shoes in house -awkward

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why it is important to not to wear shoes in the house? Is it to not soil the rugs? Are there health benefits to not wearing shoes in the house?

I feel like my floors are fine but maybe they aren't (dogs + kids). But, my kids are super healthy. Am I building immunity by having disgusting floors?

You have a filthy house anyway with your dog

[Anonymous]

I respect no shoe households and shoe household. What I don’t respect is an awful person who gossips about someone who had a momentary lapse of memory and walked 15 steps to a different door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why it is important to not to wear shoes in the house? Is it to not soil the rugs? Are there health benefits to not wearing shoes in the house?

I feel like my floors are fine but maybe they aren't (dogs + kids). But, my kids are super healthy. Am I building immunity by having disgusting floors?

If you live in the city, the bottoms of people's shoes are filthy. Spit, mucous, dog pee and poop (human pee and poop depending on where you live). Etc. Once you start a "no shoes in the house policy" you'll see how much cleaner your floors are and you'll never go back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to have friends (a couple) who managed to wear their shoes in the house, without fail -- usually by putting them on on the other side of the living room so they would have to walk across the room to get to the door, instead of putting them on on their way out.

I put up with it for a really long time, even though it bothered me. They were just disrespecting my wishes. Without fail. We're no longer friends.

OP, you should apologize. Next time respect someone's wishes in their own home.

OMG dramatic. She took her shoes off initially, and only wore them in the house because her hostess rudely wouldn't turn off a sprinkler that she would have had to walk through to leave the house. If I were the hostess, I would be embarrassed at being so ungracious.

The point of the 'no-shoes' rule is to not walk around the house in shoes. That's the entire point. It's not some social dance where the host gets to tell the guest to take off their shoes, and once they're done taking them off they've satisfied their obligation and can put them back on again. The point is to not walk around in shoes. OP walked around in her shoes, defeating the purpose. She is dense.

I also think the friend who told her what the 'no shoes' mom said was totally out of line. What a hurtful thing to repeat. I would never feel close to someone who is so unkind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so funny about this situation. Playdate with a newer friend. We had never been to their house before. When we arrived, we entered through their side door and she promptly asked us to take our shoes off. Of course, we did. When it was time to leave, my child and I sat and put our sneakers back on. We went to exit out the kitchen door but there was a sprinkler running right in front of the door. I said "could we go out the front?" and she said "sure!" so we walked through the house and left though the front. Apparently, she later complained to a mutual friend that we walked through their house with shoes on, when she made it clear they were a no-shoe house. Now I feel terribly embarrassed. I'm annoyed that she left out the detail about the sprinkler, but I still wish I had just taken off our shoes to walk through. Is that an obvious thing to do?

We never ask guests to take off their shoes so I have a different perspective.

We are Asians and, obviously, shoes off family but I think your new friend is being silly/petty. I think it's silly to ask people who just put their shoes on to take them off to walk 15 steps. You have done nothing wrong in my opinion. You can be my friend anytime.

I understand not wearing shoes in the house (we are a no shoe family) but sometimes it’s a PITA if you forget something. If I am wearing loafers, I can slip them off again quickly but if I just sat on the floor with my kid and spent a few minutes tying laces, it seems a little ridiculous to undo them, carry them 15 feet, then sit down on your floor and start tying again. It seems like a little perspective is called for here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You just run over the floor with a swiffer when they leave. What a weirdo.

This. She's a jerk for mentioning it to someone else.

Agree, shut the thread down, we have the sanest possible answer.

Yes, this is the point. She should have either shut the sprinkler off, or reminded you to take your shoes off. Or…she could have just cleaned the floor after you left if it was so important.

Now you know she is a cretin. She should have never gossiped about it.

[Anonymous]

I use a cane and I walk on sidewalks, grass, parks. Do I have to check my cane in your house. What about walkers, crutches or wheelchair? I hope your husband is strong enough to carry me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to have friends (a couple) who managed to wear their shoes in the house, without fail -- usually by putting them on on the other side of the living room so they would have to walk across the room to get to the door, instead of putting them on on their way out.

I put up with it for a really long time, even though it bothered me. They were just disrespecting my wishes. Without fail. We're no longer friends.

OP, you should apologize. Next time respect someone's wishes in their own home.

OMG dramatic. She took her shoes off initially, and only wore them in the house because her hostess rudely wouldn't turn off a sprinkler that she would have had to walk through to leave the house. If I were the hostess, I would be embarrassed at being so ungracious.

The point of the 'no-shoes' rule is to not walk around the house in shoes. That's the entire point. It's not some social dance where the host gets to tell the guest to take off their shoes, and once they're done taking them off they've satisfied their obligation and can put them back on again. The point is to not walk around in shoes. OP walked around in her shoes, defeating the purpose. She is dense.

I also think the friend who told her what the 'no shoes' mom said was totally out of line. What a hurtful thing to repeat. I would never feel close to someone who is so unkind.

No, the whole point was what PP said. The hostess was entirely rude to keep the sprinklers running so she couldn’t exit the house. and since the concern is for germs then the hostess can easily mop up after the guests leave. It’s really not that hard. She sounds absolutely awful, not because of her shoe policy but because of her pettiness and gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I use a cane and I walk on sidewalks, grass, parks. Do I have to check my cane in your house. What about walkers, crutches or wheelchair? I hope your husband is strong enough to carry me.

That didn't happen. No one told someone who needs a cane not to use it indoors, but feel free to make up imaginary reasons to be angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use a cane and I walk on sidewalks, grass, parks. Do I have to check my cane in your house. What about walkers, crutches or wheelchair? I hope your husband is strong enough to carry me.

That didn't happen. No one told someone who needs a cane not to use it indoors, but feel free to make up imaginary reasons to be angry.

Shouldn't be just as problematic to the hostess? DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why it is important to not to wear shoes in the house? Is it to not soil the rugs? Are there health benefits to not wearing shoes in the house?

I feel like my floors are fine but maybe they aren't (dogs + kids). But, my kids are super healthy. Am I building immunity by having disgusting floors?

You have a filthy house anyway with your dog

DP with dogs and cats. We have a filthy house full of love and joy and licks and purrs. My children and patient, empathic and adaptable. I value joy more than clean. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use a cane and I walk on sidewalks, grass, parks. Do I have to check my cane in your house. What about walkers, crutches or wheelchair? I hope your husband is strong enough to carry me.

That didn't happen. No one told someone who needs a cane not to use it indoors, but feel free to make up imaginary reasons to be angry.

Shouldn't be just as problematic to the hostess? DP

No. Everything doesn't have to be all or nothing to gain some benefit in reducing dirt and germs.

Do you clean your house even though it will get dirty again? Do you take your shoes off when muddy or do you track mud in the house? These acts aren't rendered meaningless because you don't do every possible thing to keep it clean. The person who takes their shoes off daily just takes an extra step that you don't. It's not actually that different.

But more to the point, the friend was horrible to gossip after the fact. You don't even have to make up facts to find fault here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why it is important to not to wear shoes in the house? Is it to not soil the rugs? Are there health benefits to not wearing shoes in the house?

I feel like my floors are fine but maybe they aren't (dogs + kids). But, my kids are super healthy. Am I building immunity by having disgusting floors?

You have a filthy house anyway with your dog

DP with dogs and cats. We have a filthy house full of love and joy and licks and purrs. My children and patient, empathic and adaptable. I value joy more than clean. 🤷‍♀️

My son has a friend who **I KNOW** lives in a “filthy” house. They have dogs, cats, fish and whatever else. But you know what? She is a fun, nice person and so are her parents. He has a blast every time he goes over, and I would not change her or their family (or their home) for anything in the world.

[Anonymous]

The hostess is both a jerk and unwell. AT MOST this “infraction” would warrant an offhand comment to one’s spouse to which the spouse would say “oh”. To be so hyper focused on the state of potential dirtiness on the floor that she told a third person tells me that they are literally certifiable. The good news OP is that now you don’t need to waste time trying to be friends with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don’t have dogs? My dog walks through his own pee in the yard and that of other dogs in walks. I don’t make him wear shoes because I don’t have ocd. People this insane about germs that would flip out over a few footsteps through the house need a psychiatrist. The gossiping is just the icing on the cake. I bet her kid has allergies and autoimmune disease in the future.

My dog doesn't want to walk through her pee or poop. If she does, I wash her feet. Every time, we have a towel and her feet are wiped off. Otherwise there is dirt brought in. Do it a few times and you'll see how much gets on the towel and not your floors or carpets.

If your dog is walking on the sidewalk and grass they are totally walking in pee and poop.

I can’t fathom being this level of a germophobe. How do you live?

Quite well and easily, in fact. I just use a towel and wipe off its feet. And if she steps in something particularly dirty, I use a bit of water in a bowl to wash her feet. I could ask the same about how you accustom yourself to living with the level of dirt you are fine with. We all draw that line differently.

You wipe your dog’s feet every time they come in from outside? You understand that you are mentally unwell, right?

I'm perfectly sane and normal. It takes 3 seconds and keeps a lot of dirt out. It's probably more mentally odd to be offended by someone's cleaning habits that are fairly normal and used by many pet owners. Not sure what you have at stake in calling me ill.

Yeah, I have a high dirt tolerance, but my dog’s paws are legitimately muddy half the time from his walks, so I also give them a quick rub with a wet paper towel to get off the worst of it. And as I said, I’m kind of a dirty person. So I don’t think this is weird at all.