I make my kids separate meals from us for pretty much every meal and I think it's better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I have every faith you know your own kids best, OP, and this may be true for them, but then to presume it's true for all kids is more than a bit of a stretch. I've known toddlers who grew up on spiced curries, and southwestern chiles, and who have adventurous palates, and some who do not.

You can say it's right for your kids without making rules about how it has to be for all the other kids, you know?

I am from a culture that is known for its very spicy dishes and even we start out serving the children milder food and gradually add the spice in. OP isn't necessarily wrong in this regard, she might have just said it in a weird way.

Okay. And some spicy food cultures don't do it that way. There's more than one of them, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I have every faith you know your own kids best, OP, and this may be true for them, but then to presume it's true for all kids is more than a bit of a stretch. I've known toddlers who grew up on spiced curries, and southwestern chiles, and who have adventurous palates, and some who do not.

You can say it's right for your kids without making rules about how it has to be for all the other kids, you know?

I am from a culture that is known for its very spicy dishes and even we start out serving the children milder food and gradually add the spice in. OP isn't necessarily wrong in this regard, she might have just said it in a weird way.

I have a South Indian friend, and her version of "mild" kid food is my version of "mouth on fire".

OP can do whatever she wants with her kids, but common sense does indicate that it will be easier for children to develop a varied palate if they are introduced to small tastes in childhood, than if they suddenly discover it as adults. Also, OP assumes that it's easy for a family to just cook several dishes. Perhaps it's not for some busy families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I have every faith you know your own kids best, OP, and this may be true for them, but then to presume it's true for all kids is more than a bit of a stretch. I've known toddlers who grew up on spiced curries, and southwestern chiles, and who have adventurous palates, and some who do not.

You can say it's right for your kids without making rules about how it has to be for all the other kids, you know?

I am from a culture that is known for its very spicy dishes and even we start out serving the children milder food and gradually add the spice in. OP isn't necessarily wrong in this regard, she might have just said it in a weird way.

I have a South Indian friend, and her version of "mild" kid food is my version of "mouth on fire".

OP can do whatever she wants with her kids, but common sense does indicate that it will be easier for children to develop a varied palate if they are introduced to small tastes in childhood, than if they suddenly discover it as adults. Also, OP assumes that it's easy for a family to just cook several dishes. Perhaps it's not for some busy families.

OP does introduce the repeated. The thread title does not represent what she describes. Sounds like sue makes several dishes, some are more palatable to her and her husband, others are more appealing to the kids. Each person eats what they want. This is not exactly cutting edge thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like PP’s point, but I believe the moral of the story here is to relax and not agonize too much over principles, but rather take a pragmatic approach.

Which in my house means no short order cooking.

+1

In our house there is just “food.” No such thing as “adult” or “kid” food.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the advice to always serve your kids what the adults are eating. They don't want to eat it! We always put some of whatever we made on their plates but there are only a handful of things that we eat that they actually like and will eat more than a couple bites of (mostly simple pasta dishes). They don't complain, they just kind of eat around what we serve, fill up on milk and whatever carb is on the table, and that's it.

So I pretty much always serve them kid-friendly foods (healthy stuff -- yogurt and granola, pasta with simple pesto/red/butter sauce, a variety of fruits, whole grains, etc.) and they mostly just eat that. We always encourage them to try everything on the table unless it's an item they have an established aversion to. They will eat a bite of our main dish and will pick at some veggies, and then they fill up on a variety of the other stuff. It's all things that are easy to serve and we meal prep on the weekend, so it doesn't require extra effort. Though about once a week I'll also prep something I know they love and serve that as well. Like this week I did a batch of banana and oat pancakes that are easy to heat up and they love them plus they are a really healthy main course option (that DH and I have zero interest in eating -- we are having tacos for dinner and our kids hate tacos).

When we do hit on an item we all like, we obviously make it more often, but like I said this is mostly super simple pasta dishes, like spaghetti and meatballs, and we can't make them every single night.

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

I think it's especially damaging for families who have picky eaters (which is not something you can control -- one of my kids is much picker than the other and it's just a personality thing) who feel a lot of pressure for their kids to eat "adult" foods and it's just not a reasonable epxtations for most kids. My two cents.

So you're a short order cook and the kids run the house.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am definitely not saying that everyone has to do it my way. I'm just saying that you never hear people say "just make your kids separate foods, its fine" and I have found it is fine.

But I've been told a million times, by pediatricians, teachers, friends, family, "Just feed them what you eat!" As though all kids just eat what adults eat no issue. But my kids have never done this, and when we've tried to do family dinners without substitutions, or even minimizing substitutions, it just leads to conflict. So I just decided that what matters is that they eat regularly healthy meals that hit all their nutritional needs, and it's not actually that important that they eat the exact same foods.

Obviously if your kid happily eats whatever you eat, this isn't an issue. But serving different food is way better than either arguing over eating the family meal or watching them eat the least nutritious version of that meal when there are plenty of nutritious foods they WILL eat.

People act like serving your kids "kid food" at a meal is a failure and it's really not. I personally think it would be a failure if my my kid was eating nothing but tortillas/rolls/bread/rice and milk for dinner every night, which is what would happen if I didn't offer an alternative to our adult foods.

[Anonymous]

I know adults who grew up in with this food philosophy. They still eat chicken nuggets and order caterpillar rolls at sushi restaurants. Do what you like, OP, but many kids appreciate strong flavors and relish them. Tonight, my 8 and 11 year ate a chicken and tofu curry - sort of thai/Cambodian style, and papaya salad. We are Korean and I love spicy food, but my kids are next level when it comes to their love of spice. They’re normal kids who like trying new foods - most of the time they try something at a restaurant, love it, and then I make my own version at home. It’s fun for me too- I get to try my hand at Indian, middle eastern, Thai, Indonesian, Peruvian. Bland food is boring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I"m just throwing this out there because I constantly hear the advice about how your kids should "eat what you eat." But they don't want to! It does't taste good to them -- they have brand new taste buds, so strong flavors are too much for them, plus kids naturally gravitate towards foods that are sweeter and simpler. I figure as they get older they will naturally become more interested in more adult flavors and start to eat more of our foods.

Of course they do. But for me, I felt it was important to introduce my kids to different types of sweetness. There is pasta sweet, cake sweet, tomato sweet, watermelon sweet. It's also important to realize that not all food tastes sweet. There's nothing wrong with simply prepared food--grilled/baked chicken + steamed vegetables = simple. I disagree with you that as they get older they naturally become more interested in adult flavors. Why should they change their eating habits as they become older if it's been working for them so far.

Both my husband and I were very picky eaters as kids. He was extremely picky -- I think he had years where he ate almost nothing but PB&J and would not even try other foods. I'd try foods but disliked a lot of foods, and was very limited in what textures and flavors I'd accept. Both of us spent years getting yelled at for not eating what was served at the dinner table and we both have memories of trying to eat what was served but literally gagging when we put some of the food in our mouths.

As adults, we both eat a wide range of foods including lots of spicy foods, bitter vegetables. My favorite adult food is salad with a spicy dressing, my husband loves sushi. These are things we would NEVER have eaten as kids. As we got older, we experimented more and our tastes naturally matured. We got bored with blander, sweeter kid foods. We also recognized the social benefits of having a more adventurous palate in college and after.

There are lots of reasons that kids palates change as they get older -- they have friends who eat other foods and want to fit in, they get bored, they travel. I think the goal is to teach your kids to have a willingness to try new things and not to limit themselves due to food (like I tell my DD that if she wants to be able to do sleepovers and have dinners at friends houses, she needs to be able to eat enough variety of foods that doing that won't mean going hungry, and that really motivates her to try new things). But it's okay for a kid to mostly gravitate towards "kid-friendly" foods when young and that absolutely does not mean that they won't develop a more sophisticated palate later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

+1
Agreed and the same experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not saying that everyone has to do it my way. I'm just saying that you never hear people say "just make your kids separate foods, its fine" and I have found it is fine.

But I've been told a million times, by pediatricians, teachers, friends, family, "Just feed them what you eat!" As though all kids just eat what adults eat no issue. But my kids have never done this, and when we've tried to do family dinners without substitutions, or even minimizing substitutions, it just leads to conflict. So I just decided that what matters is that they eat regularly healthy meals that hit all their nutritional needs, and it's not actually that important that they eat the exact same foods.

Obviously if your kid happily eats whatever you eat, this isn't an issue. But serving different food is way better than either arguing over eating the family meal or watching them eat the least nutritious version of that meal when there are plenty of nutritious foods they WILL eat.

People act like serving your kids "kid food" at a meal is a failure and it's really not. I personally think it would be a failure if my my kid was eating nothing but tortillas/rolls/bread/rice and milk for dinner every night, which is what would happen if I didn't offer an alternative to our adult foods.

I think it’s always great to find something healthy and easy that works for your family. Like the first PP said, no need to go from there to the huge leap you made re some supposed universal truth about what all kids like or don’t like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not saying that everyone has to do it my way. I'm just saying that you never hear people say "just make your kids separate foods, its fine" and I have found it is fine.

But I've been told a million times, by pediatricians, teachers, friends, family, "Just feed them what you eat!" As though all kids just eat what adults eat no issue. But my kids have never done this, and when we've tried to do family dinners without substitutions, or even minimizing substitutions, it just leads to conflict. So I just decided that what matters is that they eat regularly healthy meals that hit all their nutritional needs, and it's not actually that important that they eat the exact same foods.

Obviously if your kid happily eats whatever you eat, this isn't an issue. But serving different food is way better than either arguing over eating the family meal or watching them eat the least nutritious version of that meal when there are plenty of nutritious foods they WILL eat.

People act like serving your kids "kid food" at a meal is a failure and it's really not. I personally think it would be a failure if my my kid was eating nothing but tortillas/rolls/bread/rice and milk for dinner every night, which is what would happen if I didn't offer an alternative to our adult foods.

How about the dozens if not hundreds of people who would say NOTHING TO YOU AT ALL ABOUT HOW TO RAISE YOUR KIDS, because we would never dream of offering unsolicited parenting advice! You haven’t heard “just do X” because real life is not DCUM, and well-mannered adults do what works for them, live their lives, and don’t offer advice unless specifically ASKED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not saying that everyone has to do it my way. I'm just saying that you never hear people say "just make your kids separate foods, its fine" and I have found it is fine.

But I've been told a million times, by pediatricians, teachers, friends, family, "Just feed them what you eat!" As though all kids just eat what adults eat no issue. But my kids have never done this, and when we've tried to do family dinners without substitutions, or even minimizing substitutions, it just leads to conflict. So I just decided that what matters is that they eat regularly healthy meals that hit all their nutritional needs, and it's not actually that important that they eat the exact same foods.

Obviously if your kid happily eats whatever you eat, this isn't an issue. But serving different food is way better than either arguing over eating the family meal or watching them eat the least nutritious version of that meal when there are plenty of nutritious foods they WILL eat.

People act like serving your kids "kid food" at a meal is a failure and it's really not. I personally think it would be a failure if my my kid was eating nothing but tortillas/rolls/bread/rice and milk for dinner every night, which is what would happen if I didn't offer an alternative to our adult foods.

I mean, most people don’t have the time to make two different meals for kids vs. adults or if they do, don’t find it a worthwhile use of limited time. If your kids will try other foods outside of the house, great, but limited meals can be very problematic when they’re older and at a friend’s house, camp, whatever, and freak out because they don’t have a very specific food. As for two meals being better than arguing - most people find the latter doesn’t persist. It’s not like every single meal is a battle for all eternity. It’s like sleep-training: short-term pain for long-term gain.

[Anonymous]

my mom never made me a different meal, and i never did for my kids.

people these days cater to picky kids to the point that all they will eat is chicken nuggets and pizza, and i think that is a mistake.

i have no problem trying to include things kids like in the meal, but i don't believe you have to cook everything kid-friendly meals and i am definitely not making a separate meal for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know adults who grew up in with this food philosophy. They still eat chicken nuggets and order caterpillar rolls at sushi restaurants. Do what you like, OP, but many kids appreciate strong flavors and relish them. Tonight, my 8 and 11 year ate a chicken and tofu curry - sort of thai/Cambodian style, and papaya salad. We are Korean and I love spicy food, but my kids are next level when it comes to their love of spice. They’re normal kids who like trying new foods - most of the time they try something at a restaurant, love it, and then I make my own version at home. It’s fun for me too- I get to try my hand at Indian, middle eastern, Thai, Indonesian, Peruvian. Bland food is boring!

You were feeding your toddlers restaurant food and spicy food regularly? You sound terrible

[Anonymous]

No issues with the OP’s approach since she is feeding her kids homemade nutritious foods. 1000x better than the frozen-chicken-nuggets-boxed-Mac-and-cheese-microwaved-string-beans crowd.

We made our kids less spicy versions of our food when they were toddlers and they graduated to the same level of spice when they were about 5.