Is 58 too old for 38?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 58 and 38 is more easily done than 70 and 50. Or even 65 and 45. People’s energy levels go down significantly, and even a “high energy” 65 year old is not on the same plane as a 45 year old. There’s no way I’d go for this as a long-term thing personally.

BUT I get it, love is powerful. If you’re okay with sacrificing for the man you love in a few years, go for it. But realize it will be a difficult road and it wouldn’t be fair to resent him!

When my 82-year-old uncle got a pacemaker put in, his energy levels returned to those he had when he was 40.

I’m sure your uncle is a lovely, sprightly man for his age. But, bullsh*t!

[Anonymous]

I can't get over that he wears a wedding ring. That means he's not ready to move on, or his wife is alive and well.

I would look into that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 58 and 38 is more easily done than 70 and 50. Or even 65 and 45. People’s energy levels go down significantly, and even a “high energy” 65 year old is not on the same plane as a 45 year old. There’s no way I’d go for this as a long-term thing personally.

BUT I get it, love is powerful. If you’re okay with sacrificing for the man you love in a few years, go for it. But realize it will be a difficult road and it wouldn’t be fair to resent him!

I think it varies significantly. At 65 I see it with parents and ILs- my parents still work, go for 5+ mile runs, eat very clean etc but have generally been this way forever. My ILs are the opposite (always have been according to DH) and it shows. One had heart attack at 60, other could barely walk a mile at a leisurely pace... neither worked past mid50s and now just laze around all day.
Give me a healthy, spry 60 year old over a 40 year old loaf any day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be friends, fine. To date, no

What about carnal friends? Maybe she wants to get with him carnally.

Well at 58…his time left for that might be a lot shorter

[Anonymous]

No OP. He might seem compatible NOW. But age can catch up real quick. He is likely already dealing with some chronic conditions (high BP, high cholesterol..). Erectile dysfunction is a reality he likely faces or will soon- add in a heart condition most men get at some point and the erectile meds become incompatible.

I’m 39 and wouldn’t date men in 50s. I just don’t want to be pill sorting, monitoring someone else’s diet, keeping track of their dr appts and all the other things women end up having to help older men with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. I am 45. I would not date over 47. I can go younger. No way I would date a man 5 or more years older. Never.

You are uncomfortable with aging, clearly.

I do not look 45. Read my logical reasons. There is no reason to date much older unless a woman has to. There is no reason to date older than my age. I do not want or need a man’s money. That is the typical reason women date older. An older man would complicate my life logistically. No reason to deal with that when I have options of people a few years younger who would I not complicate my life with kids schedules.

You have issues with aging and each reply proves that.

I don’t think you can read.

I think you have a blind spot. Your every post is how young you are and anyone over 45 is decrepit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is 70, I am 44. Can’t imagine sleeping with a 68 yo man that’s old . [/quote

Lucky for OP she has 10 years before that happens.]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No OP. He might seem compatible NOW. But age can catch up real quick. He is likely already dealing with some chronic conditions (high BP, high cholesterol..). Erectile dysfunction is a reality he likely faces or will soon- add in a heart condition most men get at some point and the erectile meds become incompatible.

I’m 39 and wouldn’t date men in 50s. I just don’t want to be pill sorting, monitoring someone else’s diet, keeping track of their dr appts and all the other things women end up having to help older men with

WTF kinda 50 year olds fo you people know? None of what you described is normal at 50 or even 60 . Maybe for some in their 70s bit multiple appointments and tons of pills isn't the norm until about 80 and then if you're in poor health which isn't automatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No OP. He might seem compatible NOW. But age can catch up real quick. He is likely already dealing with some chronic conditions (high BP, high cholesterol..). Erectile dysfunction is a reality he likely faces or will soon- add in a heart condition most men get at some point and the erectile meds become incompatible.

I’m 39 and wouldn’t date men in 50s. I just don’t want to be pill sorting, monitoring someone else’s diet, keeping track of their dr appts and all the other things women end up having to help older men with

WTF kinda 50 year olds fo you people know? None of what you described is normal at 50 or even 60 . Maybe for some in their 70s bit multiple appointments and tons of pills isn't the norm until about 80 and then if you're in poor health which isn't automatic.

My exH was very athletic, but he had a small heart surgery in his 50s, and ED started around age 49. ED drives them mad and causes major mood swings and cheating as they think it's the wife's fault

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is 70, I am 44. Can’t imagine sleeping with a 68 yo man that’s old . [/quote

Lucky for OP she has 10 years before that happens.]

Exactly that what I wanted to say: 38 and 58 feels differently than 48 and 68 y.o. The latter is nearly my mom's age. It's another generation for me, and I wouldn't date someone that old. In my mid 40s I only date +- 5 years difference with myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 58 and 38 is more easily done than 70 and 50. Or even 65 and 45. People’s energy levels go down significantly, and even a “high energy” 65 year old is not on the same plane as a 45 year old. There’s no way I’d go for this as a long-term thing personally.

BUT I get it, love is powerful. If you’re okay with sacrificing for the man you love in a few years, go for it. But realize it will be a difficult road and it wouldn’t be fair to resent him!

When my 82-year-old uncle got a pacemaker put in, his energy levels returned to those he had when he was 40.

I’m sure your uncle is a lovely, sprightly man for his age. But, bullsh*t!

My 77 year old FIL can definitely keep up with us (early-mid 40s) as well as the grandkids! He eats mostly plants and exercises daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 58 and 38 is more easily done than 70 and 50. Or even 65 and 45. People’s energy levels go down significantly, and even a “high energy” 65 year old is not on the same plane as a 45 year old. There’s no way I’d go for this as a long-term thing personally.

BUT I get it, love is powerful. If you’re okay with sacrificing for the man you love in a few years, go for it. But realize it will be a difficult road and it wouldn’t be fair to resent him!

When my 82-year-old uncle got a pacemaker put in, his energy levels returned to those he had when he was 40.

I’m sure your uncle is a lovely, sprightly man for his age. But, bullsh*t!

My 77 year old FIL can definitely keep up with us (early-mid 40s) as well as the grandkids! He eats mostly plants and exercises daily.

My in-laws are 70 and quite busy and keep up the grandkids and plant-based too. But they are still 70 and while they don’t look bad, they look and act like every bit of 70 year olds. And that’s OKAY! There’s nothing wrong with being 70!

An affectionate grandparent/uncle/relative/coworker/whatever relationship with all the distance that entails is not the same as a living in close quarters 100% of the time have sex tackle life together husband-wife relationship!

[Anonymous]

Been there, done that (married exDH who is 20 years my senior and had a child). Don’t recommend.

Re-married, had another child, and DH is 2 years older than me. Much better fit. Similar life goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not too old. Rule of thumb is half the older partner's age plus 7 years. 58/2 = 29. 29 + 7 = 36. It's fine. It's kind of May-December, but it's; fine. If you like the guy, go for it. He's probably counting his lucky stars that you're interested.

Who made this rule?

The French? It's commonly attributed to a French author or various other people from France.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not too old. Rule of thumb is half the older partner's age plus 7 years. 58/2 = 29. 29 + 7 = 36. It's fine. It's kind of May-December, but it's; fine. If you like the guy, go for it. He's probably counting his lucky stars that you're interested.

Who made this rule?

The French? It's commonly attributed to a French author or various other people from France.

French are known for open marriages where spouses each live their own sex life. And the marriage is a financial contract.