shoes in house -awkward

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don’t have dogs? My dog walks through his own pee in the yard and that of other dogs in walks. I don’t make him wear shoes because I don’t have ocd. People this insane about germs that would flip out over a few footsteps through the house need a psychiatrist. The gossiping is just the icing on the cake. I bet her kid has allergies and autoimmune disease in the future.

I have dogs too and my house is set up for them. A typical Japanese house is not set up for shoes. People sit on the floor.

Who’s talking about a typical Japanese house? I’ve never been to a house in the US composed of tatami mats.

Dp. I have tatami in my house in the US. But, I don't think a house needs to be setup with tatami for people to feel uncomfortable with shoes in the home. It's probably cultural and just a gut reflex.

The germs are real. Your shoes literally track in fecal matter. I doubt, however, the friend's reaction is consciously about the germs. The idea that shoes are dirty and shouldn't be in the house is a cultural norm, and the reaction against is automatic.

The germs are on the floor not the counter. Unless you are a floor culture family this doesn't make sense. Do you also clean the toilet and the seat after every person uses it? If you'd like to cut down on dirt or have carpets (which I think are totally gross by the way shoes or no shoes) that makes sense but this whole, "there are germs on the floor of my home" nonsense is really crazy. Odds are, there are more germs on your doorknobs, phone and computer than on my shoes in the house floor.

[Anonymous]

You should mention something to the boost head on. Apologize for the slight and let her know there was no ill intent. That will also teach her not to be gossipy.

I wouldn't remain friends with her or accept another invite to her home.

[Anonymous]

Boost =host

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don’t have dogs? My dog walks through his own pee in the yard and that of other dogs in walks. I don’t make him wear shoes because I don’t have ocd. People this insane about germs that would flip out over a few footsteps through the house need a psychiatrist. The gossiping is just the icing on the cake. I bet her kid has allergies and autoimmune disease in the future.

I have dogs too and my house is set up for them. A typical Japanese house is not set up for shoes. People sit on the floor.

Who’s talking about a typical Japanese house? I’ve never been to a house in the US composed of tatami mats.

Dp. I have tatami in my house in the US. But, I don't think a house needs to be setup with tatami for people to feel uncomfortable with shoes in the home. It's probably cultural and just a gut reflex.

The germs are real. Your shoes literally track in fecal matter. I doubt, however, the friend's reaction is consciously about the germs. The idea that shoes are dirty and shouldn't be in the house is a cultural norm, and the reaction against is automatic.

The germs are on the floor not the counter. Unless you are a floor culture family this doesn't make sense. Do you also clean the toilet and the seat after every person uses it? If you'd like to cut down on dirt or have carpets (which I think are totally gross by the way shoes or no shoes) that makes sense but this whole, "there are germs on the floor of my home" nonsense is really crazy. Odds are, there are more germs on your doorknobs, phone and computer than on my shoes in the house floor.

You really never touch your floor? I have kids who play on the floor, so yes, it does make sense for us.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to think if I were you I'd jut have run through the sprinkler or taken my shoes off and slipped them back on. But I understand how you just walked through the house.

As for your friend, she should have either point blank ASKED you to take off your shoes again if you were going to walk through the house, or NOT blabbed to a mutual friend if she didn't request that.

Sounds like it was just one of those awkward play dates and you're not a natural match. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think if I were you I'd jut have run through the sprinkler or taken my shoes off and slipped them back on. But I understand how you just walked through the house.

As for your friend, she should have either point blank ASKED you to take off your shoes again if you were going to walk through the house, or NOT blabbed to a mutual friend if she didn't request that.

Sounds like it was just one of those awkward play dates and you're not a natural match. No big deal.

I think it is odd that this host gossiped to a friend and even more odd that this mutual friend told you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don’t have dogs? My dog walks through his own pee in the yard and that of other dogs in walks. I don’t make him wear shoes because I don’t have ocd. People this insane about germs that would flip out over a few footsteps through the house need a psychiatrist. The gossiping is just the icing on the cake. I bet her kid has allergies and autoimmune disease in the future.

I have dogs too and my house is set up for them. A typical Japanese house is not set up for shoes. People sit on the floor.

Who’s talking about a typical Japanese house? I’ve never been to a house in the US composed of tatami mats.

Dp. I have tatami in my house in the US. But, I don't think a house needs to be setup with tatami for people to feel uncomfortable with shoes in the home. It's probably cultural and just a gut reflex.

The germs are real. Your shoes literally track in fecal matter. I doubt, however, the friend's reaction is consciously about the germs. The idea that shoes are dirty and shouldn't be in the house is a cultural norm, and the reaction against is automatic.

The germs are on the floor not the counter. Unless you are a floor culture family this doesn't make sense. Do you also clean the toilet and the seat after every person uses it? If you'd like to cut down on dirt or have carpets (which I think are totally gross by the way shoes or no shoes) that makes sense but this whole, "there are germs on the floor of my home" nonsense is really crazy. Odds are, there are more germs on your doorknobs, phone and computer than on my shoes in the house floor.

You really never touch your floor? I have kids who play on the floor, so yes, it does make sense for us.

To add, I married into a "floor culture family," but I don't think we need to live that way to respect her culture. And yes, those other items are dirty, but wiping down something down after every single use isn't as easy as simply removing shoes (special needs not being an issue for us or our friends). But if it was as quck and easy, maybe we'd be doing it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think if I were you I'd jut have run through the sprinkler or taken my shoes off and slipped them back on. But I understand how you just walked through the house.

As for your friend, she should have either point blank ASKED you to take off your shoes again if you were going to walk through the house, or NOT blabbed to a mutual friend if she didn't request that.

Sounds like it was just one of those awkward play dates and you're not a natural match. No big deal.

I think it is odd that this host gossiped to a friend and even more odd that this mutual friend told you.

Yeah, agree, the talking about it on both ends is odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

NP. That’s not so. My husband and I have a shoes-off (me) or indoor shoes (him) policy for ourselves, but we don’t ask our guests to take their shoes off. Some do, some don’t. It’s all good—our floors are hardwood and easily cleaned.

This is us too.By taking our shoes off we eliminate 95% of shoe dirt. Some guests take off and some do not. The world still spins. IIf I have to run back in the house to grab something I probably would leave them on if I was rushing..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

NP. That’s not so. My husband and I have a shoes-off (me) or indoor shoes (him) policy for ourselves, but we don’t ask our guests to take their shoes off. Some do, some don’t. It’s all good—our floors are hardwood and easily cleaned.

This is us too.By taking our shoes off we eliminate 95% of shoe dirt. Some guests take off and some do not. The world still spins. IIf I have to run back in the house to grab something I probably would leave them on if I was rushing..

+1 It's hard to be 100% strict about it when you have guests who need to keep their shoes on for medical reasons or use a walker or a wheelchair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just run over the floor with a swiffer when they leave. What a weirdo.

This. She's a jerk for mentioning it to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an Asian family and a no shoe household. While I would not have liked you to walk through our house with shoes, I would never vent to another mom about it.

Two things I won’t ever quite understand is walking indoors with dirty shoes or leaving windows and doors open. I hate bugs and don’t want anything to fly in.

We had a friend who would just leave their doors wide open and a bird flew in. My kids and I were shocked that they did this. I can’t imagine how I would feel if a bird flew in our house. Flies are bad enough.

Ugh, your house sounds stuffy and stale as hell. Fresh air is so important in a house.

Pp here. Who said we don’t open our windows?

I have 3 kids and we host people often. We have 6 different exits and kids often come in through the front door or mudroom and leave through garage or backyard. Of course kids trek through our kitchen and foyer with shoes. I don’t like it but they do it. I would say most of our guests or our frequent guests come through and leave through our mudroom.

We have house cleaners who clean our floors often.

You literally said you don’t leave windows open.

[Anonymous]

Text her. "X told me you're upset that we didn't take our shoes off. Sorry about that."

[Anonymous]

I prefer shoes to gross, sweaty feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don’t have dogs? My dog walks through his own pee in the yard and that of other dogs in walks. I don’t make him wear shoes because I don’t have ocd. People this insane about germs that would flip out over a few footsteps through the house need a psychiatrist. The gossiping is just the icing on the cake. I bet her kid has allergies and autoimmune disease in the future.

I have dogs too and my house is set up for them. A typical Japanese house is not set up for shoes. People sit on the floor.

Who’s talking about a typical Japanese house? I’ve never been to a house in the US composed of tatami mats.

Dp. I have tatami in my house in the US. But, I don't think a house needs to be setup with tatami for people to feel uncomfortable with shoes in the home. It's probably cultural and just a gut reflex.

The germs are real. Your shoes literally track in fecal matter. I doubt, however, the friend's reaction is consciously about the germs. The idea that shoes are dirty and shouldn't be in the house is a cultural norm, and the reaction against is automatic.

The germs are on the floor not the counter. Unless you are a floor culture family this doesn't make sense. Do you also clean the toilet and the seat after every person uses it? If you'd like to cut down on dirt or have carpets (which I think are totally gross by the way shoes or no shoes) that makes sense but this whole, "there are germs on the floor of my home" nonsense is really crazy. Odds are, there are more germs on your doorknobs, phone and computer than on my shoes in the house floor.

You really never touch your floor? I have kids who play on the floor, so yes, it does make sense for us.

My kids played on the floor in their rooms. I get it if you have a baby. No I don’t touch my floor. It’s the floor. I walk on it. I have chairs and sofas. Are there things grown people are doing on their floors? Maybe I sit on it if I pet the dogs who are in and out so they are generally filthy and I have this neat thing on my body called skin that keeps gross things from getting inside my body. This skin thing is easily washed too! Go figure.