I keep missing work due to illnesses (mine and kids)-will I get fired?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

Is there really no one else that can deliver the training? A peer or your boss?

Coughs linger forever post sickness so generally skipping the training for a cough doesn’t make sense. But what you’re saying about coughing up green phlegm means you’re actively sick. Hopefully your doctor can prescribe something to treat you AND can state that you need a minimum 7 days off for treatment.

Have you requested FMLA yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

1. That totally sucks and I’m so sorry.

2. Go do the training. Wear a N95 mask, and mention at the beginning of the session that you’re getting over a cold (Covid negative!) and don’t want to get everyone sick. If you’re presenting from a distance, take the mask off for your presentation (so people can hear you).

3. Talk to your manager about taking Friday off to recover.

[Anonymous]

As someone with an infant at home who I desperately hope to keep as healthy as possible during this awful illness season, I would be so angry if I was forced to attend an in-person training at work and one of the presenters was clearly visibly ill.

I’m not judging OP. I understand the pressure you’re facing, and I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! I’m judging our employers and the work culture in this region. I hoped that one of the lessons of the pandemic would be greater acceptance of people working from home when sick, but that just hasn’t been the case when an illness coincides with an “important” work obligation IME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is your kids other parent and why aren’t they involved in caring for the kids when they are ill?

Even if you have sick or PTO time, yes you can be fired for performance reasons like your missing deadlines.

If your child’s SN qualify for FMLA, I would encourage you to file so that you have the job protection. You could use it intermittently. And if you are running on empty it might be a good idea to take a chunk up front to recover and then switch to intermittent leave.

+1

Address this now - take a few weeks, focus on getting healthy and resting so you don't totally burnout! That way you are communicating to your boss you are aware of the issue and are proactively addressing it, that this isn't just going to be the new normal for you (hopefully) or that the reason isn't that you don't care any more and are giving up. It looks worse to have ongoing issues for weeks at a time than for you to frame this as a single episode that you need to address and can come back and return to something closer to your previous work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny that can take the kids to the doctor. Full stop.

Yes, one or two days a week for six weeks is insane and it looks really really bad, even if you otherwise haven’t taken time off since June.

Do people really have hired help that can do this? At pediatricians, you have to sign a document saying you are the parent or legal guardian and have authorization to approve medical evaluation and possibly prescribe treatment. They also need someone who can sign for insurance information. How do you get the nanny to sign to authorize medical treatment and provide insurance information and signature? It doesn't sound legal to have a non-guardian do this unless you have legal guardian paperwork for the nanny?

[Anonymous]

OP...not getting consistent and regular sleep is draining your own personal resources. You can only push your body so far before it starts to break down and that is what it sounds like it happening to you. I would recommend at a minimum that you take a week off and you spend the daytime hours while the nanny is working and caring for the kids to rest and nap and recharge your personal battery. You will find that once you get some real rest that your own resilience will be better. You'll stop catching every cold that walks by you or that your kids catch. You'll be able to start a day without feeling completely drained before you've started. You won't collapse in a nap in the middle of your work day and so on. You have been burning the candle at both ends and in the middle for so long, that there is no spare energy available. So you need time off and you need time off when someone else (e.g. nanny) is caring for the kids. If you have to take the kids to the doctor, during your week off, take them to the pediatric urgent care whenever you are awake. Do not change your sleep schedule around it. Unless the kids have a fever, they can go a few hours while you sleep and you can take them to urgent care when you are awake. As my doctor always tells me, you have to remember to take care of yourself so that you are healthy enough to take care of your family. You pushing yourself to the point of sickness will not help your family out and usually will take you longer to recover than if you did preemptive self-care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny that can take the kids to the doctor. Full stop.

Yes, one or two days a week for six weeks is insane and it looks really really bad, even if you otherwise haven’t taken time off since June.

Do people really have hired help that can do this? At pediatricians, you have to sign a document saying you are the parent or legal guardian and have authorization to approve medical evaluation and possibly prescribe treatment. They also need someone who can sign for insurance information. How do you get the nanny to sign to authorize medical treatment and provide insurance information and signature? It doesn't sound legal to have a non-guardian do this unless you have legal guardian paperwork for the nanny?

No, either your pediatrician is insane or you don't have kids. You sign all that paperwork the first time you go to a new Dr, not every appointment!

My whole childhood my nanny took me to all my Dr/dentist/orthodontist appointments, unless it was something really serious and my Mom felt like she needed to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

Are you familiar with...cough medicine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

1. That totally sucks and I’m so sorry.

2. Go do the training. Wear a N95 mask, and mention at the beginning of the session that you’re getting over a cold (Covid negative!) and don’t want to get everyone sick. If you’re presenting from a distance, take the mask off for your presentation (so people can hear you).

3. Talk to your manager about taking Friday off to recover.

I agree with this PP. I also am so sorry you have to make this choice. You shouldn't and if you weren't already feeling like you were pushing up against limits, I'd tell you to stay home, but in situations like these sometimes showing up sends a message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

Are you familiar with...cough medicine?

Op here. Yes. Already taking max dose of multiple OTC cold meds, including cough medicine.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird you wouldn’t attend a training with someone senior because of a cough. I’d just wear a mask and warn the person ahead of time that I have a cough but do not have Covid or a fever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny that can take the kids to the doctor. Full stop.

Yes, one or two days a week for six weeks is insane and it looks really really bad, even if you otherwise haven’t taken time off since June.

Do people really have hired help that can do this? At pediatricians, you have to sign a document saying you are the parent or legal guardian and have authorization to approve medical evaluation and possibly prescribe treatment. They also need someone who can sign for insurance information. How do you get the nanny to sign to authorize medical treatment and provide insurance information and signature? It doesn't sound legal to have a non-guardian do this unless you have legal guardian paperwork for the nanny?

No, either your pediatrician is insane or you don't have kids. You sign all that paperwork the first time you go to a new Dr, not every appointment!

My whole childhood my nanny took me to all my Dr/dentist/orthodontist appointments, unless it was something really serious and my Mom felt like she needed to be there.

Op here. I really don’t know anyone who uses their nanny this way. I’m sure that some people must do this but I do think it’s rare. Given my my DC’s SN, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with this. I mean maybe for something routine like an ear infection or a vaccine but a lot of the medical stuff we deal with requires quite a bit of tenacity and engagement. I’m sure there are Nannie’s who could do this but they probably make way more than we could afford. As it is, a nanny is a massive expense for us and we can barely afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

Are you familiar with...cough medicine?

Op here. Yes. Already taking max dose of multiple OTC cold meds, including cough medicine.

Get a prescription for tessalon perles. They numb your cough reflex. So helpful when you have to work through a cough and don't have an alternative. (I'm one of the PPs who is encouraging you to take leave asap, btw.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny that can take the kids to the doctor. Full stop.

Yes, one or two days a week for six weeks is insane and it looks really really bad, even if you otherwise haven’t taken time off since June.

Do people really have hired help that can do this? At pediatricians, you have to sign a document saying you are the parent or legal guardian and have authorization to approve medical evaluation and possibly prescribe treatment. They also need someone who can sign for insurance information. How do you get the nanny to sign to authorize medical treatment and provide insurance information and signature? It doesn't sound legal to have a non-guardian do this unless you have legal guardian paperwork for the nanny?

Huh? My parents (different last name than my kids) take my kids to tons of appointments. In fact, they took my dd to urgent care even. Not one person has ever asked if they had guardianship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here again with a real time problem that illustrates this situation.

I’m scheduled to give an in person training to a group of 20 people on Thursday. This has been in the works for months and the SVP of my group is flying in to do it with me. The VP doesn’t know this subject well at all and I’m the subject matter expert. We already had to reschedule this training once.

The audience is in a group that is mandatory in person and they will not support a remote training.

I currently have a terrible cough. The kind where my whole body is involved and I cannot control the coughing fits, I’m
hacking up green phlegm, and I even pee myself every time I cough. I have a doc appointment this afternoon. I tested negative for covid at home.

The SVP has already given me a hard time in the past for a conference I had to miss due to Illness a few months ago. This VP is older and has no children, so he really doesn’t get it.

I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can’t cancel the training but going forward while hacking up a lung doesn’t feel right either.

So what do I do here?

Are you familiar with...cough medicine?

Op here. Yes. Already taking max dose of multiple OTC cold meds, including cough medicine.

OP, what did your doctor say? Were you able yo get a medical note for a leave of absence.