New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

I don't now if I qualify as high earning, I make 155 k in an HR role in government, I have great benefits, pension and I WFH 4 days a week. DH makes 700 k+ , a lot more than me but is ten times busier, I can take more of the household workload and we outsource cleaning and yard maintenance. I guess plenty of couples like us exist or even in vice-versa roles.

Pooling resources works for the greater good of the family and he is never stressed that he is a sole earner.

[Anonymous]

Men may want all of that but the’ll settle for a nice pair of bewbs.

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s a thing and has been for a while. Sadly I don’t think it’s good for sex lives or children. It may be good for passing money along to kids, but it’s limited to things like that. It turns a marriage into a rather business like transaction. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, yes. I think this observation has been being made for a while now.

Note that men want high-earning women, but they still often want a woman who earns slightly less, and they want her to deal with all of the childcare, cooking, and housekeeping responsibilities too. So while more men are looking for women who don't want to be SAHMs, more women are looking for men who want a situation that is more fair. I think more women now want to be SAHMs than my generation did.

Yes, men want both. Having high earning wife is great when they don't have kids. Once kids come, they want the wife to take care of everything. That is why, if you have a high earning husband, they often will give in and support their wives to become a SAHM, because that takes homecare, eldercare, childcare, petcare from their plates. And the rich husbands also support their SAHM wives in outsourcing the menial jobs.

They will pay whatever it takes so that they don't have to do anything other than their office work. Sorry, but, no sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it’s a thing and has been for a while. Sadly I don’t think it’s good for sex lives or children. It may be good for passing money along to kids, but it’s limited to things like that. It turns a marriage into a rather business like transaction. Ask me how I know.

My wife and I have high earning careers and still have great sex. We don’t combine the two - like have sex on a money mattress or anything but maybe we can give that a shot.

Just because someone (male or female) has a career doesn’t mean they’re ugly, bad in bed or low libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, yes. I think this observation has been being made for a while now.

Note that men want high-earning women, but they still often want a woman who earns slightly less, and they want her to deal with all of the childcare, cooking, and housekeeping responsibilities too. So while more men are looking for women who don't want to be SAHMs, more women are looking for men who want a situation that is more fair. I think more women now want to be SAHMs than my generation did.

Yes, men want both. Having high earning wife is great when they don't have kids. Once kids come, they want the wife to take care of everything. That is why, if you have a high earning husband, they often will give in and support their wives to become a SAHM, because that takes homecare, eldercare, childcare, petcare from their plates. And the rich husbands also support their SAHM wives in outsourcing the menial jobs.

They will pay whatever it takes so that they don't have to do anything other than their office work. Sorry, but, no sorry.

This is the truth. DH wanted me to work until he realized that HE would have to do more domestic chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

This. Men have been interested in high earning professional women for a while now. The women may become SAHMs, but they start out as professionals. The issue is that the domestic divide is uneven between husbands and wives who both work. It's been documented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, yes. I think this observation has been being made for a while now.

Note that men want high-earning women, but they still often want a woman who earns slightly less, and they want her to deal with all of the childcare, cooking, and housekeeping responsibilities too. So while more men are looking for women who don't want to be SAHMs, more women are looking for men who want a situation that is more fair. I think more women now want to be SAHMs than my generation did.

Yes, men want both. Having high earning wife is great when they don't have kids. Once kids come, they want the wife to take care of everything. That is why, if you have a high earning husband, they often will give in and support their wives to become a SAHM, because that takes homecare, eldercare, childcare, petcare from their plates. And the rich husbands also support their SAHM wives in outsourcing the menial jobs.

They will pay whatever it takes so that they don't have to do anything other than their office work. Sorry, but, no sorry.

This. The problems come when they don't earn enough to outsource his share or have the mom stay home. I've seen this over and over. The happiest couples seem to be the high earner husband with the SAHM. Anything else sucks for either the wife or the kids. Or both. I wish I understood this 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, yes. I think this observation has been being made for a while now.

Note that men want high-earning women, but they still often want a woman who earns slightly less, and they want her to deal with all of the childcare, cooking, and housekeeping responsibilities too. So while more men are looking for women who don't want to be SAHMs, more women are looking for men who want a situation that is more fair. I think more women now want to be SAHMs than my generation did.

Yes, men want both. Having high earning wife is great when they don't have kids. Once kids come, they want the wife to take care of everything. That is why, if you have a high earning husband, they often will give in and support their wives to become a SAHM, because that takes homecare, eldercare, childcare, petcare from their plates. And the rich husbands also support their SAHM wives in outsourcing the menial jobs.

They will pay whatever it takes so that they don't have to do anything other than their office work. Sorry, but, no sorry.

This. The problems come when they don't earn enough to outsource his share or have the mom stay home. I've seen this over and over. The happiest couples seem to be the high earner husband with the SAHM. Anything else sucks for either the wife or the kids. Or both. I wish I understood this 20 years ago.

Eh, plenty of happy couples where both parents work full time, but there has to be some balance of flexibility on both ends and one parent isn't constantly getting the shaft and taking care of 100% of the menial sh*t that can't be outsourced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men don’t want failure to launch kids with executive functioning issues, so they are getting more careful with who they pick as mothers of their kids. Life is getting more complicated, so hot is not enough anymore.

And what are the men doing again?

[Anonymous]

Todays Men are lazy and want to play video games so need a high paying wife.

[Anonymous]

The ideal setup is a woman who earns a high enough salary to have a cushion and financial security while still being flexible.

Obviously she’s rare but I know a few busy execs married to women with wfh flexible jobs who earn like 250k a year.

If you can pull this arrangement you win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uh, yes. I think this observation has been being made for a while now.

Note that men want high-earning women, but they still often want a woman who earns slightly less, and they want her to deal with all of the childcare, cooking, and housekeeping responsibilities too. So while more men are looking for women who don't want to be SAHMs, more women are looking for men who want a situation that is more fair. I think more women now want to be SAHMs than my generation did.

Yes, men want both. Having high earning wife is great when they don't have kids. Once kids come, they want the wife to take care of everything. That is why, if you have a high earning husband, they often will give in and support their wives to become a SAHM, because that takes homecare, eldercare, childcare, petcare from their plates. And the rich husbands also support their SAHM wives in outsourcing the menial jobs.

They will pay whatever it takes so that they don't have to do anything other than their office work. Sorry, but, no sorry.

This. The problems come when they don't earn enough to outsource his share or have the mom stay home. I've seen this over and over. The happiest couples seem to be the high earner husband with the SAHM. Anything else sucks for either the wife or the kids. Or both. I wish I understood this 20 years ago.

No the happiest I see are the spouses who both have good flexible wfh jobs and shared responsibilities. I know a few couples like this and they are very happy.

[Anonymous]

In high cost of living areas, even high earning men want a woman who works. It’s not sustainable to live on one income unless you have family money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't now if I qualify as high earning, I make 155 k in an HR role in government, I have great benefits, pension and I WFH 4 days a week. DH makes 700 k+ , a lot more than me but is ten times busier, I can take more of the household workload and we outsource cleaning and yard maintenance. I guess plenty of couples like us exist or even in vice-versa roles.

Pooling resources works for the greater good of the family and he is never stressed that he is a sole earner.

Yeah I have a DH who is a sales exec and I work in tech but choose to stay one rung down from senior leadership. DH is busier and has to be in office some while I wfh