Experienced Parents: What was DCUM right/wrong about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did DCUM get wrong?
The stakes are just not that high. Going to T10 v. T30 v. T50 isn't going to make or break your life. Also, acknowledging what you can control versus what you can't will be helpful. Fretting over what amounts to admission lottery picks isn't healthy for anyone and definitely not worth risking a child's mental health over. If your kid gets in, great! If not, there are myriad other attractive options. Make sure your child can articulate a reason he/she would be excited to go to any school on his or her list, from the easiest to get into to the hardest.

What did DCUM get right?
Get a rolling admission in hand ASAP. Both of mine were so happy to be able to have their "worst case scenario" known. When you know that if "worse comes to worst" I'm off to Pitt, that's a pretty great thing because Pitt is awesome.

Agree!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Curious, what is enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Curious, what is enough?

DP. Depends on your goal. Four years community college? 2/2 CC/state U? Private? Live at home or on campus? Top 30 vs. Top 100? College budgets vary a lot. One could go to George Mason, live at home, and work part-time to help pay tuition. Savings required? Minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

They have changed some, but private schools have always been expensive. 20+ years ago it was around $40K for the private school I went to. Instead of a fancy house, cars and vacations we save so life at some point is about choices and if you choose not to save and you can save, why do you think your kid deserves aid over another?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

You advisor is absurd. You don't need $200K for public. You do the prepaid, like we did and then save for room/board/graduate school. You tell your kids that they are going to a state school as that is what you can afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Curious, what is enough?

My goal is to fully pay for a state school and graduate school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saving enough with the justification of being in a good school district and relying on merit or financial aid and being disappointed when its not what you deem enough.

Realism is sometimes hard to come by on this board. College and college prices have changed so much over the last 30 years that some are totally disoriented when they understand the current landscape. For some, that updated understanding occurs only as their kids are applying for college. That’s where state schools can be helpful, but some people don’t want to be bound by those options.

It is so irresponsible. This is nothing someone should be surprised by when your kid is a senior. Our financial advisor told us 20 years ago to save roughly $350k-$400k for each of our kids for private colleges and $200k for public college.

Holy sh-t you are out of touch from people in the real world. To just assume that because we know what would be needed to attend private is altogether attainable. Sure, everyone can save $400k per kid for college because our financial advisor said to do it. Your high and mighty attitude makes me sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

I like you

Yes, please just get an "X College Mom" shirt to wear too much rather than posting about it here!

Also, you see huge generalizations on DCUM about what people see and hear. This close to this year's admissions cycle, I'd just stop looking at the DCUM threads unless you have substantive questions. Looking and comparing doesn't help anyone.

[Anonymous]

What DCUM got right: being a recruited athlete is the best hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What DCUM got right: being a recruited athlete is the best hook.

+1
Talent and hard work in athletics and in the classroom can really pay off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re the anxiety, speak for yourself, PPs.

My senior is twice exceptional, so yes, we ARE anxious, because there's no telling how universities will view his unequal profile. Also, with his ADHD, we've kept a close eye on deadlines and everything that needs to be requested/handed in.

I won't be as anxious with my second child, who is very predictable in her performance and will probably want to manage the whole thing herself anyway.

You are not an experienced parent. Come back when you're on the back side of at least one, if not two, admissions experiences for your kid.

I get that it's hard to manage this with a 2E kid. But you don't actually have anything useful to share yet.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all. Really interesting so far.

[Anonymous]

With all the admissions pessimism on this board, we thought DS would have a tougher time with a 1390 SAT and 3.75 UW/4.2 W GPA. He got into one EA SLAC with 50% merit aid and then into his reach ED with a 13% admit rate, then withdrew other apps. Honestly, I thought there was no way he’d get into ED, so I didn’t think a lot about the commitment. That was a mistake.