is DH being an unreasonable brat, or am i stressed and being too sensitve?

[Anonymous]

It’s like having a wedding and then asking the bride and groom to flip the burgers. The two of you should handle the final arrangements and both of you enjoy the guests that flew in to see you.

[Anonymous]

Why is this celebration requiring so much labor day-of, and especially during, the event? Seems like poor planning not to choose a venue to could be largely self-executing when you knew you would have childcare and other issues that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s like having a wedding and then asking the bride and groom to flip the burgers. The two of you should handle the final arrangements and both of you enjoy the guests that flew in to see you.

+1
Sorry OP but give him the weekend, and if you want to have fun, hire help.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. I am a DW and I am with your DH on this one. He is the guest of honor. As such he should not be asked to do anything that you can outsource. I also agree with you that your guests should not be asked to help. The only time I would expect your DH to help if you were strapped for cash and had to DIY. This does not seem to be the case. In anycase, you, your DH and your guests should not be running around during the event to make things happen. You should just enjoy the evening. Why should anyone be looking after the kids? You need childcare.

I agree that you need a day of coordinator and you need childcare. Outsource, outsource, outsource.

You are stressed and are sensitive. You must understand the personality of your DH and come to the realization that he acts like this. It seems that you guys do not do big celebrations routinely and so you are blindsided. But, now you know.

An important thing - you are doing a whole lot of work to do something really special for your husband. You have already done 90% of the work. Now, for the last 10%, do it gracefully so that he can be thankful of your effort. Don't mess it up by fighting with him. Handle it with grace.

[Anonymous]

I am also a wife and mother. Although your DH's wording might have been insensitive, I think he was right to express in advance that he would not be available to monitor the children during his big event. It would be far worse if, during the party, he told you to get the kids out of his face because he was hanging with his frat buddies.

There are a ton of small companies that will help organize and run your party so you can enjoy the event. Many work on short notice. It also shouldn't be a big deal to hire a teenager or young adult to corral the kids at the event, or watch them in your home if it would be better if they weren't there at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my biggest pet peeves is grown adults who expect to be fawned over like a child on a birthday or other big occasion. I can’t stand the days of dinners and parties and expecting to not lift a finger. Grow up.

This is so right. I'm embarrassed for OP's husband. What a dork.

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds like a jerk. He should be grateful to have a supportive dw.

[Anonymous]

Are people scolding OP for not hiring or outsourcing missing the part where her husband doesn’t want her to? So to recap, he hints he wants to be celebrated, she obliged, said it happily turned larger but she needs some extra help and he said it won’t be him and it can’t be anyone not a guest at the party. That’s a brat right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people scolding OP for not hiring or outsourcing missing the part where her husband doesn’t want her to? So to recap, he hints he wants to be celebrated, she obliged, said it happily turned larger but she needs some extra help and he said it won’t be him and it can’t be anyone not a guest at the party. That’s a brat right there.

All of this.


I’m a DW who works with young kids. I think it is unreasonable for your DH to want the world to revolve around him. Even for a weekend. I’m sorry, but that just doesn’t really happen anymore. And it should have never been your job to plan and host on top of having the kids, in a month with holiday planning to boot. Next time he gets to go for a guy’s trip for the weekend and he and his friends can plan the s*t out of that themselves. Also you definitely get time off after this.

In the meantime — hire tons of help. Cleaning before the party, extra babysitting, clean up after, people to help manage the event. Bill it to him. He wanted this, was too lazy to plan, and had you do it. You should have fun this weekend and not need to do anything. Screw him. If he looks resentfully at you while others are helping out, raise your champagne in his direction, give him a wink, and chirp “congrats, babe!”

[Anonymous]

He is a man being celebrated. When the ego is stroked, it grows...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a huge dork.

I’d love to know what the milestone is. If this guy’s putting all this together because he made partner at a law firm or something like that, you should leave him.

Also what kind of straight man orchestrates a celebration of himself? That’s for teenage girls and gays. Get him a feather boa for the evening.

This. Are people flying in to celebrate him making partner?! I hope he won a Nobel prize or something, but o don’t think you’d call that a milestone. This seems way over the top. I’m embarrassed for him that he is so me, me, me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a huge dork.

I’d love to know what the milestone is. If this guy’s putting all this together because he made partner at a law firm or something like that, you should leave him.

Also what kind of straight man orchestrates a celebration of himself? That’s for teenage girls and gays. Get him a feather boa for the evening.

This. Are people flying in to celebrate him making partner?! I hope he won a Nobel prize or something, but o don’t think you’d call that a milestone. This seems way over the top. I’m embarrassed for him that he is so me, me, me.

My husband became a partner at a top ten law firm and I don't think he told anyone. He also bought me a present as a thank you gift. OP's husband is a dork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people scolding OP for not hiring or outsourcing missing the part where her husband doesn’t want her to? So to recap, he hints he wants to be celebrated, she obliged, said it happily turned larger but she needs some extra help and he said it won’t be him and it can’t be anyone not a guest at the party. That’s a brat right there.

We don’t know how she presented the idea of outsourcing to her spouse. There is a big difference between, “I totally understand your desire to spend the weekend with your friends and family you haven’t seen in a while. I’ll hire a sitter so you can relax and enjoy the weekend,” and “Fine, if you can’t be bothered to help me with one little thing that weekend, I’ll just have to hire help. I don’t know where we’ll find the money for that but *big sigh* I guess we can cut the grocery budget for a few weeks.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a huge dork.

I’d love to know what the milestone is. If this guy’s putting all this together because he made partner at a law firm or something like that, you should leave him.

Also what kind of straight man orchestrates a celebration of himself? That’s for teenage girls and gays. Get him a feather boa for the evening.

This. Are people flying in to celebrate him making partner?! I hope he won a Nobel prize or something, but o don’t think you’d call that a milestone. This seems way over the top. I’m embarrassed for him that he is so me, me, me.

My husband became a partner at a top ten law firm and I don't think he told anyone. He also bought me a present as a thank you gift. OP's husband is a dork.

I’m a lawyer (not at a firm) and I’ve had many friends make partner at firms and not one had a party. Yet I feel like that’s what this is. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a huge dork.

I’d love to know what the milestone is. If this guy’s putting all this together because he made partner at a law firm or something like that, you should leave him.

Also what kind of straight man orchestrates a celebration of himself? That’s for teenage girls and gays. Get him a feather boa for the evening.

This. Are people flying in to celebrate him making partner?! I hope he won a Nobel prize or something, but o don’t think you’d call that a milestone. This seems way over the top. I’m embarrassed for him that he is so me, me, me.

My husband became a partner at a top ten law firm and I don't think he told anyone. He also bought me a present as a thank you gift. OP's husband is a dork.

Yea but you had to be sure to tell us all it was top ten. So you’re a dork too.