Experienced Parents: What was DCUM right/wrong about?

[Anonymous]

Not saving enough
Thinking little Johnny or Susie should get a full ride academically or sports.
Making your kid do a ton of crap volunteering etc. John Hopkins gifted makes a difference LOL
Claiming essays make a difference in large state school applications.
Not understanding data schools that admit on gpa/test scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

Legitimate question: Should we all be fully bankrolling college (and even grad school)? Note that many loan options are primarily student loans (rather than parent plus).
Do some of you still expect your kids to contribute? We can afford it but are still planning on a contribution based on actual earnings or volunteer time (not requiring actual external student loans).

your child has no collateral so can't get a conventional loan. All they will get is what FAFSA determines your EFC (expected family contribution) is. Our was 100% EFC so the most our child got was the $5500 unsubsidized federal loan. We parents have to come up with the difference which we did out of trusts (started pre-529) and refinanced out home. It is VERY expensive, even private. You must add in travel expenses and/or car if a car is necessary (neither of ours had a car on campus)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

You advisor is absurd. You don't need $200K for public. You do the prepaid, like we did and then save for room/board/graduate school. You tell your kids that they are going to a state school as that is what you can afford.

UVA is over $42K/year for in-state. So the $50K/year is not that far off.

That's absurd for a state school. So, your kid goes to a different state school.

It's only $36,000 for College of ARts and Sciences where DS went. GMU was more. William & Mary is a lot more. Still a deal compared to $83K for my SLAC

[Anonymous]

Right: Get essays done in the summer, particularly the main common app essay. Cast a wide net. Don’t talk about “dream schools” and be happy with every school on your list. Talk to your kids early and often about budget. Educate yourself.

Wrong: IT’S A BLOODBATH OUT THERE hysteria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What DCUM got right: being a recruited athlete is the best hook.

+1
Talent and hard work in athletics and in the classroom can really pay off!

What do people do with kids who are not talented athletes?

Get them started with a sport they enjoy when they are young. You don’t need to be a natural athlete. It can be learned.

Ha! Just make sure if you are looking for sports scholarships that you pick a sport with a lot of teams at a lot of schools and not one that has fewer than 100 schools with less than 15 per team. Look at sports like soccer.

LOL soccer waste total waste. Lax too.

Soccer is the best sport in the world.
A lot of people play it for life time.
Look at the fields around you.

[Anonymous]

Dcum is right about the important of college rank on dating/mating markets / socialization

The type of stuff that will get you banned/downvoted on Reddit or college confidential but is true and no one wants to talk about

There have been a few threads in the last few years about this.

Dcum college forum is the happy balance between college confidencial and autoadmit

[Anonymous]

Dcum is wrong about spray and pray

It’s the best thing to do if you are a high scoring minority (urm or asian)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough
Thinking little Johnny or Susie should get a full ride academically or sports.
Making your kid do a ton of crap volunteering etc. John Hopkins gifted makes a difference LOL
Claiming essays make a difference in large state school applications.
Not understanding data schools that admit on gpa/test scores.

Every year parents come on this site and say "we need merit aid" not understanding that the top schools no longer give merit and a the second and third tier ones that give it (a substantial amount) want something in exchange that they can report to USNWR, like a top GPA, valedictorian, Top ACT, top SAT score, etc. Yes, some schools give tiny amounts of aid routinely but that is nothing when you are looking at a total cost of $60-83K a year. Also, parents fall for the "At __ college, 99% of our students receive financial aid" line not realizing that that figure includes all families like ours which received an EFC of 100% from FAFSA so fully fund with the exception of the $5500 subsidized loan which everyone gets. Hence, the "99% of our students receive aid" brag. Just because you NEED aid, as we did, does not mean you are going to get it. Financial aid is controlled by the CSS and FAFSA. Merit by the school and top schools aren't going to give it because they don't need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

I like you

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

You advisor is absurd. You don't need $200K for public. You do the prepaid, like we did and then save for room/board/graduate school. You tell your kids that they are going to a state school as that is what you can afford.

UVA is over $42K/year for in-state. So the $50K/year is not that far off.

That's absurd for a state school. So, your kid goes to a different state school.

You do you and send your kid to where you can afford. Obviously there are plenty of schools that can be done for $20-25K/year all in--including living on/near campus. However, I'm simply pointing out that $40-50K for instate schools is not unheard of and there is no reason someone should not plan for that if they can afford to.

Btw, I'm a huge proponent of not going into debt for college. While I may be able to afford $80K/year plus med school for my kids, if I hadn't saved enough/couldn't afford, yes they would be at state U paying $25K and working hard to earn $10K/year themselves to help pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

Ummm...not everyone has a financial advisor.

A simple google search for a college cost calculator 20 years ago would have given anyone similar information.

We did this 21 years ago (oldest is a Senior now) and calculator recommended 1,000-1,500 per month, per kid. That was not financially possible at the time. Knowing is different than being able to afford it.

Obviously! But knowing that means you can make whatever choices work for your family to plan for it. Or plan for your kid to attend a school that only costs them $15-20K/year. But it should not come as a shock to anyone with a HS student currently that college will run them $25-40K/year easily right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

You advisor is absurd. You don't need $200K for public. You do the prepaid, like we did and then save for room/board/graduate school. You tell your kids that they are going to a state school as that is what you can afford.

Most parents have no idea when their children are small where their children will want to go to college. hence, prepaid doesn't work for most families.

Exactly! We have moved 3 times since the kids were born, each time to a different state. Prepaid plans are not the best for many people. Much better to front load a 529 so your kid can go anywhere. Then your kids can do the state school where you currently live (if that's what you can afford/where they want to go)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What DCUM got right: being a recruited athlete is the best hook.

+1
Talent and hard work in athletics and in the classroom can really pay off!

What do people do with kids who are not talented athletes?

Get them started with a sport they enjoy when they are young. You don’t need to be a natural athlete. It can be learned.

Ha! Just make sure if you are looking for sports scholarships that you pick a sport with a lot of teams at a lot of schools and not one that has fewer than 100 schools with less than 15 per team. Look at sports like soccer.

LOL soccer waste total waste. Lax too.

Soccer is the best sport in the world.
A lot of people play it for life time.
Look at the fields around you.

There are tons and tons of schools with college soccer and lax teams. That's the way to go (unlike gymnastics with only 80 something teams across all divisions).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What DCUM got right: being a recruited athlete is the best hook.

+1
Talent and hard work in athletics and in the classroom can really pay off!

What do people do with kids who are not talented athletes?

Get them started with a sport they enjoy when they are young. You don’t need to be a natural athlete. It can be learned.

Ha! Just make sure if you are looking for sports scholarships that you pick a sport with a lot of teams at a lot of schools and not one that has fewer than 100 schools with less than 15 per team. Look at sports like soccer.

It’s very difficult to be recruited to a good school for soccer, particularly men’s soccer. Many schools recruit internationally for soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all the admissions pessimism on this board, we thought DS would have a tougher time with a 1390 SAT and 3.75 UW/4.2 W GPA. He got into one EA SLAC with 50% merit aid and then into his reach ED with a 13% admit rate, then withdrew other apps. Honestly, I thought there was no way he’d get into ED, so I didn’t think a lot about the commitment. That was a mistake.

Well that ain't Ivy is it--that's all that counts around these parts unless the LAC (Not SLAC) is Amherst, Williams, or Pomona. Hope he enjoys Maine--Colby is cold in the Winter.

I thought Bates and how wonderful that would be. And I find this helpful because I have a kid with similar stats (but a DD). I was surprised to see Collegevine giving higher odds at Middlebury.

Bates is a great school! I’d be happy if my DC got in. It’s not Williams or Amherst but those are almost as hard as ivies to get in. When you’re looking at Williams, they are really looking at the kid who could get into an ivy but really wanted small rural school instead. Not someone who has it as second choice after an ivy reject.