Experienced Parents: What was DCUM right/wrong about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen so many threads over the years in this forum from parents asking questions. I’m curious for those people who started threads and whose kids are now in college, what did DCUM get right and wrong for you?

Money. totally wrong about money. We are a donut hole family, and all we could afford was in-state tuition. period. Forget about merit aid at so-so SLACS. Ain't gonna happen unless you've got at least $60K to spend per year instead of $85K. That difference didn't matter to us -- neither was affordable.

Kids are ecstatically happy at very low-ranked colleges. It really doesn't matter where they go to college as long as they are happy there. All this prestige crap is garbage. Total, utter, garbage. I went to a fancy college and hated it. I wish I'd gone to a less prestigious college, as my kids did, and did well and was happy. I've regretted it to this day, and it really did very little for me. 2+2 = 4 everywhere.

Kids will do best at a college where they are happy and can graduate Debt free (and debt free means that their parents are not going into debt/making crazy financial decisions to put them thru this college). Ultimately, where you go does NOT matter. It's what you do while there and afterwards. Just look around at your job(s), and majority of successful people went to regular universities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: the relentless push by some to obsess over “fit” and insist that kids are better off at CTCL schools instead of second tier state schools.

When you think about, is it really possible to get a feel for "fit" unless you're already there on a consistent basis? You really can't base it totally on a visit or two. In addition, "fit" can be transient and affected by factors that can change such as mental health, roommate, dorm, classes, etc.

IMO it is possible to see the "fit" with just one visit. My own kid had an ED choice they just loved (I knew they would---I went there and the campus is beautiful, it's a T10 and there is not much not to like). But that was a crapshoot they didn't win.
But after that they ended up at the one other school that they really loved the campus, the people we talked to, the programs both for their major and for their other interests (they get to take "core curriculum classes" in something they love because there is no core curriculum)----it was the only other place that my kid just "lit up" each time we visited (once summer before senior year, again in April senior year). It was a place they considered ED2 but then "wanted to wait and see if they could get into a few other schools". I suspect they didn't do ED2 because the other parent wanted to see if they could get into a "higher ranked school" (despite this school being in T40---but kid didn't care about rankings).

So I'd argue that ultimately, based on college visits one time, my kid ended up at the best fit for them (ok---2nd best fit---their ED would have been amazing as well but we knew it wasn't very likely with 5-7% acceptance rates). 2 months in, and they have found their group and are loving everything about it. But for them, fit was about more than "what the campus looked like"---it was about the academics, the students on campus (not a huge party scene), a good balance of STEM and humanities/social sciences so not overly "geeky" and tons of support for all performing arts and arts in general. The students they met and talked to were all very similar to my kid.

[Anonymous]

I think DCUM was wrong about placement of kids with GPAs of around 3.3 or 3.4 coming out from a Big 3 school. That's where our daughter found herself at the beginning of senior year and DCUM posts were insistent that she would not even get into a T-50 school. She got into a T-30 university and a good NESCAC LAC (think Bates, Colby).

I don't think people realize the difference in placement of a 3.3-3.4 from a Big 3 vs. an area public like Whitman, McLean.