version of that meal when there are plenty of nutritious foods they WILL eat.

People act like serving your kids "kid food" at a meal is a failure and it's really not. I personally think it would be a failure if my my kid was eating nothing but tortillas/rolls/bread/rice and milk for dinner every night, which is what would happen if I didn't offer an alternative to our adult foods.

How about the dozens if not hundreds of people who would say NOTHING TO YOU AT ALL ABOUT HOW TO RAISE YOUR KIDS, because we would never dream of offering unsolicited parenting advice! You haven’t heard “just do X” because real life is not DCUM, and well-mannered adults do what works for them, live their lives, and don’t offer advice unless specifically ASKED.

What are you talking about, people offer unsolicited parenting advice all the time. On DCUM a lot of the advice is actually solicited, even if it is also often rudely delivered. But this is neither here nor there on the question of whether you are required to feed your kids the food you yourself eat. This is a conversation, not a pissing match, and you are the one being rude by shouting in ALL CAPS. Dial it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I have every faith you know your own kids best, OP, and this may be true for them, but then to presume it's true for all kids is more than a bit of a stretch. I've known toddlers who grew up on spiced curries, and southwestern chiles, and who have adventurous palates, and some who do not.

You can say it's right for your kids without making rules about how it has to be for all the other kids, you know?

I am from a culture that is known for its very spicy dishes and even we start out serving the children milder food and gradually add the spice in. OP isn't necessarily wrong in this regard, she might have just said it in a weird way.

I have a South Indian friend, and her version of "mild" kid food is my version of "mouth on fire".

OP can do whatever she wants with her kids, but common sense does indicate that it will be easier for children to develop a varied palate if they are introduced to small tastes in childhood, than if they suddenly discover it as adults. Also, OP assumes that it's easy for a family to just cook several dishes. Perhaps it's not for some busy families.

So her kids eat food with a familiar flavor profile?

The idea that you think South Indians don't dote on their young children and put a lot of effort into getting them to eat is a little mind boggling.

[Anonymous]

You just don’ t want to deal with the hassle of getting them to eat what you are cooking. You do you but this creates boring, self-centered, entitled and unadventurous children. And nutritionally all the carbs and sugar and processed crap gets them addicted and they crave these limited repertoire of foods

[Anonymous]

Have fun with that.

My kids have always had what I have.
Presentation may have differed and I may hold a sauce or two but it is the same food: protein, veggie/fruit, and a carb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like PP’s point, but I believe the moral of the story here is to relax and not agonize too much over principles, but rather take a pragmatic approach.

Which in my house means no short order cooking.

Agree.

No “kids menu” at our house.

We cook healthy, well-balanced, nutritious meals, and our kids eat what we all eat as a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

Right, as an option. I guarantee that there is no law requiring people under a certain age eat "kid foods."

Nobody is saying that there is a culture with no kids that want less spicy options. And as people have been saying from the first replies in this thread, it's fine to use those. But why assert that that is ALL KIDS? Just make the right choices for your circumstances and keep your eyes on your own plates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I have every faith you know your own kids best, OP, and this may be true for them, but then to presume it's true for all kids is more than a bit of a stretch. I've known toddlers who grew up on spiced curries, and southwestern chiles, and who have adventurous palates, and some who do not.

You can say it's right for your kids without making rules about how it has to be for all the other kids, you know?

I am from a culture that is known for its very spicy dishes and even we start out serving the children milder food and gradually add the spice in. OP isn't necessarily wrong in this regard, she might have just said it in a weird way.

I have a South Indian friend, and her version of "mild" kid food is my version of "mouth on fire".

OP can do whatever she wants with her kids, but common sense does indicate that it will be easier for children to develop a varied palate if they are introduced to small tastes in childhood, than if they suddenly discover it as adults. Also, OP assumes that it's easy for a family to just cook several dishes. Perhaps it's not for some busy families.

Is there actually science behind this assertion? Because I grew up in a very “kid food” household eating Mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, etc. and now I eat basically every type of food under the sun. The main things that changed my palate were 1) with age I began enjoying food more in general (vs. just eating for sustenance) and 2) I traveled, moved around, made a variety of friends and became exposed to new foods. My parents did try to introduce me to new foods when I was little, but I thought basic baked salmon and broccoli was like the grossest thing ever.

I am so grateful my parents never made family dinners a battle and never told me I had to clean my plate. My mom was big on teaching me to listen to my body. I used to subsist on practically air and they never made me eat if not hungry. I now have a healthy relationship with food and am still a size 2 after having 3 kids. I learned the art of not eating if I’m not hungry or not enjoying something.

Also my DH is also an adventurous eater whereas his sister thinks even sushi is totally out there weird. They grew up in the same house, exposed to the same foods. So I’m skeptical that we have as much effect on our children’s future food likes as we think we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just don’ t want to deal with the hassle of getting them to eat what you are cooking. You do you but this creates boring, self-centered, entitled and unadventurous children. And nutritionally all the carbs and sugar and processed crap gets them addicted and they crave these limited repertoire of foods

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

+1.

The issue is that a certain group of UMC striver types have made having a kid with an "adventurous palate" a mark of sophistication. They think they are being very cosmopolitan by bragging about what their kids eat. They are actually being elitist but whatever.

The paste of true poverty is never picky. It requires a certain elitism to restrict your tastes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

+1.

The issue is that a certain group of UMC striver types have made having a kid with an "adventurous palate" a mark of sophistication. They think they are being very cosmopolitan by bragging about what their kids eat. They are actually being elitist but whatever.

The paste of true poverty is never picky. It requires a certain elitism to restrict your tastes.

*palate, that is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

You think you’re disproving my point but your links actually support it. Yes, kid foods in other countries like Spain don’t look the same as in the US and the UK like rice with tomato sauce. And just like the US, kids often do eat what the adults are eating. But yes, parents include kid friendly foods separate from adult oriented foods when they have young kids. Just like literally the whole globe.