New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

I'm encouraging my teen to look for high earning women as he goes into adulthood. He's a lovely person, kind, empathetic, responsible, honest, creative and diligent but who knows if he'll be a high earner. So, get thee to the gym, we say, and try to snag a high earning spouse while you still have that six pack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just that, really “Type A” women tend to stay more fit.

It’s this

In Italy, where being fit and thin has way less to do with socioeconomics, no one cares if you are “high earning”.

Being a hot sahm is the dream/goal.

In anglo countries, due to body weight being linked to socio-economic status, interest in professional women is greater because professional women are less sloppy

Of course a ‘hot sahm’ is the dream/goal in Italy. It’s one of the least egalitarian countries in Europe. You need to look at the Scandinavian countries for gender equality. There are not looking for hot SAHMs over there.

the working class in northern and central Italy are prettier than working class in Scandinavia.

If you actually lived in Europe, you know that the whole “hot Swedish blonde” thing is not as common as you think and it is far more linked to sócio-economic status (not as much as it is in anglo countries) but the looks distribution in Scandinavia is not as equal with respect to ses level as it is in Italy or Spain.

Norway and Denmark is not really attractive. So the whole “hot scandi” thing is really a subset of Swedes.

Also, if you leave scandi and stay in Northern Europe, NL is considered “gender equal” by lot of foreigners but NL women loathe to be gunners at work. It’s all about part time jobs and relaxing/enjoying life.

Something tells me you haven’t lived in Europe

Not that PP but I lived in northern Italy for years and you have clearly never stepped foot in the place.

Where? I live in verbania part time and in the past lived in torino, Bergamo in the north (and arona but that was for a short period).

I lived primarily in Bologna. And I do not believe you’ve ever lived in northern Italy. Or perhaps you lived there, but don’t speak Italian and have never had a conversation with an Italian woman.

that’s mainly a university town and dc people in Bologna are more often than not linked with sais in Bologna.

Bologna is known for being a lot more left than Piemonte or lombardia. A lot lot more. It’s one of the most leftist cities in Italy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with wealthy men, and yea, that’s exactly what everyone wants now.

Ideal is to find some sort of Influencer, so she’s hot, has money, and doesn’t work a ton of hours.

An influencer can’t make much money past a certain age. If you want someone to share the financial load long-term, that doesn’t seem ideal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just that, really “Type A” women tend to stay more fit.

It’s this

In Italy, where being fit and thin has way less to do with socioeconomics, no one cares if you are “high earning”.

Being a hot sahm is the dream/goal.

In anglo countries, due to body weight being linked to socio-economic status, interest in professional women is greater because professional women are less sloppy

Of course a ‘hot sahm’ is the dream/goal in Italy. It’s one of the least egalitarian countries in Europe. You need to look at the Scandinavian countries for gender equality. There are not looking for hot SAHMs over there.

the working class in northern and central Italy are prettier than working class in Scandinavia.

If you actually lived in Europe, you know that the whole “hot Swedish blonde” thing is not as common as you think and it is far more linked to sócio-economic status (not as much as it is in anglo countries) but the looks distribution in Scandinavia is not as equal with respect to ses level as it is in Italy or Spain.

Norway and Denmark is not really attractive. So the whole “hot scandi” thing is really a subset of Swedes.

Also, if you leave scandi and stay in Northern Europe, NL is considered “gender equal” by lot of foreigners but NL women loathe to be gunners at work. It’s all about part time jobs and relaxing/enjoying life.

Something tells me you haven’t lived in Europe

Not that PP but I lived in northern Italy for years and you have clearly never stepped foot in the place.

Where? I live in verbania part time and in the past lived in torino, Bergamo in the north (and arona but that was for a short period).

I lived primarily in Bologna. And I do not believe you’ve ever lived in northern Italy. Or perhaps you lived there, but don’t speak Italian and have never had a conversation with an Italian woman.

that’s mainly a university town and dc people in Bologna are more often than not linked with sais in Bologna.

Bologna is known for being a lot more left than Piemonte or lombardia. A lot lot more. It’s one of the most leftist cities in Italy.

Bologna is known for being one of the wealthiest cities in northern Italy, my ignorant friend.

Also, you avoided the truth, which is that you don’t speak Italian and don’t have conversations with Italian women.

[Anonymous]

I’m a type a, ivy educated SAHM. When we got married, I earned more than DH. Now I stay home and Dh earns $2-3m per year.

Often the women who don’t have ambitions more than being a SAHM do not land the high earning husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with wealthy men, and yea, that’s exactly what everyone wants now.

Ideal is to find some sort of Influencer, so she’s hot, has money, and doesn’t work a ton of hours.

Many of the influencers (and people on social media a lot) have mental health issues. Remains to be seen if social influencers will make great partners and parents.

The guys I knew who dated influencer types thought it was annoying how the girl alwahs had to take pictures everywhere. I can’t think of anyone who married one but I’m 40. I don’t know one guy who would want a woman who lives on social media.

Maybe now the twenty something influencer is marriage material?

[Anonymous]

10 years ago when I was in law school men already wanted high earners. We had mixers with the med school and dozens of weddings for two classmates. DCUM is 1) very behind the times 2) full of red pillers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a type a, ivy educated SAHM. When we got married, I earned more than DH. Now I stay home and Dh earns $2-3m per year.

Often the women who don’t have ambitions more than being a SAHM do not land the high earning husbands.

Good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a type a, ivy educated SAHM. When we got married, I earned more than DH. Now I stay home and Dh earns $2-3m per year.

Often the women who don’t have ambitions more than being a SAHM do not land the high earning husbands.

+1 DH needed my income on his way up. Now we don’t so I SAH/work very part time. But if I had been a SAHM from the jump he would have had to make major lifestyle and even career-building sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with wealthy men, and yea, that’s exactly what everyone wants now.

Ideal is to find some sort of Influencer, so she’s hot, has money, and doesn’t work a ton of hours.

An influencer can’t make much money past a certain age. If you want someone to share the financial load long-term, that doesn’t seem ideal

There is no substitution for a good education.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think its slightly different -- high earning, well educated men want women with similar levels of education. They don't want an undereducated (relatively speaking) woman to have children with and to raise their children. This means highly educated men marry highly educated women, who, not surprisingly, often end up in well paying careers. So, it's the education that really matters, not the high salary. HLS big law partners are going to marry similarly educated women, who may also end up in big law and earn $$$, but who often end up in lower paid positions (e.g., at NGOs, fed govt, etc.) after kids due to the time demands. The SAHMs who never end up going back are not the ones with JDs from HLS or PhDs from Chicago...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been known for awhile now, especially to those in these circles already. But people on here, seemingly outside the circle, want to delude themselves into some fantasy that the rich successful guy is going to pick the broke barista because she's kind and cute. No, like marries like.

Assortative dating/mating. It's been around for awhile and isn't going anywhere. The people on DCUM who bring up these baristas (why always baristas?) With cute smiles as male preference are not with the times. Those are real outlier situations now.

Assortative mating is real but there are still plenty of rich guys who marry women with high earning *potential* who then leave the workforce and SAH. I know dozens of dual-lawyer couples like this - they're both partner track, she shifts to an NGO or trade association after the first kid and stays home for good after the second. He makes partner because she takes the bulk of house stuff off his shoulders. Their kids are trilingual by Kindergarten because the mom with 7+ years of higher education funnels all that mental energy into them instead of a job. It's still assortative mating but it's not actually searching for another paycheck.

+1. I think for most men, it’s about the woman’s education level (as a way of like marrying like, assumed similar values etc.), not about the career she keeps long term. Effectively, it’s wanting to marry a woman that is as eager for her kids to go to Harvard (as opposed to say, a party school).

[Anonymous]

I have dated several divorced dads whose exes are in varying stages of now being well off economically. The main thing I would tell my sons if I had them would be to marry a woman who has her sh&t together career wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dated several divorced dads whose exes are in varying stages of now being well off economically. The main thing I would tell my sons if I had them would be to marry a woman who has her sh&t together career wise.

I need more of this advice. So, if I want my sons to marry high earners, which I do, they'll have to be highly educated, high earners themselves? Ugh... I mean, we can do highly educated. DOn't know about the high earner part.

Can't solid abs be enough to get this gig?

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree with OP, but I think it depends on the age of the guy. Dating career oriented women is a double edged sword because they tend to be a PITA and don't have balanced lives. When you put everything into your career, something has to give. So older guys with money will tend to go after women with better personalities and looks. Most of these guys have been taken to the cleaners during a divorce, so they aren't looking to marry if they're smart.

But younger guys have a different mindset and are fully aware that the days of supporting a family on one income is a thing of the past. And many are aware that being the breadwinner in a relationship is risky because you have a 50% chance of losing your ass in a divorce.