Experienced Parents: What was DCUM right/wrong about?

[Anonymous]

I have seen so many threads over the years in this forum from parents asking questions. I’m curious for those people who started threads and whose kids are now in college, what did DCUM get right and wrong for you?

[Anonymous]

Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

+1

[Anonymous]

Agree with the above. And once they get to their school as freshmen they are all in the same boat/level - a ton of adjustment, soul-searching, anxiety, self-discovery, etc. Resilience is important.

[Anonymous]

Agree with all of the above. But also, the schools DCUM insists are “safety schools” are not. There are very few actual safety schools anymore.

[Anonymous]

Re the anxiety, speak for yourself, PPs.

My senior is twice exceptional, so yes, we ARE anxious, because there's no telling how universities will view his unequal profile. Also, with his ADHD, we've kept a close eye on deadlines and everything that needs to be requested/handed in.

I won't be as anxious with my second child, who is very predictable in her performance and will probably want to manage the whole thing herself anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re the anxiety, speak for yourself, PPs.

My senior is twice exceptional, so yes, we ARE anxious, because there's no telling how universities will view his unequal profile. Also, with his ADHD, we've kept a close eye on deadlines and everything that needs to be requested/handed in.

I won't be as anxious with my second child, who is very predictable in her performance and will probably want to manage the whole thing herself anyway.

You have a special case, not the general one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

This. Our family was swimming entirely alone by practicing this ^^ as our class of 22 grad went through the process

(For context, kid was a Sidwell grad and we live in upper NW).

Honestly I believe many of our peers reveal their mental illness during this process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

This. Our family was swimming entirely alone by practicing this ^^ as our class of 22 grad went through the process

(For context, kid was a Sidwell grad and we live in upper NW).

Honestly I believe many of our peers reveal their mental illness during this process.

This is us now. DC sits quietly as peers talk about where they are applying and keeps his plan and stats to himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

This. Our family was swimming entirely alone by practicing this ^^ as our class of 22 grad went through the process

(For context, kid was a Sidwell grad and we live in upper NW).

Honestly I believe many of our peers reveal their mental illness during this process.

You could say the same for a lot of things on DCUM...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

This. Our family was swimming entirely alone by practicing this ^^ as our class of 22 grad went through the process

(For context, kid was a Sidwell grad and we live in upper NW).

Honestly I believe many of our peers reveal their mental illness during this process.

So true. I was so anxious with my older kid. I was obsessed with who was applying where, constantly talking about it, etc. I alienated her and made her more nervous. It worked out perfectly. She is super happy and engaged where she ended up.

With my younger one, who is going through the process now, I’ve chilled out quite a bit (probably not enough for her but much better). It will be fine. She will end up somewhere. She tells me she can be happy pretty much anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

I want to hear about it. I’m excited for the kids. I get there are a few that could sting if your kid was almost in direct competition but by and large, they’re not.

[Anonymous]

What did DCUM get wrong?
The stakes are just not that high. Going to T10 v. T30 v. T50 isn't going to make or break your life. Also, acknowledging what you can control versus what you can't will be helpful. Fretting over what amounts to admission lottery picks isn't healthy for anyone and definitely not worth risking a child's mental health over. If your kid gets in, great! If not, there are myriad other attractive options. Make sure your child can articulate a reason he/she would be excited to go to any school on his or her list, from the easiest to get into to the hardest.

What did DCUM get right?
Get a rolling admission in hand ASAP. Both of mine were so happy to be able to have their "worst case scenario" known. When you know that if "worse comes to worst" I'm off to Pitt, that's a pretty great thing because Pitt is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

I like you

[Anonymous]

Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.