shoes in house -awkward

[Anonymous]

I feel so funny about this situation. Playdate with a newer friend. We had never been to their house before. When we arrived, we entered through their side door and she promptly asked us to take our shoes off. Of course, we did. When it was time to leave, my child and I sat and put our sneakers back on. We went to exit out the kitchen door but there was a sprinkler running right in front of the door. I said "could we go out the front?" and she said "sure!" so we walked through the house and left though the front. Apparently, she later complained to a mutual friend that we walked through their house with shoes on, when she made it clear they were a no-shoe house. Now I feel terribly embarrassed. I'm annoyed that she left out the detail about the sprinkler, but I still wish I had just taken off our shoes to walk through. Is that an obvious thing to do?

We never ask guests to take off their shoes so I have a different perspective.

[Anonymous]

The mutual friend repeated this to you?

[Anonymous]

You should have carried the shoes inside.

[Anonymous]

I would not want to be friends with someone so anal.

[Anonymous]

It's really easy. If you ask someone to not wear shoes in the house, or just share that they generally don't wear shoes in the house, then take off your shoes. Whether it's for an hour or for walking from one door to another, the problem (for those who don't wear shoes in the house) is that the dirt, the germs, the fragments of dog poop, I95 rest stop urinal slop, or stones that scratch the wood floors happen in the first steps.

Having grown up in farm country, where everyone took off their shoes, it's bizarre to me to traipse around town or the canal path and then traipse through one's own house, let alone another's.

[Anonymous]

Yes you would have been better off taking shoes off to walk to the other door, but it is really strange of her to complain about this to a mutual friend and for that friend to tell you. This is a best a minor annoyance, not something to start a gossip chain about. This person isn’t worth any more energy or thought from you.

[Anonymous]

You were wrong. You should have either taken your shoes off or faced running through the sprinkler. If she is a no-shoe household, then you were rude. Now you know better and if you feel like texting her a quick “I realize I did that and I’m sorry,” that might smooth things over.

[Anonymous]

We are a no-shoe household (cultural from my H) and we also have a front and back door. If a guest walked through the house from one door to another after putting shoes on I would not think anything of it. If she didn't want you to wear shoes in the house at all, she should have said something in the moment ("we just had this floor redone, would you mind taking your shoes back off for just a few more minutes?"). Plus it's a super weird thing to complain/gossip about it to others IMO.

[Anonymous]

We are a bi shoe house, but come on! That is ridiculous. Guests should be made to feel comfy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to be friends with someone so anal.

Same. The anti-shoe crazies have rampant anxiety.

[Anonymous]

She is a bi7ch. Who makes a big deal about shoes? And more importantly, what kind of person gossips about it to another friend? I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. You don’t need that kind of person in your life.

[Anonymous]

You just run over the floor with a swiffer when they leave. What a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

You are lucky to know what kind of gossipy, petty person she is so you know not to be friends with her.

[Anonymous]

The host was wrong to complain about it to someone.

We are a no-shoes house and we don't even need to ask people to take off their shoes, since they all take them off as soon as they see the shoes in the entryway.

But I would NOT be annoyed that you thoughtlessly forgot to take them off while navigating a different exit. It's a mistake. People are allowed to make mistakes. The host can just quickly mop and forget about it.

Next time, please don't forget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you would have been better off taking shoes off to walk to the other door, but it is really strange of her to complain about this to a mutual friend and for that friend to tell you. This is a best a minor annoyance, not something to start a gossip chain about. This person isn’t worth any more energy or thought from you.

This!

The Hallmark of good manners is making others feel comfortable around you. Gossiping is the opposite of that...and for such a minor infraction. I would have thought twice if you did this in my house and for sure I wouldn't gossip about you.

Now if you had cleaned dog poop off you shoe on my door step, yeah that might be gossip worthy.