I do not like the parent population at my kids school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming OP’s child started the day after Labor Day, like most local independent schools, her DD has been in school 14 days total. Hardly enough time to make friends!

Yes, I’m the PP who said I don’t understand and this is why. OPs kids are in high school. The kids have been in school a month, if that. Possibly just two weeks. How can OP even have met enough people to even reach this conclusion? It seems insane to me.

What are you so invested in disproving the op? I find that really strange. Do you know her? Are you worried she is talking about you and your school? I don’t get your intentions to disprove her?

I’m not that PP, but I despite liars, and I think OP is clearly lying or trolling.

Because no new parent ever disliked the parent community at the school their child attends?

Of course not, but the facts here seem very very off. I think OP is trolling.

What facts?

[Anonymous]

In retrospect, I feel lucky that I experienced this intensely at a top preschool, because it led us to a decidedly not clubby private. I had never been in an environment where people literally wouldn’t respond to a greeting at pickup because you had nothing to offer them socially.

There are times when I wonder if my DCs are missing out on some of what’s to offer at a Beauvoir or St. Pat’s because I wasn’t willing to “pay the price,” but the feeling of lightness that comes from not dealing with (some of) those parents has been worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you assume SAHM are all vapid or rude? Being rich doesn’t mean you aren’t well educated, smart or kind. Most SAHM I know are lovely and generous with their time. Maybe stop stereotyping people and see what happens??

I don’t. My post was saying that a lot of people assume that, and they shouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

“Not a private school situation. It's the mean high school kids not changing and being mean adults. Why do you want to be friends with people who make you feel bad? You have a few people who you say are lovely so put your energy there makes more sense.”


+10

And I would be quite happy if the annoying people ignored me, as it saves my time and energy by not having to interact with them.

[Anonymous]

There are some schools where many current moms are alumnae, those same moms still live in the same neighborhood where they grew up together, they still are members at their parents’ country club, their daughters only socialize in that same circle of mom’s friends, and those same legacy moms do not welcome outsiders/newcomers (unless they see _immediate_ social, political, or economic benefit).

I attended such a school and have witnessed that pattern. (And I thank God my family wasn’t socially engaged with any of them.)

What OP described is real at multiple schools in DC/MD/VA and, yes, it often is visible by this time of the school year.

That said, there also are other, usually more interesting, and nicer people who are moms at the same schools. It often takes longer for a newcomer to find that other crowd, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

I think some of the pp are clearly part of the mean parent group and are afraid they are being publicly called out although no one is naming schools so I think maybe a guilty conscience needs no accuser? Otherwise there is no explanation for their responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

I think some of the pp are clearly part of the mean parent group and are afraid they are being publicly called out although no one is naming schools so I think maybe a guilty conscience needs no accuser? Otherwise there is no explanation for their responses.

Do you all lack reading comprehension?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

You didn’t actually read what the poster was responding to. OP started the thread to say that they don’t like their parent community (I have no problem with that - I don’t much like the parent community at my kid’s Big 3 either). The problem is, OP responded to the thread saying that they never said they were miserable at a private school. Either they are implying that the school involved isn’t a private school or outright denying that they said that they are miserable at their private. Claiming after after all the back and forth that the thread made their headache “worse” is a douche behavior.

And the PPs calling OP a lying troll before OP posted the second time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and I don't know what to do about it. It is a great school but I am miserable.My kids seem happy and that its what matters. I am miserable

How long have you been there? It's possible that connections will grow over time.

I have nothing in common with the parents at the school my child goes to and yet everyone is cordial and welcoming and I am definitely not miserable.

Is it a matter of you hoped to get your own friends when you enrolled your child? Say more so we understand why you are miserable, sounds like you are having a hard time with the unmet expectations.

I hav

Different poster here.

The thing is that at some schools, many people are NOT cordial or welcoming. That is the problem. I am NOT looking for my new BFFs or even friends but it would be nice if people who I chatted with 2 or 3 times at previous events would even acknowledge me when passing at the next event It's just weird. I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday and have been in many DC circles of busy people who still manage to engage politely with others. So when SAHMs of high schoolers at our school look through me (and others) I know it's not because they're "too busy"; rather that they're just being obnoxious.
Vent over: I have met some lovely people and have a dozen or so I can chat with at events and a few that I will probably keep in touch with long after my kids graduate. But the rest I could really do without.

Not a private school situation. It's the mean high school kids not changing and being mean adults. Why do you want to be friends with people who make you feel bad? You have a few people who you say are lovely so put your energy there makes more sense.

Good question. I don't want to be friends with them. But being ignored and/or looked through by a large sector of a community that you are part of is grates over time and is quietly stressful/annoying. I don't think anyone likes that feeling. I'm 47 years old with teenagers and a high level job. I probably shouldn't give a crap but I don't like it. And this school is the only place I've felt this way since I was literally a teenager myself. I've never been treated this way in a professional setting, another DC social setting, etc.
I know I'm not alone because those I am friends with at the school (also highly functional professionals) are always quick to ask (prior to school-wide events) "are you going?" "will you be there?" Every time. It's like we cling to each others for a few friendly faces amongst a decidedly unfriendly crowd.
So why do we put up with this BS? Well the education is excellent, our kids are high schoolers who are reasonably happy (hard to move them) and it's fundamentally not about us.

Given that you have a high level professional job, my guess is that you and the other "highly functioning professionals" are busy people who are involved with work and not necessarily involved with parent activities at the school (organizing the fundraisers, joining the mom groups, etc.) You're not the SAHM meeting with others during the day. Also, a lot of these people probably knew each other before their DCs started high school. Not knocking you, just my guess based on my own experience of walking into places where everyone seems to know one another, and I wonder how they do. If I'm being honest, I don't really choose to put myself out there and get too involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

I think some of the pp are clearly part of the mean parent group and are afraid they are being publicly called out although no one is naming schools so I think maybe a guilty conscience needs no accuser? Otherwise there is no explanation for their responses.

Do you all lack reading comprehension?

Seriously. I can’t understand how people can miss so much when they read. This seems … quite clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

I think some of the pp are clearly part of the mean parent group and are afraid they are being publicly called out although no one is naming schools so I think maybe a guilty conscience needs no accuser? Otherwise there is no explanation for their responses.

Do you all lack reading comprehension?

Seriously. I can’t understand how people can miss so much when they read. This seems … quite clear.

I don’t think anyone really cares whether op is a Troll or not because several other people are sharing their own experiences so people are responding to those. You need to ask yourself why does this thread trigger you so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never said I was miserable at a private school. This thread made my headache worse. Goodbye

Yet, it is the private school thread. More evidence that you're a troll trying to stir up trouble. Your head aches because you are a liar and lying sucks out all of your energy.

Bye bye, troll. Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

Wow. I hope you’re not a mom at any of my kids schools. Keep it trashy Pp.

Huh? PP is right. OP is a douche and a troll.

DP. I’ve actually been to several sporting events and back to school events this year and believe it or not I’ve heard other parents say they like the school but don’t like the parent community at our school either. These are friends that say it in confidence so maybe it’s not something they would announce but I don’t know why it’s so difficult for you to believe? And yes we are at a big three and I know several people that don’t like the parent community and are literally counting the days until their kid graduates.

I think some of the pp are clearly part of the mean parent group and are afraid they are being publicly called out although no one is naming schools so I think maybe a guilty conscience needs no accuser? Otherwise there is no explanation for their responses.

Do you all lack reading comprehension?

Seriously. I can’t understand how people can miss so much when they read. This seems … quite clear.

I don’t think anyone really cares whether op is a Troll or not because several other people are sharing their own experiences so people are responding to those. You need to ask yourself why does this thread trigger you so much?

I don't care whether OP is a troll. But if another poster think so and calls out OP's BS (in this case, not without reason), I also don't think that poster should be called "trashy". Does that explain it, armchair psychologist?